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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Muslim women who dress modestly...

596 replies

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 18:49

If you're at the beach and you want to paddle in the sea, are you able to roll up your trousers? Genuinely wondering as I saw a muslim family on the beach today having great fun. The kids were paddling in the sea. The women weren't but this question sprung in my head.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Obeseandashamed · 12/07/2025 20:19

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:17

Thank you. I feel it's good to be curious about other cultures. I loved RE at school and learning about Islam and it's something that I love learning about even now.

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It’s healthy to ask questions and your question was far from offensive! A lack of curiosity can often lead to ignorance so please continue to ask!

Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:21

TheHazelCritic · 12/07/2025 19:58

I am a one and would paddle without rolling my clothes up, if I am prepared I'll wear swimming leggings under my abaya, lift the abaya and let the leggings wet.
Many burkini aren't modest enough for me but I found one I am happier with from abroad.
They now make abayas in swimming material.
If women want to swim they will, it isn't like the husband is forcing them not to. People must think the same when they see my husband and kids swimming whilst I look on, the reason is that I hate swimming and much prefer relaxing on the beach. I'll get my feet wet if it's hot 💁
The narrative of big bad Muslim husband is not often the case

Thank you for sharing your own experience. I really appreciate it.

I'd love some swimming leggings. I'm olive skinned but burn and itch like mad before I tan!

OP posts:
Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:23

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:18

Eh?
It's really none of anyone else's business how or why another person swims/paddles or not. Muslims are individuals, just like non-muslims.
Minding your own business isn't remotely close to being a problem.

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I wasn't being nosy. I was curious about people who do things differently to me and the people I know. Knowing these things makes my world a brighter place. I hope you never stave your kids curiosity or they'll lead a very dull life.

You're getting offended on behalf of Muslim women when there are two on here who have very kindly shared their own experiences.

We should ask questions about other faiths and cultures. It's interesting to learn about how the people of our world live their lives.

OP posts:
Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:26

Obeseandashamed · 12/07/2025 20:18

This! I’m a muslim woman and up until a month ago, I’d wear bikinis and swimsuits on holiday (despite not having the body for it 😜). Recently I’ve had a change of heart and mindset so have decided to wear hijab albeit not in a very conservative way as I wear it as a turban or loosely. I’ve also starting covering my body more so no longer wear dresses with my legs out or sleeveless tops. Not sure what I’d do on a beach as I’ve not been to the beach since I started dressing this way but I think would probably roll my trousers up a little or just let them get wet and then change into spare clothing. It all comes down to personal choice though as it comes down to what you feel comfortable with and how practicing you are in that aspect of your life.

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Thank you so much for sharing 😊 I neither have the body for swimsuits, but I'm older now and care less what people think of me 😂

OP posts:
Dogaredabomb · 12/07/2025 20:29

ChocolateCinderToffee · 12/07/2025 19:44

I used to have a Muslim landlady. She told me that she would go in the sea fully clothed (and presumably change afterwards).

I've seen this in a hot country with a large Muslim population. I thought it looked like desperation but perhaps just different swimming 🤷🏼‍♂️🎉

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:32

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:23

I wasn't being nosy. I was curious about people who do things differently to me and the people I know. Knowing these things makes my world a brighter place. I hope you never stave your kids curiosity or they'll lead a very dull life.

You're getting offended on behalf of Muslim women when there are two on here who have very kindly shared their own experiences.

We should ask questions about other faiths and cultures. It's interesting to learn about how the people of our world live their lives.

Edited
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I'm not offended, I just don't see why it's any of my business - I'd call it being nosey as opposed to being curious.

Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:34

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:32

I'm not offended, I just don't see why it's any of my business - I'd call it being nosey as opposed to being curious.

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If it's none of your business then get off this thread because you dont need to read the loveky replies where people are sharing their experiences and are doing it willingly. You're being a weirdo.

OP posts:
Dogaredabomb · 12/07/2025 20:34

A swimming pool near me has women only evenings when they cover up the windows, would a muslim woman wear less modest swimwear in those circumstances?

PreciousMomentsHun · 12/07/2025 20:34

"Modest" my arse.

Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:36

PreciousMomentsHun · 12/07/2025 20:34

"Modest" my arse.

Huh?

OP posts:
Insertfootnote · 12/07/2025 20:37

Can we stop calling extreme religious clothing 'modest', as if those who don't cover ourselves from head to toe are somehow not 'modest'.

RoyalCorgi · 12/07/2025 20:37

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:18

Eh?
It's really none of anyone else's business how or why another person swims/paddles or not. Muslims are individuals, just like non-muslims.
Minding your own business isn't remotely close to being a problem.

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You know what? I'd much prefer to chat to someone who is curious about other people and their lives. I think people who have no interest in other people's religions, or points of view, or values, are quite extraordinarily boring.

Figfug · 12/07/2025 20:40

Op, it’s not nosey to show an interest and want to learn about religions.

Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:42

Insertfootnote · 12/07/2025 20:37

Can we stop calling extreme religious clothing 'modest', as if those who don't cover ourselves from head to toe are somehow not 'modest'.

I couldn't think of another word.

People are tetchy on here tonight. Too much sun?

OP posts:
Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:43

Figfug · 12/07/2025 20:40

Op, it’s not nosey to show an interest and want to learn about religions.

Thank you @Figfug 😊

OP posts:
YepIChangedMyNameForThis · 12/07/2025 20:44

I also appreciate the question and am in the we can ask questions surely gang.

Like I am now wondering what made the change for @Obeseandashamed to change how you dress? I love hearing people's stories and what makes people tick, I hope it is curiosity not nosiness.

Original poster
TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:46

YepIChangedMyNameForThis · 12/07/2025 20:44

I also appreciate the question and am in the we can ask questions surely gang.

Like I am now wondering what made the change for @Obeseandashamed to change how you dress? I love hearing people's stories and what makes people tick, I hope it is curiosity not nosiness.

I hope our curiosity brings more community cohesion between different faiths and cultures.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/07/2025 20:48

Insertfootnote · 12/07/2025 20:37

Can we stop calling extreme religious clothing 'modest', as if those who don't cover ourselves from head to toe are somehow not 'modest'.

Can we stop calling clothing that doesn't expose as much skin as you would prefer us to see of you 'extreme religious clothing' as if those who prefer to cover themselves are somehow all religious fanatics?

MessageMystery · 12/07/2025 20:49

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 18:49

If you're at the beach and you want to paddle in the sea, are you able to roll up your trousers? Genuinely wondering as I saw a muslim family on the beach today having great fun. The kids were paddling in the sea. The women weren't but this question sprung in my head.

I have seen Muslim ladies completely submerged in the sea fully dressed, it’s good to see everyone can enjoy the beach and the lovely weather no matter their beliefs.

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 12/07/2025 20:50

My Muslim neighbours were off to the beach today, we were chatting out the front as they got the car packed. Three children, two boys and a girl had swim clothes on already, full length swim outfit style. Incidentally exactly what I dress my (non Muslim) child in to protect from the sun.
But this thread got me thinking, her children and my child and so friendly together, play out together etc, her youngest boy particularly (aged 2) always joins me in whatever I'm doing, weeding, or sitting out watching my child bike, and he started to give me a hug to greet me.
Is this frowned upon by the mum and dad do you think? I will ask when I next see them but there's some knowledgeable people on this thread 😊

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:51

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 19:14

You seem to be offended I even asked such a question. Honestly, don't be.

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I'm not and even if I was that would be up to me, not you.

MessageMystery · 12/07/2025 20:52

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 12/07/2025 20:50

My Muslim neighbours were off to the beach today, we were chatting out the front as they got the car packed. Three children, two boys and a girl had swim clothes on already, full length swim outfit style. Incidentally exactly what I dress my (non Muslim) child in to protect from the sun.
But this thread got me thinking, her children and my child and so friendly together, play out together etc, her youngest boy particularly (aged 2) always joins me in whatever I'm doing, weeding, or sitting out watching my child bike, and he started to give me a hug to greet me.
Is this frowned upon by the mum and dad do you think? I will ask when I next see them but there's some knowledgeable people on this thread 😊

Why do you think they would frown upon it?

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:52

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 20:34

If it's none of your business then get off this thread because you dont need to read the loveky replies where people are sharing their experiences and are doing it willingly. You're being a weirdo.

Edited
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Um, minding my own business isn't being a weirdo. 🫣

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:54

RoyalCorgi · 12/07/2025 20:37

You know what? I'd much prefer to chat to someone who is curious about other people and their lives. I think people who have no interest in other people's religions, or points of view, or values, are quite extraordinarily boring.

Show quote history

Curious aka nosey. 🫣

wizzywig · 12/07/2025 20:54

@U53rn8m3ch8ng3 no I don't think they would have an issue. It's a common way to greet an elder.