Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

We're gin drinkers. We have a range of gin which we would offer friends. I'd think it was weird for someone to buy one single bottle for the evening. That's for people who have to buy it in.

I've only ever known barbecues to be a BYOB and contribute some food to share kind of affairs, they sound awful.

Open a fresh bottle of Gin???? 😁😁😁 What nonsense.

Had friends round at the weekend, she bought half a bottle of aperol, I had half a bottle here, no point whatsoever buying a "fresh" one.

We lit the BBQ, had burgers, sausages and kebabs, nothing fancy or performative and if that's what your friends are after, they are cheeky fuckers

I think that you should buy a new bottle of the flavoured gin that the H likes and send it to them with a note saying "sorry that I badly hosted the BBQ, that I did not buy suitable food and offered previously opened spirits. Please accept this bottle of gin as an apology and stick it up your arse."

They sound like utter cunts who are no fun to be around, I wouldn't host them again. I cant see why you are friends with them?
I honestly couldn't care less if my friends served me Asda Smart Price, if its served with love and good times are had, that's all that matters!!!

And a couple of empty posh gin bottles for decanting Lidl's finest, we did this many years ago when we were able to buy spirits from the local bodega and decant them into a more respectable bottle, our 'connoiseur' friend never cottoned on!

She's a dick.

Are you sure she doesn't secretly hate you? It is such an unbelievable thing for her to say that I'm wondering if there is some sort of elaborate back story to it? She would never darken my door again.

My uncle is properly wealthy and he loves Aldi and Lidl! He's a fan of a bargain and often sends me photos of good deals they have on 🤣. He would rather die than ask someone where the food they'd provided was from.

We love a BBQ and often host them. Guests tend to either ask what they can bring, turn up with some drinks or make a pudding. Like normal people with nice manners.

She’s rude and a bellend

I find this difficult to believe. If it's true & it was me they treated in such a rude & disrespectful way they would become ex friends.

I think Velmy is the BBQ guest.
Your 'friends' are rude, classless and, if it were me, would have been shown the door, probably after the gin comment, definitely after calling people who'd hosted them stingy.

I mean, obviously you're not going to invite them over again, right?

But why?
If they're a friend they should either not judge, or bring expensive gin for all.

Cheeky feckers

she is not your friend. Do not go to dinner with her again. Do not invite her to your house again. And if you go to hers, go with someone else and go armed with barbed comments.

how truly awful. I’m so sorry.

No, not for buying people 'nice food', for commenting on where your hosts got the food, passing judgement and being ungrateful.

One definition of classless (the one people here are using) is 'boorish; having or showing crudely insensitive or impolite manners'.

How bloody rude, and to ask for a particular flavoured gin in the first place. Are you sure they are friends, and not enemies?!

Spectacularly, jaw-droppingly bad manners. How rude and ungrateful! Don't ever invite them back.

Your hosting sounds just fine. Your 'friend' is rude.
I thought she was quite rude in the messages before she even arrived but the comments about recycling the gin are just weird.

Wow they’re stuck up!
What did they contribute to the evening? Tesco finest and gin is more than good enough!

If they wanted specific drinks they should have brought their own. So rude. That'd be the last time I'd invite them for dinner

Your friends sound insufferable. If it makes you feel better, when I host a bbq that just means we have everyone round and cook the food. We will have food and drink in but I’d expect everyone attending to contribute (I’ve never asked, people never come empty handed), particularly the alcohol, there’s no way I’d be providing specific alcohol requests! I’d just have a few crates, a box of wine and some spirits and soft drinks, and the basics for food - tonnes of bread, salad, whatever meat is on offer in the supermarket and loads of veggie options. BBQs to us and our friends/family has always been more of a communal activity, unlike a dinner party where everything is provided by the host.

I wouldn't have a pair of dicks like that in my house again.

@Velmyyou sound insufferable
😣

And Lidl alcohol often has better reviews than branded anyway!

It was rude to request what drinks they wanted, they should of brought their own , I agree with everyone else we take food and drinks and treats for the kids if we're close and haven't seen them for sometime.

What is recycled gin? Amazing concept for an open bottle.

Really poor manners and I couldn’t be sociable with them any longer. I regret not pulling back with similar friends like this and multiple cf behaviour. No need for a big argument either: people like this cannot see what they do is wrong.