Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

Any decent man would realise how you felt and not aggravate the situation as he seemed to do . Many many years ago I was walking home and was aware a man was walking behind me - you know that thing where you are walking at same pace but at a distance. He called out " don't be scared hen I'm just on my way home" . Ok you could say a potential rapist could shout that but it did help at the time.

Very unlikely he was lost. Pretty much everyone has a phone and very few places are completely devoid of reception (and impossible to get reception again within a short walk). As he was so close to the entrance, it would have made more sense to wait in the car park to speak to someone or to drive his car towards the nearest village//town (following the road signs).

Absolutely no need to approach a lone woman on a woodland trail.

Edited to add that it's never the responsibility of a woman to sort out a man's lack of planning or resourcefulness.

When I was seriously sexually assaulted by a stranger as I was walking home from work the attacker ran at me with great speed after I had tried to get away from them, They also grabbed me with force, as they were young and had a slim build. It was utterly terrifying Build and age is relevant

@Woodwalk

I don't see why it is being considered inappropriate by some to mention him being very overweight

My guess would be that they’ve been out in the sun for too long and their critical thinking skills have overheated.

I hope you manage to get back to your happy place again soon. I feel the same about the sea.

I had similar on a dark winter evening. I suddenly and nervously became aware of heavy footsteps on the pavement behind me, and wasn't sure whether to stop or walk up a house path, but suddenly a mans voice shouted out 'runner, I'm going to overtake on your right' and within seconds he'd done just that, overtaken me and went flying off down the road. He'd obviously given thought as to how to alert anyone he'd be coming up behind.

@Woodwalk , I don't know if you are aware of the Strava app, but it has a feature called beacon, which allows anyone you share the link with the see your run or walk in real time. They don't have to have the app themselves they just get a text with a link on how to view your run/walk .
While I think you should avoid the woods where you encountered this unsettling man for the next few months at least, if you decide to return, this could be something else that helps. I tend to use it if running somewhere remote (lots of towpaths and countryside near me) or just walking back from a train late at night.
I know many people use Google maps location sharing for the same thing but I find it less helpful as it doesn't have the alert text of "this person has started their walk/run and is sharing" aspect that you get with Strava - so I tend to prefer it over Google maps if I want my DH to be able to check that I got to my destination.

Aargh this annoys me so much. Why are so many men completely unaware that behaving like this can be very frightening to women?

Nobody tells us.

Took me years to work it out.

We do tell you. My son has known this since puberty because I made sure he did. Pathetic excuse.

You didn’t know without being explicitly told that a woman will feel intimidated / nervous if a man who is a complete stranger makes a sudden beeline for her after following her into a secluded area?

Interesting. So over those years, when you saw constant news articles about women being sexually assaulted, harrassed, feeling scared to walk home after dark, generally not being able to move freely in the world because of the fear of being harmed by men, you didn't think for a minute that you could modify your behaviour slightly in order to not contribute to the problem?

I think you handled this so well and have been incredibly sensible in your behaviour since. Such a shame that you’ve had to change your walks but your safety comes before everything else.

As far as the man goes there are two possibilities I think:

1. He was a bad guy - you were right to run
2. He was a naive good guy - you were right to run and maybe he will think in future

i hope you can move on from this quickly x

You definitely did the right thing. Over millenia women have evolved to very refined instincts regarding men. That's why it's ridiculous that trans women think they can fool us by wearing a dress, lippy and heels.

In virtually any given scenario the most dangerous person, for a woman, is always a man.

This is why we will always, always be able to instantly detect you are a man. You cannot argue with millions of years of successful evolution.

It's common sense. You shouldn't need to be told if you have any empathy at all. It took you years to figure out that bigger people behaving aggressively is intimidating to smaller people? Sorry, but I just don't believe that. I believe men pretend not to know in order to play innocent if they are called out on their behaviour.

Yeah, it's bullshit. They know. They just don't care.

Anyone walking in secluded areas like OP, or in areas like towpaths where it's easy to apprehend someone, needs to be armed. A corrosive substance in a bottle, mace, a taser... a handgun if you can obtain one.

Do not give me any guff about 'it's illegal'. Stalking, sexual assault, rape and murder are illegal, but men are wild nowadays and there's no deterrent. The only defence is a good offence.

The judicial system hates women. Even Stevie Wonder can see that. The system favours the perpetrator. Benefit fraud gets you a longer prison sentence than distributing images of child abuse (Huw Edwards case). Rape, a devastating crime that should come with an 80 year prison sentence, gets as little as 5 or 7 years.

Arm yourselves, and don't be afraid to strike first. if you fire a verbal warning shot and he doesn't back down or back off, what's he gonna do if he gets a bottle of homemade extra spicy 'water' thrown in his face? Run to the police? Ha! There's no cctv in a wooded copse. No proof. He got accidentally shot? Well, silly boy shouldn't have dropped his handgun when he attacked you and you used a bit of krav maga to disarm him.

These men do what they do because society has broken down and the Establishment get a good kick out of ordinary people suffering. Any local pedo flashing women and kids in public would have his skull caved in by the local men if he tried that in Russia or rural Texas.

The fear of violent vigilantism is the only thing that will ever keep evil men in line. If other men won't crack skulls then women need to make these monsters fear the consequences of picking on lone women.

Being armed doesn’t improve women’s safety.

I think you should report that on the police non emergency number

OP has reported, it’s in the thread.

Ah yes, going to prison for possession of an illegally obtained firearm is a great way to protect yourself.

Do you know the best way to protect yourself? Be able to run. And yell for help. Do not stand your ground, escape.

I note the horrific cases of rape and murder of women reported from Russia in the last few years - the Russian culture is as patriarchal as any other and women are not safe there from rape or murder in Texas either.

Texas and Russia are incredibly unsafe places for women so I've read.

I know what you mean. But some women are not really able to run.
May be older or less able physically. Still like to get out and about in the natural world or even just going shopping.
Walking slowly maybe.
I think decent men have to stand up for proper values and challenge untoward comments.
As well as intervene in any situation where a woman or child is being intimidated or disrespected.

I do wish more men who are decent would get together and call out all the sleazebags and creeps and psychos..If more men did that then the creeps would be more isolated and seen for what they really are.

Amen. I have a wicked blade I take with me in the woods. I sometimes use bear (pepper) spray, which is legal here because there are actual bears in the woods.

It probably won't make a woman safer if she isn't trained to use it properly and doesn't have the will to kill if necessary, which is the case with most women. But what if they were well trained and willing to kill?