Feel uneasy with my partner’s suggestions on splitting food/toiletries costs

[Amber991]

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

This is not a healthy way to function. I would however find it hard to resist being as petty and looking at portion sizes, number of drinks, length of showers, size and member of towels used, amount of dirt on clothing, housework, cooking and chores, admin undertaken and calculating a cost to that.

Omg what an utter price. Leave right now.

If you were my daughter I would be helping you pack

I would want to move back out.

Noooooo. This is wholly unattractive.

Personally I think it’s really OTT but I know I do have a friend who does this with her partner. Not quite down to the toilet roll but I know they go item by item on the shopping receipt and work it out that way rather than just splitting it- it works for them so none of my business but it just doesn’t feel like much of a relationship to me.

The only time I could sort of see where splitting like this would make sense is if you had one person eating a full English for breakfast & steak for dinner every day while the other person is having a slice of toast for breakfast & jacket potato for dinner. Or if one was a much bigger eater and so was eating 90% of the biscuits/crisps/sweets every week then I can see where it would be more fair for that person to pay a bigger % of the cost but if we’re literally talking about an extra 1 pack of crisps that must genuinely be about 20p extra of a multipack it feels really petty.

How is he when it comes to squaring equal orgasms?

I'm not sure any student house sharers would even do this, let alone a couple who are supposed to be sharing a life...how can you possibly have a future together when he won't share a few sheets of loo roll??

What happens when you go out to eat for dinner, is the bill split 50)50 or does he calculate what you have eaten?

Such an unattractive personality trait and absolutely not someone who would be easy to live with.

My thoughts exactly.

Leave now. That’s not a partner that’s a limited company

Tell him how stupid he is being and you are not doing it. Is he controlling in any other way.

This would be a deal breaker and id move out.

If he’s like this already, I dread to think what he’d be like in 6+ months time.

I’ve literally never heard of a man ever doing this and still getting laid.

Oh wow! This is unhinged behaviour. Do not have kids with this man and certainly do not make yourself financially dependent on him. Imagine being on maternity leave, he’ll make
you beg for money for food. Get out while you can.

Run for the hills, this is NOT normal behaviour!

This is it, why do so many horrible men still manage to get laid? Women, I beg of you, stop rewarding terrible men with sex!

I couldn’t live like that.

Do not procreate with this Man

Get out now.

It will only get worse.

He's basically counting the sheets of loo roll.

My attraction to him would be gone instantly. How fucking idiotic.

Got me thinking here...

I reckon my DH owes me a fortune in toilet rolls...

Exactly! How?

Move out and tell him why - up to him if he wants to change but I wouldn’t put up with that

Can you really live life like this? With someone who keeps a close eye and holds you accountable for every item, gram, packet, product etc of anything that you use?

Its's worrying and controlling. It can only get worse.

You need to put a stop to this, or end the relationship. It’s no way to live.

From a purely logical point of view, doesn’t he eat more than you anyway? I live with essentially three men (DH plus two teenagers) and I reckon they eat about 30% more than me at every meal… and I have a healthy appetite.

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