AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

I don't understand why so many people think it's such a faux pas to have asked. If they are actually friends, who you know and trust, and you're not in the house... why not allow the house to be used when you're not even in it? I have reached out to friends and floated a house swap before, but always offering our house in return. I do struggle in the UK with how private people are about their homes / home lives. There was a thread on here about people 'dropping in' on friends without arranging in advance, and lots of responders were mortified that anyone would do this. I just find it a bit sad that this is such a prevailing view TBF.

We offered a single close friend our house for a week whilst we were aware.
Friend then “sublet” our house without asking to a random stranger who they were friends with.
House was tidy when we got back but she’d moved some less heavy furniture around (coffee table, kitchen breakfast bar chairs to the utility), slept in our bed and she’d tried to access and use my PC in my office (boxroom) as stuff on my desk was moved around and some used chewing gum was stuck on my mouse mat.
Friend didn’t see it was a problem that she hadn’t asked my permission for this.

Completely fine by me and I would offer. The only thing I wouldn't like is the pressure to leave the house in a super-clean state - but if they are nice normal people they wouldn't mind either way.

We had a similar position a few years ago.
My SIL who was around 70 at the time & not in good health wanted to stay at our house while we were away on holiday. ( bear in mind it was just at the end of covid). When this didn't happen she was very upset. But there was no way I would have had a decent holiday. ( she was a smoker with 2 small elderly dogs who she would have brought with her.) Luckily both my DH & I were both in agreement on this one. But after that she was always a bit off with me.

Jesus what are you all keeping in your houses that you're so worried about friends seeing??? I couldn't give a fig if good friends went through every drawer, laundry basket and sex dungeon cupboard in my place as long as they didn't leave it a mess.
You're not comfortable with them staying so say no. End of.

With us it wasn't the judgment but the worry if she had a fall, was ill or the dogs messed the house.

I live in Spain with pets and whenever I go away I ask friends and family who wants to house sit and look after the animals. That way the house gets looked after too and I don’t have to pay a cat sitter. If they want to look through my drawers they can knock themselves out. Nothing interesting in any of them!

I wouldn’t be keen on friends with small children staying though as they may damage something which would be awkward.

Definitely not....
Don't want anyone else sleeping in my bed....

I think that’s different, because it’s a two way reciprocal agreement. Firstly, you a sad led them, they fucn’t invite themselves, and secondly you’re both benefitting from the arrangement. They get free accomodation, and you’re getting your pets looked after.

I wouldn't ask, but I'd hope you'd offer!

Hell no. Entitled CFs. That is something someone OFFERS and usually only to family, not something a true friend would ever consider asking for.

Definitely not, I think that’s really intrusive and very rude of them to hint at this.

I have been waiting for my SIL to do this to us - DH would be cool about it, but I wouldn’t. I can imagine us having to cancel or rearrange a holiday just to block such a request.

It can lead to so many problems. I stayed in my brother’s house years ago when he was away (had small children and no money, seemed like a good idea at the time). My daughter broke a sculpture, he demanded we pay for it and we didn’t speak for ages! (We’d also fed his designer cats, cleaned the place from top to bottom and filled his fridge for when he got back). Not worth the potential fallout

Were you not going to pay for the breakage if he hasn’t “demanded” it then?!

@Firstchoice333 are you not returning to your own thread?

If you do it once it will set a precedent. I wouldn’t dream of imposing on someone like that but I know others that would. I’m happy not asking or having others stay . Hosting is enough but having forced house guests is grim . A neighbour had people they had met on holiday just turn up , polite you must stay so they did . Too polite to say no . Just a straight no from me .

Let BIL stay at our house with his DD whilst we were away on holiday

He invited his other grown up child and her 3 children without our knowledge
House a mess smart TV broken ( solid rubber outdoor ball next to it )
Never again .
YANBU

Fucking hell! Did they pay for a new tv?

No . Denied all knowledge . Absolutely seething

What a wanker! Hope he never set foot in your place again!