AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

Personally I wouldn’t mind at all. But I get that some people would.

I really like all my friends so it's nothing personal but it's just not something I'd be comfortable with. On the other hand I know people who would be absolutely fine with it.

Just different personalities!

Absolutely not! That’s your personal space with all your most personal things in, not a holiday let. Not even for my friend and her dh who I’ve known for over forty years (and they would never ask!).

I think it would be fine if it was your idea and you had offered but seriously cheeky to ask and that would make it a no from me.

If you don't feel comfortable, that's fine, don't do it. I understand you might feel awkward because they've asked but you're allowed to feel uncomfortable with the idea and say no.

It wouldn't bother me though. I've offered my house up to people before when I've been away. I'd rather my friends/family save money and there's someone there to put bins out/water planets/keep an eye on house.

To everyone worried about snooping, why? Are you snoopers? I wouldn't snoop if I was a guest in someone's house so assume that most other people wouldn't either.

I’m confused … they’re good friends, yet you describe strangers in my pants drawer 😵‍💫😵‍💫

I used to have my late husband's best friend staying over at mine while cat sitting, when I buggered off to the Lake District for headspace, and didn't bat an eyelid. However, cat has since died and now wouldn't dream of having any one staying when not at home myself. Not running an Air BNB...

Big fat no from me

I'm with @NoDuckyDucksGiven , my home is my private space and I'd ignore any hints Op. If they break something your house insurance doesn't cover guests so would your DH trust them to pay for the damages?

It’s called different strokes for different folks. I personally wouldn’t allow it if I wasn’t there.

You’d also probably get calls, how does this work, we can’t get this to go on etc.

I have no problem with friends crashing at ours. I wouldn't want someone inviting themselves to stay while I was on holiday. There's a difference.

I wouldn't ask probably, but I'd have no problem with people staying in my house generally- I like having a housesitter there when I'm away, often use trusted housesitters etc and I'd much rather have someone I know than a stranger.

YANBU. I felt just the same when a Singaporean SiL asked to stay for a few days with her teen dds - when we were going to be away. I knew them all, and got on absolutely fine with them, but my heart did sink, and not just because of 3 beds needing to be left ready. SiL had always had live in maids (as do so many in Singapore) so was used to everything being pristine all the time.

So I felt I really had to blitz my not-usually-pristine house before we went away, and TBH I could have done without it.
Dh of course could not see the problem. He didn’t see the need for a blitz - ‘If she doesn’t like it as it is, tough.’

Might add, SiL had once visited with sundry family plus her elderly mother, who spoke very little English. About the first thing SiL said was, ‘Mum says how on earth do you manage without a maid?’ 😂

Yes, I think that’s different. I cat sat at a friend’s house for two weeks when I was single, when they went on honeymoon, but I wouldn’t have asked if I could just stay there while they were away.

(I’m not a cat person so spent most of the time worrying where the cats were 😖).

Very different. Cat sitting saves £££

I don’t think friends house sitting/staying in your house is weird, but I do think they’re cheeky/ballsy to bring it up first without you having offered or suggested.

P.S. And I’m actually someone who dislikes others being in my home even when I’m there 😂 but that’s on me

These sort of posts annoy me to be honest, they aren't CF for suggesting something that a lot of people would be open to, or even happy about.

What is wrong with them 'suggesting' or even 'asking'? They aren't holding you hostage! They are proposing an idea!! You have the freedom of choice.

I personally would feel the same as you, but I wouldn't be offended in the slightest, or call them names if someone floated the idea to me, I'd just say no.

I'm not really arsed about people being in my house but the extra level of stress required to make the house guest ready in the chaos of trying to get packed and out the door on time would just be something I could do without.

No no no. It’s something that can be offered, but you should never presume to ask.

I’d be ok with it only if they are very good friends (best man, godparents, like family). Otherwise, it is CAF!!

I’ve done this before OP! I have good friends in London and twice while they’ve been away we’ve stayed there as a free base, and watered their plants/looked after their dog. They’re very good friends of ours though, and have offered this to us.

casually hinted

would love to know the details of this.

As long as they watered my plants I'd be fine with this, they could also look after the cat. I like to have someone in the house, less likely to get burgled. They're not strangers.

It would depend who it is, and I woukdnt mind. Saves a house sitter, my only issue is I like coming back to a clean house (and I don't want to feel I have to leave it clean for someone else, even though I do tend to clean before we go on holiday)

Did you not pay for it?!