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Original poster

Should we get SD one aswell?

167 replies

Aygbskxkdnd · 12/07/2025 12:23

would appreciate some insight from people here, especially those who have blended families

in my family it is tradition that all the girls get a charm bracelet, the bracelet when they are born and then a charm every year until they are 18. It's really special and I treasure my bracelet.

the tradition is very much my family's doing e.g. when I was with my ex and had my DD he and his family were not involved with buying the bracelet or any charms. It was all done between myself, my mum, my grandma. My family would feel very upset if my DD's paternal family tried to be involved in this e.g if they bought her a charm.

my daughter (7) has a bracelet with charms and my brother and his wife are pregnant with a little girl, so me and my mum have bought a bracelet for her.

sorry for all the context but I feel like it's important!

so, I have been in a relationship for a few years now with a man who has 3 children, two teen boys and a now 10 year old girl who I will call SD for ease although we are not married

SD has become aware of the girls getting bracelets (mostly due to my niece being due soon) and has seen my daughter's bracelet. She is obviously a little jealous and feeling left out which I totally get and I don't want her to feel upset about this

I am serious with her dad and I see us being together forever. Should we look to get her a bracelet too so she is included? I'm not sure how my family would feel, I doubt they'd object but I also don't think they'd be involved - it would be down to me and my partner to sort it all out and buy the charms etc. my mum can be difficult and potentially could get offended by us doing this.

but also this is a thing that is exclusively my side of the family tradition and I wouldn't want to overstep or anything by brining SD in to it.

any thoughts would be welcome!

OP posts:
Buffs · 13/07/2025 19:54

Of course you should get your step daughter a charm bracelet and it’s not a big commitment adding a few charms over the years.
I can’t for the life of me understand how that could possibly offend your mother though?!

Purpl · 13/07/2025 20:59

Yes defo but her a bracelet and 1 charm

viques · 13/07/2025 22:23

I see Princess Charlotte had a Pandora style bracelet on at Wimbledon , not to mention nails which I think she had done herself, or got a friend to do in a really garish pink! I was rather pleased to see that, it seemed a very 10 year old thing to do.

Eenameenadeeka · 14/07/2025 00:14

Yes, I'd buy the bracelet. Id prioritize the feelings of the child who feels excluded over any adults who feel some sense of ownership over something as basic as a bracelet, any adult who would be upset over it would not be worth considering.

Bowies · 14/07/2025 02:03

Yes it would be nice to get her one - with 11 charms for her next birthday perhaps?

i wouldn’t involve your DM, especially if you think she will be difficult about it.

liamharha · 14/07/2025 10:15

Aygbskxkdnd · 12/07/2025 12:23

would appreciate some insight from people here, especially those who have blended families

in my family it is tradition that all the girls get a charm bracelet, the bracelet when they are born and then a charm every year until they are 18. It's really special and I treasure my bracelet.

the tradition is very much my family's doing e.g. when I was with my ex and had my DD he and his family were not involved with buying the bracelet or any charms. It was all done between myself, my mum, my grandma. My family would feel very upset if my DD's paternal family tried to be involved in this e.g if they bought her a charm.

my daughter (7) has a bracelet with charms and my brother and his wife are pregnant with a little girl, so me and my mum have bought a bracelet for her.

sorry for all the context but I feel like it's important!

so, I have been in a relationship for a few years now with a man who has 3 children, two teen boys and a now 10 year old girl who I will call SD for ease although we are not married

SD has become aware of the girls getting bracelets (mostly due to my niece being due soon) and has seen my daughter's bracelet. She is obviously a little jealous and feeling left out which I totally get and I don't want her to feel upset about this

I am serious with her dad and I see us being together forever. Should we look to get her a bracelet too so she is included? I'm not sure how my family would feel, I doubt they'd object but I also don't think they'd be involved - it would be down to me and my partner to sort it all out and buy the charms etc. my mum can be difficult and potentially could get offended by us doing this.

but also this is a thing that is exclusively my side of the family tradition and I wouldn't want to overstep or anything by brining SD in to it.

any thoughts would be welcome!

Sorry OP but your family sound mental acting like a bracelet gives you a initiation into the Illuminati,your step daughter is a child buy her a reasonable priced bracelet thats special for her from you and her dad ,as for not letting you own little girls paternal family buy a charm for hers 🫣 jesus give your heads a wobble ,can you daughter not have a bracelet that has charms on it from everyone who loves her ? Why would your family be offended by that ? Toxic much

Lyraloo · 14/07/2025 13:31

Wow, your family seem a little weird tbh! Just because they started a tradition it’s weird to exclude the other part of the family from contributing to the bracelet! What the heck k does it matter who buys a charm for it. Get over your mother’s strange behaviour and of course include your sd. It’s a bracelet, not handing down the Crown Jewels!

Perimenopausalmanicmum · 14/07/2025 14:02

If anyone is being unreasonable here it would be your mother!
Who in their right mind would be concerned if your partner got your SD one? I really don’t understand your mother’s thinking on this. And how dare she get upset over a present your partner gets HIS daughter.
Absolutely ridiculous and if I was your SD parent I would get something bigger and better than a charm bracelet that they can’t wear because it’s so expensive.

99bottlesofkombucha · 14/07/2025 14:08

Buy her a charm bracelet. And if your mum says or looks anything, you look absolutely horrified, and say mum, I’ve bought a young girl, my stepdaughter, a charm bracelet. She’s in my family and if it upsets you I’ve bought her a bracelet then that makes me like my bracelet and the whole tradition less, because apparently to make it mean something I have to tell a little girl she isn’t allowed the charm bracelet she’d absolutely love to have. Don’t spoil the whole thing with attitude please.

MayaPinion · 14/07/2025 14:09

This is really common and although it is a ‘special’ thing your family do it’s really not unique. Both my DD and my niece love the annual pilgrimage to Pandora to get a charm. It’s also an easy gift so it’s great from that perspective. I agree with an earlier PP - you buy the bracelet between you, but her father takes the lead on buying the charm. That way, if you do split up she will have that continuity if she wants it.

MayaPinion · 14/07/2025 14:13

And - getting a bracelet and then charms is what keeps Pandora in profit. It’s a huge money making machine. Unless your DM is crafting her own charms from teeth and hair it’s really not unique or unusual.

LBFseBrom · 14/07/2025 15:41

liamharha · 14/07/2025 10:15

Sorry OP but your family sound mental acting like a bracelet gives you a initiation into the Illuminati,your step daughter is a child buy her a reasonable priced bracelet thats special for her from you and her dad ,as for not letting you own little girls paternal family buy a charm for hers 🫣 jesus give your heads a wobble ,can you daughter not have a bracelet that has charms on it from everyone who loves her ? Why would your family be offended by that ? Toxic much

Show quote history

I agree, thought it was bizarre, the whole thing.

Charm bracelets are naff anyway. I had one when I was young and lost it.

SaintGermain · 14/07/2025 15:51

Sounds like she only wants it because your daughter has one!

I would buy her one with a couple of charms and see if she loves and wears it and then just you and your paenrer wns her mother can add to it at birthdays and Christmas.

Do not involve your family in it.

JMSA · 14/07/2025 15:57

It’s insane that this may bother the female members of your family.
YANBU to get her a charm bracelet and you should!

LittlleMy · 14/07/2025 16:26

@Aygbskxkdnd i know some PP have advised to just get a cheapish bracelet and throw in a few charms so no need to buy one every year. However, my take is that SD will likely be aware that DD gets a charm every year and so will be expecting the same. Or even if she doesn’t clock this and gets given a bracelet with lots of pretty charms but then as she’s older and I imagine will be close to your DD what if she finds that she has a beautiful real gold bracelet with charms totalling in the hundreds and hers is worth a fraction of that. It might have a negative impact on her relationship with you as she sees herself as valued less. This is where personally I feel her father and biological mother should step in and contribute the majority (if not all the cost of this). It’s not like it’s a waste either since as she gets older that could be a valuable fallback assets of hers as well as being something of sentiment to her.

InterIgnis · 14/07/2025 17:45

Eenameenadeeka · 14/07/2025 00:14

Yes, I'd buy the bracelet. Id prioritize the feelings of the child who feels excluded over any adults who feel some sense of ownership over something as basic as a bracelet, any adult who would be upset over it would not be worth considering.

Except it’s her mother, and her mother’s feelings are presumably worth considering if she values the relationship. There’s also her daughter to consider, who may also value the emotional element of the mother-daughter-grandmother tradition and not want her mother to include the SD as part of their tradition. If the SD’s parents want to do something that’s up to them, and I doubt OP’s family would have an issue with that.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 14/07/2025 20:43

Given the price I think her dad should purchase a bracelet for her. Or if from you a more affordable one

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