AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

SO TRUE!!! I’d not let my mother stay as she’d spend every second snooping, totally guaranteed. Then think nothing of bringing it up in conversation. ‘I had no idea you had such a big mortgage’, etc.

With some friends I'd be glad because the cats like a bit of human company. Others I wouldn't want in the house on their own, even to please the pets. If your gut says no, say no.

No way - it’s always the DH that offers isn’t it? Because on top of all the packing and washing for a holiday you then need to get your house spotless. Who would be the one changing all the bedding on the day of departure at like 5 am? The DH? I doubt it. Then all the washing of bedding and making beds when you get back and are tired after travelling. Ughh.

Way to add a whole load of stress on to your holiday departure..

Every policy wording is different but there are some general principles that tend to apply to domestic home insurance in the UK. There are also rules about including unfair terms and unfairly denying claims which come from a piece of legislation called the Insurance Act 2015. Long story short, if you are in the UK I think it highly likely that your husband misunderstood your policy wording. Buildings insurance is not generally invalidated by allowing someone else to stay in your home with your permission for a short period.

(I am an insurance lawyer).

It’s free obviously. Those of us who would be happy to do it aren’t going to count the cost of the gas and electricity.

Coming back to read this thread later as I am considering offering my house to my American cousin and her family next summer when we're away.

We're very close and grew up together so definitely close family.

It was actually DH's idea, he knows they would reciprocate and they're very generous and would be respectful. We live in London near the tube and our house is spacious but a bit scruffy so there isn't too much to damage.

However I'm placemarking to read the thread for any horror stories.

Lucky you 😁 my son’s long hot showers cost me a small fortune 😭

Well your son wouldn’t be there so it’s likely your bills would be smaller.

We’ve really enjoyed offering our houses to friends to stay in. We usually give them use of our car too while we’re away. We are lucky to live / have lived in some lovely places with nice big houses and it makes us happy to be able to share it especially with friends who couldn’t afford to pay for an equivalent holiday home in a similar city or location. I like sharing things that give pleasure to others!

Another selfish benefit is our house is more secure while we’re away and the garden and small pets are looked after. Plus it’s often reciprocal so we have also stayed in some nice houses and places for free. No horror stories.

I certainly don’t mind someone asking me - and definitely not someone hinting.

I appreciate this is both a cultural and a personal thing to do. I’m just surprised so many people feel that way!

I don’t get the concerns about damage tbh. A good friend would look after your home. Things are just things. My home has always been a gathering place for my kids and their friends.

Carpets can be cleaned, paint can be touched up, etc., nothing inanimate in my life is that precious.

They didn't suggest, they hinted

I would agree to it if it was the kind of friend who would do me a favour back

Same thing pretty much you can vaguely suggest or hint.

It’s not the concerns about damage..it’s the absolute faff of getting the house pristine, freshly washed sheets on all the beds… all on the morning you are going on holiday..!

So leave the bedding folded and let them put their own on?

I don’t! I leave it decent but not pristine. Guests can make up their own beds if I’m short of time. I’m not running a hotel, and they’re close friends! Everyone always does cleaning while they stay, and the house is always as clean to come back to if not cleaner.

Absolutely not.
Complete CF's.
Would turn me off them a bit.

If you're not happy, say no

Ignore the hints

For good friends I’d be absolutely fine with this, but if you’re not that’s fine too. Providing they are good about you saying no I don’t think it’s necessarily cheeky to ask, though it depends very much on the relationship and whether they have form for being takers.

@BunnyLake @Steelworks absolutely agree. It was beneficial to both of us. My point entirely that @Firstchoice333 will have no benefit from CFs wanting her house whilst she's away.

You didn’t speak to your brother for ages because he wanted you to pay for something your family broke, whilst he was giving you free accommodation?

Filling the fridge (which no one asked you to do) doesn’t really have anything to do with it. And why the “designer cat” comment? It seems like you have a chip on your shoulder about him maybe having more money than you? So you thought it was ok to break stuff and not pay. He isn’t the problem in your story; you are.

Hints are dead to me. I have an absolute policy not to acknowledge hints. I’d suggest you do the same. It’s just passive aggressive nonsense and no good comes from it. If they asked outright I’d just say oh no, that wouldn’t work.

I don't care if they look in it, most if us know what medication other people take anyway.

Are you sure about that? Personally my medical details are confidential and I'll choose who i wish to share them with.

Absolutely not. I don't even like guests when I'm home though 😂. The only exception would be our adult DC (as long as it was just them).

No, it’s not something I would do.