Invisible at 60.

[canyouseemyhousefromhere]

Not sure if this is the right place but here goes….
As a 60+ woman I find it sad to think of myself as invisible. When I was in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s and later I would have lots of attention from men. I am happily married to a lovely attentive man but when I’m out on my own I am completely invisible. Am I the only one who has just realised I’m old and undesirable?

I have more attention from men now than I ever did in my twenties, thirties or forties. I feel seen now like never before.

I too am invisible, though not quite 60. I find being invisible to females more annoying than males tbh. Younger women tend to exclude older women from gossip, work dos etc (from my experience) which took some getting used to!

Sometimes though, it's useful to be invisible as a post menopausal, forgetful and sometimes bewildered woman. Yesterday, at the end of the day I realised I had my cotton dress on inside out ALL DAY! I'd been to work and everything and never noticed and clearly no-one had either. Invisibility has its uses!

I hate to give you this revelation, but if men only gawped at you for what you looked like on the outside, you were always invisible.

I don't feel invisible.

I mean, I obviously don't feel lusted after by strange men - but I'm far from invisible. I get lots of cheerful conversation from strangers, folks in shops, people you bump into, etc. Why does not being eyed up by blokes make you invisible?

I don't understand it. Plenty of men and women, young and old, talk with me on a variety of topics.

FWIW my bug bear is the ubiquitous shoulder/chin length bob haircut that's everywhere for us 60+'s, lol.

Yes, same.

I love it - I find it absolutely liberating. And I’m single.

Yes I'm invisible. And I'm bloody delighted about it!

Why would I want random men eyeing me up? I'm not 15.

Right you are. Invisible means less harassment as well.
I don't give a shit what men think about my looks. I slob around in tee shirts and hoodies with no make-up and I never wear heels. It's great.

And me!

I am early 50s. I don’t feel invisible. I still get attention from men, just obviously not the young ones. I find lots of men the same age as me still flirt with me. I am also happily married, but ofc you can still enjoy a flirt and attention.

I recently lost weight and I would say that I didn’t get much or any attention when so was overweight. I think it’s a weight thing and not an age thing. Not that that’s great either.

I get a great deal of excitement when a shop assistant or a bartender notices me! And I'm happily married too 😄

Aint that the truth. With profile pictures of themselves standing beside muscle cars and other signifiers of alleged virility, sucking their guts in. Pathetic.

I’m 62 and very happily married and if I’m honest, I like the fact I get different attention. It’s more respectful. I’m very lucky in that my dh still finds me very attractive-even my increasingly wonky teeth. I look in the mirror and see the changes but think I look good for 62. I have a little pang when I think about my old gorgeous figure as I now have a bit of a disfiguring condition so no longer wear bikinis. However, I can still hike mountains and dance-at my age I appreciate more what I can do rather than how I look. We were out walking with my dd who is very lovely and a car went past hooting and men making gestures at her. I don’t miss that kind of thing at all.

Ha ha better than the old perm or helmet hair!

I was fairly invisible even in my 20s as I was not particularly attractive. In my 50s I am far more confident and chat to all sorts of people. I am happily married so I am not bothered about other men and never have been if I didn't know them. I have never needed validation from anyone.
My DD is in her 20s and very attractive. She often wishes she was invisible as men are a real nuisance.

That's not what people are saying, quite the opposite. They are saying you should use it as a means to be liberated from caring about the opinions of others. Then you will be very much out of your shell. It's caring too much whether or not you are pleasing to others that keeps you imprisoned.

To me it’s not being invisible to the opposite sex, it’s being invisible in shops, on public transport and in groups. Maybe it’s because I’m greyer and physically less noticeable but it’s a bit of a downer.

Bloody hell, I’m older than you OP but the very last thing I want is men looking at me and giving me attention. Yuk.

@pinkglitter12

"I read somewhere that its warped behaviour the way people treat young and beautiful women and actually that peace and invisibility that happens as you get older is how it should be."

This is absolutely right.

Why would you need to do this? You are happily married! There must be some reason you posted, some reason you are missing male attention?

Oh stop it. That’s rubbish. It’s not that she wants other men it’s that she sees attention from other men as an indication that she is still a desirable, vibrant and noticeable person.

And that’s valid. Especially for someone who has always had attention. No matter what your ‘assets’ are beit status, money, looks, intelligence, great hair, good legs, a great singing voice, steady hands …. They become things we identify with and when and if they go away we feel bad

True, but you can always have that peace and invisibility if you choose to, even when young.

@PrissyGalore lol. Good point.

Poo faced misogynist!!!! 😂😂😂Quote of the year!!!!!!!!!!