Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

Recycling gin? How the heck is that recycling, it's as stupid as the stories about Kate Middleton recycling a dress (ie wearing something again she already owns)

What a bunch of obnoxious snobs.

You need better friends.

Lidl gin is horrible. It’s like the unbranded stuff you get in cheap all inclusive hotels.

Your friends are rude dicks. Who cares where the food comes from so long as it tastes nice? Hyacinth Bouquet springs to mind. Snobby but no class at all.

They sound incredibly rude. They called you stingy when they put in their drinks orders (like you are a bar?) and expected you to buy a new bottle, rather than bringing drinks themselves? If I understand correctly they only brought mixers (the cheap bit!). It's not you who is stingy..

I think I would have laughed in her face when she said she couldn't expect him to drink something from Lidl, sounds like a comedy caricature!

And the food sounds perfectly normal and what I would expect. Sounds like an evening I'd love to be invited to. It's spending time with friends not Come Dine with Me or MasterChef.

If it was just the budget option comment I would think it was just a case of thinking aloud/ being a bit tactless, but with the gin comments as well they are clearly rude, snobbish and entitled.

She sounds like an utter cow.

You don’t buy new bottles of spirits just for 1 occasion. Maybe if you don’t have the type of spirit someone preferred, you might. But if you already have the right type, you use what you have.

And there’s nothing wrong with any kind of decent food that matches your budget.

Next time, ask if they would prefer you don’t have enough petrol to get to work next week so they can eat farm shop food.

OP are you going to remain ' friends' with these people? I'd be backing away slowly from the friendship and definitely not inviting them round again!

No friends would be better than these ones.

Your 'friend' sounds desperate to be better than others, but unfortunately for her she has zero class.

Your friends seem to think they were customers of a gastropub rather than dining in your back garden.

Anyone cooking for someone else is a generous gesture of time and effort. I might ask where the food comes from if I enjoyed it as I'd like to get it for myself! But not to look down on a friend. Who does that?

They sound like frenemies.

And re the gin, if anything they should be buying you a nice bottle to thank you for hosting.

This. She sounds like an utter dick and it'd be her last invite as she wouldn't be getting another one.

First post gets it..

I’m with the others that suggest getting nicer friends!
We regularly host bbqs for friends as well as eating out (not at places costing £100 a head).
We pop on chicken pieces, burgers, sausages, corn on the cobs, sweet peppers and big field mushrooms. Brought from shock horror Aldi finest range 😂
We then chuck in some garlic bread have a range of sides like coleslaw and a large salad with olives etc.
It’s chucked on a large table at the back of the garden, along with any booze that we happen to have in the house, soft drinks and ketchup/mayo and everyone digs in and helps themselves.
The friends coming usually turn up with puddings (supermarket brought not fancy homemade creations) a bottle of wine or their tipple of choice if it’s something I’m not likely to have.
People love to come and haven’t made excuses to dodge them despite my dubious playlist of country music so I suspect like most normal people, they come for the company of their friends rather than gourmet food from farm shops.

You were normal. Your friend is a snob and extremely rude.

And silly, too. Spirits last forever and get drunk slowly. They can hang around for years. I doubt her husband was planning on sinking a whole bottle of gin in one evening, so it would be pointless buying a fresh bottle and then having that sit around in your cupboard for months.

Really cheeky of her to even specify a type of gin anyway. You drink what you'/re given at someone else's house. If his taste was that particular, he should have brought his own drink.

Awful behaviour all round.

Well maybe next time you invite them for a bbq they'd like a massive bucket of fuck off with their food.

Ungrateful twats.

Should have told Hyacinth that she can host the BBQ next time then.

Yes! My DH’s mate is a Master of Wine and is always recommending bottles from Aldi and Lidl!

The only issue I see is that you need to choose nicer people as your friends.

A lot of their gin is actually made at the Glasgow distillery. An award winning producer of gin.

They are so very rude ! If you want expensive things like a certain gin you bring it yourselves . And commenting about where the food comes from is just so tacky . People need to be polite and grateful to kind friends who are hosting them

You don't need new gin you need new friends.

Horrible people....not friends...say goodbye

Your so called friends sound horrible. I would tell them how out of order they have been. If they don't accept this I would be their friends any longer