Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

We're all different I guess. Wine and fizz, it goes without saying that it should be opened for the event.

Spirits and liqueurs? Open bottles is fine, as long as the stuff hasn't been sitting there for months. The 'drinks cabinet' is a convivial, traditional thing. Obviously, if you're bringing it as a hosting gift, then it should be new!

How rude. Who wastes farm shop meat on a BBQ? Did your friends bring a bottle with them, and some meat to cook/ salads/ dessert? Surely they didn't turn up empty handed. Regardless, they would be ex friends for me by now.

Your ‘friend’ doesn't know how to behave.

Whatever her impression was of the food choices, it was way out of line to comment like that when someone extends the kindness of hosting.

They’re trashy and I wouldn’t want them anywhere near me.

Sounds like a good friend’s insufferable wife- she is no friend of mine

Snobby cow! The high end supermarket meat is fine and is gin not gin? I know there are different botanicals etc but does that not vary in the big brands too?
I probably would have bought a flavoured one if yours were all plain, but no biggie if not.

YANBU. I would never, ever dream of commenting to anyone who was generous enough to invite me to their home and host me on where they do their food shop or whether their gin was already open. How incredibly ill mannered of them.

The correct response to this is”oh I’m sorry, let me call you a cab while you gather up your things” 😁

I wouldn’t go to a restaurant that’s £100 per head unless a very special occasion and certainly wouldn’t spend anywhere near that on a bbq.

I’d send them the shittest gin I could find and tell them to shove that up their arse!

They sound extremely ungrateful and ungracious. I really dislike people who are snobby about food. Can't expect her husband to 'touch' gin from Lidl? Good grief. She sounds lovely.

Honestly ignore them, they're damn lucky to be fed

For what it's worth I agree with PP - your friends were ungrateful CFs I wouldn't bother with them on another occasion.

Perhaps you could say that you're having a BBQ, but they wouldn't be interested as you only have Aldi gin (which is perfectly acceptable) & supermarket food so you're not going to insult their tastes & invite them.

I'm of the mind that if someone else is entertaining you , you don't complain and as long as there is food and drink supplied why would where it was bought even come up . She's rude and snobby, she wouldn't be invited again .

They should bring the gin if they want something specific. If I’m cooking I’ll have some alcohol in but I don’t take requests for specific types of alcohol! Either drink the wine I have or bring your own.

Why would you want to be friends with snobby twats

This is my first post but I couldn't just scroll by.

They were totally rude and ungrateful and I know I would have to say something or just not return their calls because I'd be fuming.

I love M&S rhubarb gin. And they are ridiculous and rude. When’s the next one ? 🍴

Thats great, if you genuinely do. But I have a couple of friends who will "only" drink Fever Tree when they are out and readily admit its because they dont want to look like they cant afford or dont appreciate expensive stuff, when they actually prefer the cheaper stuff. One will also drink dry wine even though she prefers sweet because she think it looks more sophisticated. Its ridiculous! The truly sophisticated drink what the hell they like and dont give rats ass what other people think.

I find this hilarious she talks about recycled gin.

She does understand recycled means used again? In my house, recycled gin is what ends up in the toilet having gone through the person’s body.

One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes.

So they made "requests" up front on what you should serve to please them.. and then they turned up with a just a mixer? What cheapskates.
and complained that you didn't purchase an entirely new bottle of gin for the husband? Were they implying that your existing gin was full of germs or something. Who is being "cheap" there?

I can understand preferring different types of wine, but there's less grounds for being pernickety over gin... Its a trendy fad. Of course there are better ones, but not to the same extent as wine ( I'm sure someone will say this is wrong). It's how you serve it.

She is soooooo rude! Is she a school mum? Trying to establish her posh cred?
It does happen, I once had a snobby relative ring me (in advance) and say similar, asking where the food was purchased from. It's sheer snobbery, trying to underline that they have higher standards than you.

She's probably expecting you to re-invite her, just to show her that you've learned your lesson and to acknowledge that she deserves the highest standards and let her know that everything on offer was purchased at Fortnums or boutique butchers and here's a fresh bottle of Bombay Sapphire ... thank you so much for your £2.20 bottle of Fever-Tree tonic. Gah!!! A foodie CF.

Goodness how rude of your friend to comment like that. A bad guest.

Who needs friends like her? What a rude, horrible, woman.

I drink drinks I like, not because I feel I need to impress people. I like Fever Tree because I like the taste and it doesn't contains load of crap. It has nothing to do with impressing other people.

In pubs I drink whatever is available, but not diet tonic which I think tastes awful.

Your friend is very rude