Should we get SD one aswell?

[Aygbskxkdnd]

would appreciate some insight from people here, especially those who have blended families

in my family it is tradition that all the girls get a charm bracelet, the bracelet when they are born and then a charm every year until they are 18. It's really special and I treasure my bracelet.

the tradition is very much my family's doing e.g. when I was with my ex and had my DD he and his family were not involved with buying the bracelet or any charms. It was all done between myself, my mum, my grandma. My family would feel very upset if my DD's paternal family tried to be involved in this e.g if they bought her a charm.

my daughter (7) has a bracelet with charms and my brother and his wife are pregnant with a little girl, so me and my mum have bought a bracelet for her.

sorry for all the context but I feel like it's important!

so, I have been in a relationship for a few years now with a man who has 3 children, two teen boys and a now 10 year old girl who I will call SD for ease although we are not married

SD has become aware of the girls getting bracelets (mostly due to my niece being due soon) and has seen my daughter's bracelet. She is obviously a little jealous and feeling left out which I totally get and I don't want her to feel upset about this

I am serious with her dad and I see us being together forever. Should we look to get her a bracelet too so she is included? I'm not sure how my family would feel, I doubt they'd object but I also don't think they'd be involved - it would be down to me and my partner to sort it all out and buy the charms etc. my mum can be difficult and potentially could get offended by us doing this.

but also this is a thing that is exclusively my side of the family tradition and I wouldn't want to overstep or anything by brining SD in to it.

any thoughts would be welcome!

I think just start your own charm tradition for her and not involve your family.

I'm not sure on your view so unclear on the voting but buying a charm bracelet seems an easy win. Why not?

Why would you need to involve your family at all?

Yes buy her a bracelet if you think she’d like it. It doesn’t sound like decision any of the wider family need to have any kind of involvement in tbh.

Just buy her a charm bracelet with a couple of charms for next birthday/ Christmas. No need to make it 18 charms or one for each year.

I think this is thoughtful and kind.

It shows you value her and see her as part of your family.

I think she would be delighted, at that age the bracelet even without the thought behind it would be gratefully relieved.

In years to come, if you are together for the long haul, it will become treasured.

Go for it!

You're making this a big deal. Just buy her a charm bracelet.

I am prone to overthinking so those saying I'm making a big deal out of nothing may be right

I don't want to be flippant but this isn't some kind of incredibly obscure distinctive tradition involving family tiaras or anything handed down for centuries, it's a standard item of jewellery, if it would make her happy, do it. Don't overthink it

Of course you should, you wider family don’t have to be involved, would be nice if they were willing to and horrible if they objected

Why would your family be upset or offended about other girls having a charm bracelet or one of the "chosen" being bought a charm by someone else? This is the unreasonable part to me, or is it a dripfeed that they invented them?

Yes, of course someone should buy SD one, but your family shouldn't be involved.

I'd get her a bracelet. I get that it's a tradition with your family but it's not a super unique tradition that only your family do.

Buy bracelet you and her dad buy her charms each year. Its not a big deal

It’s not like it’s unusual to have a charm bracelet, don’t see what there is for your family to object about. Half of their classmates probably have them.

If she’d like one then buy her one. Simples. Your family don’t have a monopoly on bracelets, lots of people have them.

I dunno. With your DD the charms are got between family members e.g. you, your mum, your nan getting them not always you. If you get her one it would basically be you committing to getting her a charm every year forever.

I think your partner could get her one and sort it himself if he wants to commit to something like that. Or he could start his own special tradition with his own daughter.

I don't think this is on you to fix

Yes! I think that would be really nice and thoughtful of you. It could start when she is 11! Growing up type thing. I think she would really like it.

They are.
It’s a lively idea. Buy her a charm bracelet and perhaps 10 (cheapish!) charms.

Just get her one. Seems mean to exclude a little girl for the sake of a bracelet. If it will upset your mum, don’t tell her. It’s none of her business anyway.

It's an annual charm. Hardly a big commitment and she'll probably get fed up after a few anyway. My

I think it would be lovely to get her a bracelet. You don’t have to make up the ten years worth of charms, just buy her one really lovely one and add to it in the coming years.

I think decide: is she your family or not? Then go from there - doesn't need to have a wider family input necessarily, but something you and partner provide.
It seems like a lovely tradition.

Yes, get her a charm bracelet. Start it with a charm for her next life event (birthday, going to senior school etc). Add one at Xmas etc. you don’t need to involve your side of the family. It would be a really nice gesture.

If she would like it do it. You and her dad can do it.

Sorry but you're mum has no right to be offended. With the popularity of Pandora and the like it would not be unusual for your SD to discover charm bracelets herself and ask for one. You have a lovely tradition but anyone can have a charm bracelet.