Feel uneasy with my partner’s suggestions on splitting food/toiletries costs

[Amber991]

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

Run !! This is mad way to live and so so boring. Who has time to mark supermarket shop line by line

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Does this weighting of the bill split ever work in your favour rather than his - e.g if he has a headache will he acknowledge that he's been using more paracetamol than you; if he has left overs does he charge himself more?

Just ,eave, he’s a disgusting penny pinching miser. Leave him be to count his pennies by himself. That cheap shit trait is probably one of the worst. I can’t believe he actually started to count the toilet paper. He’s a troll. Get out.

He sounds a boring miserable miser. Not how I would want to live my life and depressing that he considers focussing on this a constructive use of his time. I doubt he’ll change and it’ll only get worse if you get pregnant or are ever in a situation where you need to depend on him. Not a keeper.

Dump him and text his parents that you've exited the relationship because he's charging you for the number of loo rolls you use. Grass him up before he tells people a different version of the story, arseholes like him usually do.

I'd flat out tell him you will not put up with such controlling, mean behaviour and are putting him on notice that your relationship will end if it doesn't stop immediately.

Gosh no, that’s not a partnership. Loo roll?? I think you should speak directly to him about how you feel. If he doesn’t get it, then move on. This is minimal level stuff and I don’t think you should have to argue/negotiate. Don’t waste your time.

This this this. Very alarming behaviour OP.

Run for the hills!! I would be so tempted to decorate his front door with all the loo rolls.

I suggest you move out. This is completely mad!

This is no way to live! How can you even imagine that you have a future with this weirdo?

If this is new, does he think you're wasteful?

The good thing is you've asked early on in the relationship as opposed to 20 years, unmarried with kids.

Have a chat with him and make sure you're aligned financially.

What happens when you have kids, on maternity leave, holidays etc?

Does he treat you to dinners, gifts or such?

How long have you been together before moving in?

He’s stingy as hell. And he won’t change. Run!

Totally agree with al those who are saying you need to leave this relationship now.

But also, have you not questioned this yourself OP at the time he says it? How is your reaction not just immediately WTF and tell him he’s being a nasty controlling right fisted twat? I’m genuinely a bit worried you have to even ask about this behaviour and appear to have accepted it up until now.

Throw this one back. He's not a keeper.

It’s hard to believe tbh . No way would I live like
that .

RUN

He's completely insane, and will make your life hellish. At some point in the future you will realise that you're living in an absolutely intolerable situation, so you might as well split up now.

What has happened to you that you are even entertaining this? Hard, hard no. This is appalling behaviour from him.

I remember being at a work friends house and her making us a drink of orange. Her husband came in and started having a go at her for wasting the cordial by putting too much in the glasses. Maybe she was splashing out a millimetre or two having a guest round

I tried telling her this wasn’t normal behaviour but she wasn’t having any of it. Please din't be this poor woman in your own house

Meanness is so unattractive and I just could not be with a man like this under any circumstances.

Bring back the laughing emoji. Love it😂. Seriously OP at least he showed you who he is early-ish on. Don't waste any more time on this man and run far and fast. Not sure if want kids or not but get back out there asap and leave this loser. Who counts toilet rolls and packets of crisps eaten?! Was he like this when you were dating? Or suddenly switched since moving in. The red flags must have been there.

I'm all for paying your own way, but he is being completely ridiculous. Tell your family and friends irl and see what they say!

Jesus most people are more generous to complete strangers than your partner is to you! What a weird man.

I often think I’ve read it all on here, but being charged for using extra toilet paper!!
It’s crazy, controlling, stingy, madness, I’d run a mile as fast as you can OP