Invisible at 60.

[canyouseemyhousefromhere]

Not sure if this is the right place but here goes….
As a 60+ woman I find it sad to think of myself as invisible. When I was in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s and later I would have lots of attention from men. I am happily married to a lovely attentive man but when I’m out on my own I am completely invisible. Am I the only one who has just realised I’m old and undesirable?

If you were “happily married” you wouldn’t have written this post. Just be honest and say you wish to be desired by men outside of your marriage.

Why do you want attention from other men and for them to desire you if you're happily married?

It should all be about how you look after yourself, surely?

As you age, desirability is not just measured by looks but by character, intellect, energy, drive, charisma..

No OP, you are not the only one..
I totally empathise.

Why must the two be mutually exclusive? The OP can find a great deal of happiness in her marriage and still get pleasure from the knowledge other men find her physically pleasing. They're two entirely different things.

I am happily married to a lovely attentive man

Well you are in a lot happier position than a lot of women. Why are you looking for attention from random men?

I think being invisible when it comes to customer service in shops would have been a valid point if you'd made it. But obviously thats not an issue for you .

I don't feel invisible at 60, but then, I never sought "attention from men" during previous decades.

This seems somewhat at odd with you being happily married.

I am 62 and am totally the opposite - I am very happy being invisible.

I am happy with my life, my family, my friends and my work. I am happy with the decisions I take. I no longer feel I have to please other people or be bothered about what they think.

I find it very freeing - like wearing a floaty skirt with no pants 😂

I turned 60 and thought "bollox to everyone else, I have a finite length of time in front of me now, I am just going to please me and mine".

Its really sad when women need men's " attention" to validate them.

I've never had male attention. I've been plain all my life and now, at 64, I feel the playing field is levelling and it's more about who you are than how you look. I'm not invisible, but I'm no longer being judged on not looking 'pretty', and it's very refreshing.

This is actually something I like about being older.
When men talk to me I know they're interested in the conversation we're having, with no other agenda. It's more straightforward and simple.

Are you me? I could have written this, every word!

I think most men over 60 feel invisible too...don't hear them moaning and groaning about it though.

That's because most of them are posting on OLD looking for 30 year olds.

It took this long? Jeez, I'm 51 and have felt this way for at least 7 or 8 years. You had your turn, it's younger people's turns to be in that era of their life. But there are so many wonderful things about being this age that more than make up for it and which are much more meaningful ultimately..

Hear, hear! Very well said. For me, the turning point was being seriously ill at the age of 57, and having to have some risky surgery. I definitely felt that my time left on the planet was indeed finite, and my people-pleasing tendencies evaporated almost overnight. In the modern parlance, I had no more fucks to give, and still don’t. Invisibility for the win!

I love the invisibility, it's an utter relief when men start to look past you instead of at your chest. Savour it.

Ok message received, I’ll crawl back into my shell.

Go on social media especially tiktok and start miming to younger music
I say this because so many older women do it and get a lot of attention

Really? I find the fact most men talk to my face now and not my chest very refreshing

61, I never wanted attention, I pretty much went out of my way to avoid getting it all my life. I just find wanting to be noticed, quite a sad way to be.

I think I will enjoy a bit of invisibility when it comes.

I love being invisible. No more stupid chat ups, no-one bothers me when I am alone, I can travel and see the world without worrying about unwanted attention. Anyone who knows and cares for me 'sees' me, and if I find I am being ignored when I don't want to be, that's up to me to speak up for myself.

Well that's as maybe. Plenty of people seem to think she should be sufficiently validated by the attention of one man though.