Page 20 | Dd(10) uninvited from party

Hulabalu · 15/07/2025 05:07

I think if you want to fix things, you need to speak to teacher and other girls mum and ask that bully apologises to DD.

7yo7yo · 15/07/2025 05:32

Good for you op.
bullies and their parents should be taught a lesson.
Loving all the do gooders who put their kids through shit teaching them to be the better person 🙄

TheaBrandt1 · 15/07/2025 05:57

Really don’t understand where this masochistic doormat “we go high” wet parenting style has come from? Like hell would I invite that kid to my dds house and give her a fun time after how she behaved! Any mother that would do so is frankly weird. .

Appeasement never works anyway look at Neville Chamberlain! Have a great party on a different date and obviously don’t ask bully kid. Let her learn that if you live by the sword you die by the sword.

ALPS100 · 15/07/2025 08:21

TheaBrandt1 · 15/07/2025 05:57

Really don’t understand where this masochistic doormat “we go high” wet parenting style has come from? Like hell would I invite that kid to my dds house and give her a fun time after how she behaved! Any mother that would do so is frankly weird. .

Appeasement never works anyway look at Neville Chamberlain! Have a great party on a different date and obviously don’t ask bully kid. Let her learn that if you live by the sword you die by the sword.

100% agree.

All it does is let bullies think they can treat people awfully, and STILL get an invite to a party 🤔enabling at its finest

TheaBrandt1 · 15/07/2025 08:50

Also neither of mine are still friends with any of their primary school friends they got to secondary and massively upgraded - sure your girl will too so I wouldn’t worry about repercussions.

ThePinkOtter · 15/07/2025 08:57

OP, I think you should go ahead and plan a lovely leavers party for your DD and any friend she wants to invite.

You are teaching your daughter that she doesn’t need to sit and mope on her own when she is bullied and excluded, I wish my mother had done something similar for me when I was little, honestly.

If the other mother had been kinder and more mature, it would never have been a thought in your head.

TheaBrandt1 · 15/07/2025 09:24

My life’s motto when excluded or treated badly is then to do something or form a group even better than the group / thing I am excluded from! Has always worked well. Success in the best revenge.

Tinatubby73 · 15/07/2025 09:48

Another vote.absolutely do it!!

Original poster

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 10:10

TheaBrandt1 · 15/07/2025 05:57

Really don’t understand where this masochistic doormat “we go high” wet parenting style has come from? Like hell would I invite that kid to my dds house and give her a fun time after how she behaved! Any mother that would do so is frankly weird. .

Appeasement never works anyway look at Neville Chamberlain! Have a great party on a different date and obviously don’t ask bully kid. Let her learn that if you live by the sword you die by the sword.

It’s very strange. I can only think they are the parents of unpleasant bullies who they don’t want to face any consequences for their actions.

Anyway this girl has made it very clear she doesn’t like dd anymore, she doesn’t want her in her house. So why would she be upset about not being invited to our house? If she doesn’t like her then she will be happy and it wouldn’t be a fun time to hang out with her.

OP posts:

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 15/07/2025 10:16

I'm petty af so I love this. I think you're taking the high road by not scheduling it the same day tbh. Let us know how it goes!

Bushmillsbabe · 15/07/2025 11:25

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 00:18

Being a bully back, isn't a good thing to teach your kids 😑

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This isn't being a bully back, its making choices to protect OP's daughters mental health. I can't see where OP's daughter has been hitting or saying unkind things to this girl. She had just made a choice to not invite someone who had been mean to her to her party, she has set a boundary. As adults, we don't by choice invite people to our home who are unkind to us, why should children be any different. There seems to be this thing where children can hit others, break their things, call them names and the victim just has to 'be kind' 'be the bigger person'.

In life you reap what you sow. I always tell my girls be kind to everyone until they show you their true colours, and then pick the ones who build you up and leave behind the ones who pull you down. And if someone changes forgive them, but don't forget. One of my daughters friends turned on her and was pretty mean, so my daughter left her alone and played with others. This girl after a few weeks came and apologised with a card saying sorry. Previously my daughter would have said 'that's ok', but she has learnt boundaries and her response was 'thanks for apologising, you really upset me, we can be friends but don't do it again'.

Bushmillsbabe · 15/07/2025 11:41

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 10:10

It’s very strange. I can only think they are the parents of unpleasant bullies who they don’t want to face any consequences for their actions.

Anyway this girl has made it very clear she doesn’t like dd anymore, she doesn’t want her in her house. So why would she be upset about not being invited to our house? If she doesn’t like her then she will be happy and it wouldn’t be a fun time to hang out with her.

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Absolutely. If this girl came and sincerely apologised to your DD without prompting, re invited her etc then I might consider inviting her your DD wanted to, but if not it would be a hard no from me.

It's this 'go high' rubbish which seems to be an open door for women to be treated like doormats. No wonder there are so many threads on here 'my husband does nothing around the house and I'm exhausted'. We need to teach our girls to know their worth, have boundaries to protect themselves, and to only accept people into their inner circle who treat them with kindness and respect.

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 11:53

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 10:10

It’s very strange. I can only think they are the parents of unpleasant bullies who they don’t want to face any consequences for their actions.

Anyway this girl has made it very clear she doesn’t like dd anymore, she doesn’t want her in her house. So why would she be upset about not being invited to our house? If she doesn’t like her then she will be happy and it wouldn’t be a fun time to hang out with her.

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Wow, pulling at straws now?! So people who would rather take the high road are now parents of bullies themselves? Sheesh. I don't understand that logic, but people really can justify anything, as this thread shows.

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 11:54

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 15/07/2025 10:16

I'm petty af so I love this. I think you're taking the high road by not scheduling it the same day tbh. Let us know how it goes!

At least you own it 😁👏

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 11:59

Bushmillsbabe · 15/07/2025 11:41

Absolutely. If this girl came and sincerely apologised to your DD without prompting, re invited her etc then I might consider inviting her your DD wanted to, but if not it would be a hard no from me.

It's this 'go high' rubbish which seems to be an open door for women to be treated like doormats. No wonder there are so many threads on here 'my husband does nothing around the house and I'm exhausted'. We need to teach our girls to know their worth, have boundaries to protect themselves, and to only accept people into their inner circle who treat them with kindness and respect.

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The "go high" rubbish was Michelle Obamas response to morons like Trump. Spoiler alert, in this scenario, you are Trump. I'd rather be classy like Michelle 🤷🏼‍♀️ Let that sit with you for awhile, truly think about it rather than reacting. Who do you think is the better parent and who do you think has the better kids 😑

JSMill · 15/07/2025 12:03

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 10:10

It’s very strange. I can only think they are the parents of unpleasant bullies who they don’t want to face any consequences for their actions.

Anyway this girl has made it very clear she doesn’t like dd anymore, she doesn’t want her in her house. So why would she be upset about not being invited to our house? If she doesn’t like her then she will be happy and it wouldn’t be a fun time to hang out with her.

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You are doing the right thing! Hope your dd has a fabulous time!

Original poster

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 12:03

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 11:53

Wow, pulling at straws now?! So people who would rather take the high road are now parents of bullies themselves? Sheesh. I don't understand that logic, but people really can justify anything, as this thread shows.

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Whats the high road? Not letting my daughter have a party to celebrate with her friends because she was uninvited and bullied because a boy said he fancied her or making her invite the girl whose bullied her to her house and party?

Neither of them feel very ‘high’ to me, both would just be pushing my dd down lower.

OP posts:

dogcatkitten · 15/07/2025 12:03

A party sounds like a good idea if your DD can't go to the other one why not have one for her and her friends. I wouldn't think of it as some sort of revenge just letting your DD have access to a party with her friends. Hope it's great.

Original poster

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 12:08

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 11:59

The "go high" rubbish was Michelle Obamas response to morons like Trump. Spoiler alert, in this scenario, you are Trump. I'd rather be classy like Michelle 🤷🏼‍♀️ Let that sit with you for awhile, truly think about it rather than reacting. Who do you think is the better parent and who do you think has the better kids 😑

Edited

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What are you on about? Since when has Michelle Obama been forced to invite trump to parties with her friends at her house? Or avoided having a party all together because trump was already having one that he invited and uninvited her from?

OP posts:

T1Dmama · 15/07/2025 12:12

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 18:56

Dd (10) was invited to a girl in her classes leavers party after their last day. She’s not best friends with this girl, just friends but she was excited. All the girls invited( only 8 in total ) some of the boys.

She has now been uninvited because the boy the girl fancies told his friends he fancies dd. Dd doesn’t even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god) But the girl doesn’t want dd at her party because he will be there. Dd has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school.

Her mums answer when I queried was just sorry but you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys.

I would be unreasonable to let dd have her own party here wouldnt I? Dds best friends mum is encouraging me to. We have more room and a swimming pool and I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people.
What if we have it this weekend, (they breakup Tuesday after) inviting the other girls but obviously not the one who’s been mean to her? I

DO IT!!! as long as it’s not the same day shes
habing her party
theres no issue!!

TheaBrandt1 · 15/07/2025 12:14

Yeah and look who is in power now - the “going high” hasn’t worked out so well for them has it?

ellie09 · 15/07/2025 12:15

Contrary to some peoples opinions, I think that having a party for your DD is a good idea.

Have her friends together in the summer before the new school term, throw a great party and ensure that she is on the best footing as possible with her peers. Children are influential and having the other girl talk badly and bully your child, may worsen things for DD once schools are back.

I also see nothing wrong with excluding the bully - as adults, we wouldnt invite someone who has horrible to us, to our parties, so its no different in this case.

T1Dmama · 15/07/2025 12:16

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:10

Oh wow, I was expecting it to be a resounding no.

I really really want to, I don’t want dd to be upset and excluded but I don’t know if I can let her be the mean girl excluding someone else and making them upset

Your daughter isn’t being mean though?!…. She’s not inviting someone who has called her names and bullied her!…. You’re teaching her not to put up with bullies

Isitreallysohard · 15/07/2025 12:17

freddiewini · 15/07/2025 12:08

What are you on about? Since when has Michelle Obama been forced to invite trump to parties with her friends at her house? Or avoided having a party all together because trump was already having one that he invited and uninvited her from?

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You and others didn't seem to understand what taking the higher road meant, I was referring to the original context of the whole "when they go low, we go high" origins. HTH.

T1Dmama · 15/07/2025 12:19

PinkGlitterNails · 13/07/2025 19:15

I was going to say do it but actually, it’s teaching your DD to be a mean girl and exclude someone. Have the party and invite the other girl, then you have the moral high ground. She/her mother can choose whether or not she attends.

What is making your daughter invite her bully teaching her? To be a doormat?!