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Original poster

Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

474 replies

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

OP posts:
Alliod40 · 14/07/2025 14:15

What sort of restaurants do you go to when you normally go out ? How long have you been friends ? Did you not know they were snobs ? But I'd be cutting contact for sure after that x

Themother1969 · 14/07/2025 14:18

You extended an offer of a casual gathering and it was probably a lovely little spread, ditch them. She is probably talking about you behind your back anyway. If she wanted what she and her husband wanted, the She should have hosted it. Ingratitude

liamharha · 14/07/2025 14:18

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

Tell them to f- off,,,just rude and not friends

Nanatobethatsme46 · 14/07/2025 14:19

Cheeky twats! They sound like they think they are something else in the words of david walliams
Honestly your bbq sounds amazing!!you were a lovely attentive host and went out of your way to get what they asked for
Id be happy with a pre opened bottle of gin and lidl and aldi gin is.delicious
Delete these idiots for your life and find better friends , ones who will appreciate you!

Happyher · 14/07/2025 14:21

People with class (whatever their income) would never be so rude and would never make derogatory comments like this. Did they bring anything- such as a bottle of gin? They wouldn’t last 2 minutes in the company of the people they aspire to be

FreddysFingers · 14/07/2025 14:22

No way is that stingy in any way, shape or form!

The fact you've laid on food and drink should be enough - absolute cheeky fuckery to expect the best of the best, and anyway, Tesco Finest is hardly a budget option!

I wouldn't invite them round again OP.

WaterOfADucksBack · 14/07/2025 14:25

Wow, and what was wrong with them bringing drinks like any normal person when invited somewhere.
I agree with the person who said "You need nicer friends".
Sorry you feel crap. This isn't about you and very much about the lady guest.

FreddysFingers · 14/07/2025 14:25

spoonbillstretford · 14/07/2025 10:44

And re the gin, if anything they should be buying you a nice bottle to thank you for hosting.

I also second this!

nodramamama · 14/07/2025 14:38

Ask the classic 'did you intend to be so rude?'
Definitely upgrade your friends

ChristmasCwtch · 14/07/2025 14:41

She sounds like a knob.

Avoid!!

Americano75 · 14/07/2025 14:42

How bloody outrageously rude! Not only could they forget any further invitations they could forget the friendship too.

Wolfpinkola · 14/07/2025 14:43

Rude to the point of embarrassing.
they sound awful Op.

sandwichlover93 · 14/07/2025 14:45

You have a friend problem. Sounds like a lovely evening.

Opplesandbononos · 14/07/2025 14:47

I went to Tesco today, £70 on 2 bags of shopping. Tesco is not a cheap option

Colinfromaccounts · 14/07/2025 14:47

Who doesn't bring their own booze and meat to a bbq?

Poodlelove · 14/07/2025 14:54

I would email / message her , that you will not be doing it again , how rude , I expect it cost you quite a bit too.
What did they bring ?

Oldglasses · 14/07/2025 14:58

I wouldn't be inviting them again - how rude of them.

CoffeeCantata · 14/07/2025 15:01

This woman sounds socially insecure. The poshest people I know not only would serve very much what you did but wouldn’t dream of commenting in this way.

Yes, she was extremely rude and I would not have her back.

Silly nouveau twit.

Figgygal · 14/07/2025 15:06

Awful awful behaviour
Do you need to stay friends with them?

HangingOver · 14/07/2025 15:15

I don't eat meat and I still can't afford to "raid a farm shop".

Friends who eat at mine get a hug, a bowl of spicy noodles, and good chats.

Frugalgal · 14/07/2025 15:17

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

Extremely unmannerly and ungracious. In your place I'd have said re the flavoured gin 'oh we have plenty of gin but if you want to bring a bottle of the flavoured one, feel free'.

I don't know about LIDL gin but ALDI's win top prizes so...

These are the sort of pretentious idiots who wouldn't have a clue that they were drinking cheapo own brand out of a fancier bottle.

I would respond to any and all comments super- graciously with 'oh you are so welcome, it was a pleasure, it's so lovely treating friends'.

Don't invite them again.

Loveshark25 · 14/07/2025 15:22

Blinkin cheek!!..who the hell she think she is !!...def off christmas card list..how rude can you get ..never be invited back 😠

sugarrosepetal · 14/07/2025 15:25

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

What a rude, condescending bitch. Before you host them again OP, buy a load of gingham wax paper and gather a few empty named bottles of plonk that she/they approve of. Buy some decent cuts of meat from Aldi or wherever, wrap them in the wax paper and fill the empty bottles with the cheaper version. Pass it off as having come from the farm and m&s (or wherever the plonk has supposedly been acquired), If only for the shits and giggles. I bet she doesn't notice the difference.

YB1985 · 14/07/2025 15:40

firstly... tescos finest stuff isn't that cheap.
secondly, why didn't they bring their own gin?

definitely rude..wouldn't be getting invited again

Maria1982 · 14/07/2025 15:41

Carnation25 · 13/07/2025 20:51

You need nicer friends.

First reply nails it!

plus I see in your update that their only contribution was some mixer ?? That is rude and stingy of them!! If I was invited to a BBQ I would ask what I can bring, and if host said ‘oh don’t worry’ I would still bring either a dessert or some alcoholic drinks!

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