AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

I wouldn't give a rats ass if people look inside my bathroom cabinet. It only has the usual crap most people's bathroom cabinets have.

i now take medication for a couple of conditions. It's not in the bathroom cabinet though, it's in a tupperware box in the kitchen. If they had kids with them I'd remind them it's there (but anyone old enough to reach it, should be safe with it anyway) I don't care if they look in it, most if us know what medication other people take anyway.

What's in there you would be bothered by people seeing?

Which rooms? My house is much smaller now than when my cousin & family stayed. If a couple & kids stayed now I'd expect the couple to sleep in my room & the kids in the spare room. If I came home I'd sleep in the lounge. Yes my room has my stuff in it, but so what? They'd have to live out of their bags/suitcases & share hanging space if they need it?! Wouldn't bother me. Like I said, they're welcome to stay, but it's my home, not an empty air bnb/hotel room.

what would you want to be locking away? I'm genuinely interested, I can't think of anything?

Don't FFS me.

yes it's MY personal space & I'm happy to let MY friends/famiily be in it 'unsupervised' 🙄🙄. I don't know what people imagine they have that's so unique/special/secret that they think FRIENDS are going to be 'snooping' to find.

What a bunch of weirdos MN is sometimes! Assuming you like and trust these people, why wouldn’t you offer?

Yes, having suffered from several burglaries and attempts, I am happy for the house to be obviously occupied. Plus I like my friends, that’s why they’re friends.

I don’t even have a bathroom cabinet. Why so snappy?

I wasn't really FFSing you, it was more if a general FFS.

Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even let anyone other than close family borrow my car, let alone my house. If they break or damage anything or run up utility bills guess which sucker is paying for it? It’s weird to ask to stay in someone’s home when they aren’t there, really fucking weird. They weren’t even pretending to come and see you. They are users.

YANBU.

I have offered our house before to people I know might be in need of a holiday or could do with saving the cash, or to a couple of very good friends that we know would repsect the place and treat it like their own and not do anything to upset the neighbours.

But thats on my terms and I would never ask a friend the same and we have lot sof friends in desirable locations. Proper cheeky.

Actually, it’s made me wonder, people who stay at friends houses when it’s empty, are they paying their way or is it a freebie with bills thrown in for an added bonus?

You could say you’re having work done on the property whilst away?
That said, they actually should offer you more than airbnb&b? rather than trying to get it cheap😳.

Tell them you’re listing it on Air BnB

I have been asked twice by different people, but they got the same answer: sorry , that doesn’t work for me.
We all survived, the friendship included

Will they be watering your plants and leaving it at least as clean and tidy as they found it? And contributing to bills? If so would consider.

Depends if they’re actual friends or more aquaintances. I’m currently away for 8 weeks and have a rotation of people staying. I don’t care - I trust them.

Depends if they’re actual friends or more aquaintances. I’m currently away for 8 weeks and have a rotation of people staying. I don’t care - I trust them.

Surely it depends on your relationship? I wouldn't want strangers in my house but my close friends why would I have an issue?

Never would this happen. I would absolutely hate the idea of people roaming around my house while I'm away.

I would only do it if it worked for me. I would let them stay and save them hundreds if they were looking after my dog while we were away and in turn saving me hundreds. But other wise, nope, no no way.

If they were relatives, then yes. But I wouldn't want folk in my house in case they judged me.

God I have relatives that I wouldn't want to stay and who would definitely judge. You can't choose friends but not family!

Personally I wouldn't like it. Having friends to stay when you're in your house is you sharing your home. Friends asking to stay when I'm not there makes me feel like they just see my house as a convenient building if you know what I mean, rather than my home which is precious and personal to me. I'd say no.

I’ve done it a few times, I honestly don’t mind. But you do, so just say no.

Gee yeah, I've actually changed my position on this over the past few years.

We were offered a friend's ski chalet (ground floor apartment) a couple of years back in France. I was actually there with my friend for a few days beforehand for a long weekend, and he had kindly offered the place as I was bringing my partner & 2 kids out for 5 days after my friends had gone home. So I accepted his kind offer.

On the holiday in question , the apartment was broken into with us sleeping there, which was partially my fault as I had stupidly left a sliding door unlocked. Needless to say it ruined our holiday, but it was also very awkward informing my buddy that we had effectively got his place broken into. He was overall fine about it, as there was little damage done, but there was some tbh, but I felt awful & so, I'd really think twice before either borrowing or loaning a place again. I'd sooner stay in an Airbnb tbh. It's just easier in many ways.

P.s. the one exception I think is where you could effectively do swaps e.g. you let them stay at yours sometimes & vice versa. I think with say 2 families in particular that's just nice & smart & saves both significant expense at times.

Well I'd look in most of the drawers. Wouldn't touch anything (mostly). And yes I'd turn your computer on and look at your browsing history. Oh and I'd do one of those inspections like on "Four in a Bed" running my finger along the top of something impossible to reach without a 30 foot step ladder checking for dust and see if there's any random pubic hairs stuck to the underside of your mattress. (I told you she wasn't a natural blonde!!)

A neighbour looked after our pets once years ago when we were away, thought she would be respectful of our property and had known her for a few years prior. We left a clean and spotless house and came back to muddy footprints all over our floors including leading to our bedroom (there was no need for her to go there), drawers clearly rummaged through, dirty finger marks in my Creme de la Mer, bottles and jars moved around on my dressing table. She freely and quite proudly admitted she’d had a “squirt of my perfume” when we got back. Funnily enough she’s never been invited to pet sit for us again…

Of course friends can use my house when I’m not here. Why on earth not? They’re my friends. They know me and I know them.

I can only assume those aghast have a sex dungeon or something. This is one of those threads when you realise there are a lot of very odd people out there.