Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

It really isn't. There's a man in my area hanging around a local towpath. His recent antics include flashing, masturbating in front of two women, and an actual image was taken of him masturbating, full frontal, completely stark naked. If that isn't evidence enough to charge someone, I don't know what is.

But this man has been arrested twice and released. There has been an increased police presence in the area. Everyone has cameras on their phones; he can be (and has been) easily identified. Even after this he's still at it.

Something about the sheer audacity and persistence of this bloke is really concerning. They escalate. He's already escalated to an alarming extent. He is behaving with impunity and even the presence of the police isn't stopping him. I'm afraid this will end in something really serious - either someone will be hurt or killed or outraged locals will take justice into their own hands. I'm amazed that even by this point the police have been seemingly powerless (or disinclined) to act. It's been happening for over a year and has gone on for more than long enough. It dismays me that such cavalier attitudes are still taken toward the safety of women and girls.

I'm so glad you've decided to report this creep, OP. Because, whether you discount the 'mental health' excuse or otherwise, a creep he certainly is. And they get bolder.

Agree with this. You won’t go wrong trusting your gut instinct in such a situation. Worse case was he was totally innocent but thoughtless and may go home and reflect on how his behaviour can upset a lone woman. Men need to be more considerate even if they’re not up to anything bad.

I don't believe for one second that he was oblivious. He knew exactly what he was doing.

It was my first feeling that he had been waiting by the trail entrance for someone (not specifically me as such) to enter, but that felt a little melodramatic and self-obsessed!

I just feel a bit sad now as it's honestly my favourite part of the day and I don't see myself going back for a long while now.

I do always text my partner when I'm going and have location turned on on my phone, so I do take some safety precautions.

If that happened today and its 'company' workmen I'd report that! Definitely not funny!

Fucking men. It's ALWAYS fucking men.

I'm outraged for you, OP. As I am for myself, and all the women of my village, who now have our own freedom of movement made smaller because of one noxious pervert that the police apparently won't apprehend.

It makes my blood boil.

I don't think ot matters if he lost or innocent.

At best it's fucking clueless of him to approach you in a secluded woodland and his feelings matter less than your safety.

You either saved yourself significant trauma or he learned a valuable lesson about how he comes across.

Either way, you are safe and that matters more than menz feelings.

Some men seem to make a hobby of purving at women when they are exercising, I get it a lot when I'm running, some bloke cycling slowly behind me, I stop so that he's forced to go past me.
Also when swimming the perverts who lurk under the water, purving at you🙄

Don't blame you. Good job he was a fat old gimmer.

Unfortunately, it's shit that you have to, but change your routes regularly - I'd advise you to never have a pattern of running/walking in any particular place as you never know if someone has spotted the pattern. If you keep it irregular it at least minimises the risk of a planned encounter.

You did the right thing. He was being a creepy fuck. The 'I'm lost' thing is nonsense or he would have just asked in the first place, not hide behind trees and then follow you.

Maybe call 999 next time - he's either lost and vulenrable or a predator and probably on a list somewhere: he is either AT risk or HE IS a risk. Both require urgent response.

Please report to police OP. Men should not be doing this.

I wanted to ask whether you had hit any other cars whilst parking, but that's probably not as funny as it could be.

1. You acted very sensibly, well done.

2. The man is at worst a perve/criminal, and at best a twit. That is not how to behave in any circumstances.

Please report the incident to the police.

The thing is, for you the risk of being overly cautious is “potentially slightly upsetting a completely stranger.” The risk of suppressing your instincts and not taking safety precautions is “potentially having an unpleasant encounter at best and a dangerous one at worst.” No contest. It doesn’t really matter what his intention was. You responded correctly to the cues you saw.

Always better to be safe than sorry.

He could be genuine, but if he was following you because he was lost, he should have asked for directions. Weird. And shouting for you to come back? No chance. Again, could be genuine, but definitely weird.

Weird can turn into dangerous very quickly. Why take the risk?

This is why i desperately wish violence against women & girls was taken so much more seriously, and sentencing was much stiffer. There is so little deterent and punishment for men who want to harm us. I'm sick of feeble political platitudes which essentially change nothing in regards to how W&G are viewed and treated by men, how predatory men are punished and how their early 'minor' offending, which we know oftens escalates, is dealt with.

This is the result - women's lives are made smaller. We become anxious. WE change our behaviour, although we have done nothing wrong.

This!!!

You did the right thing.

Who cares if he was genuine and you were impolite? It's not your job to accomodate him, it's your job to keep youself safe. Good job for running.

He can’t possibly have been lost, given the path layout you describe.

And a lost man in the woods would keep a big distance from a lone woman and start with ‘can you tell me where the path is’.

He may be hopelessly lacking in social skills, in which case your reaction will have given him a clue as to how to behave.

There are a lot of struggling but harmless people who get it all wrong but it isn’t your job to take the risk of finding out.

You were completely right to be scared and to have reacted in the way you did.

Men aren't stupid. They know that following lone women in remote places is intimidating. He knew exactly what he was doing.

This is one of the few instances where I'd say reporting an unpleasant encounter to police is worth it.

You definitely did not over react, always listen to your intuition it’s rarely wrong. I am very glad your safe & well 💐

please do report it to 101 his behaviour was completely inappropriate!

You were spot on. Sensible. At best he was an inconsiderate unthinking fool … at worst ….

Horrible man!! You did the right thing. To be honest I would have immediately started running.
You don’t owe anyone your politeness in this situation.

You did exactly the right thing. There is absolutely no need to feel impolite. He followed you, approached you and scared you - his error (well let's hope it was an error). He has no idea about women's safety - lots of men don't if they don't have a sister/daughter/wife or whatever, but that's no excuse. You can't take risks to protect someone's potential feelings of having been impolite to them.

Women are attacked in woods. Abigail Witchalls, Lin Josie and Megan Russell are very high profile cases, but there are loads more lower profile that are rape/assault. If I'm dog walking alone, I stick to streets and the park. If I'm with DH I go in the woods/fields/wherever we want. I had to explain this to DH a few years ago, he just didn't understand. And I am not particularly physically vulnerable - 6 foot tall and built powerfully. But compared to most men, I am as weak as a kitten.

My lovely parents raised me always always to be polite.

On several memorable occasions as both a pre-teen and teen I ended up in potential risky situations with adult men because I was trapped by my own manners.

As a result I raised my own children that if someone makes you uncomfortable there is no such thing as rude.

Walk away/run away/shout out/refuse help - it’s always ok to trust your instincts.