Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

It is awful that women cannot go walking/running alone or even go about their daily routine without having to be on alert for men and to be always questioning what their intentions are. You did the right thing to leg it out of there, the fact that he called out at you to "come back" is sinister and creepy. We have a gut feeling for very good reasons and you acted on yours. Hope you are ok

You did the right thing, follow your instincts. Whilst it may be very unlikely that man meant you any harm, how are you supposed to know that? He did the wrong thing by making a beeline for you, I hope that he realises that now and has learnt to behave differently in the future.

If you are nervous stop going for walks in solitary places like woods. Difficult to say if the man was creepy or not.

Always trust your instinct ladies, it's rarely wrong.

I would also suggest posting about your experience on local FB pages as chances are it will have happened to others and it may prompt them to report similar incidents to the police.

If you have a dash cam see if you can spot the registration plates of the other cars in the car park as well and pass that onto the police as chances are he'll be known to them.

Um, no, definitely not lost – very glad you trusted your instincts. I've helped many a lost or slightly disoriented walker, male, female, groups, all sorts. Invariably they call out as soon as they first see you or as soon as you're in reasonable speaking range. Because, you know, they need help, and they don't want to lose the chance of getting it by scaring you off.

He doesn't get to "have a chat" with a woman he doesn't know in the woods.

Yes I would be doing that, because why bother someone and have to interact if I now know someone is around so I can safely find the correct way to go from them.

Until they stop, and I now have to ask instead.

Yeah but they are the ones with tazers, or who pull the cushion out from under their jumper as they stuff someone into the boot of their car.

Good advice about route changing and irregular habits

A sensible bloke would have kept out of your way and not shouted to you. I hike on my own a lot and any decent guy knows not to approach a woman he doesn't know on her own in the middle of nowhere. The most any such guy has ever said to me was 'good morning'.

I would have done exactly the same thing OP. Always go with your gut instinct. Always

You did the correct thing !!! Why wait until u was in the clearing to approach u if he was lost ? He could have called out earlier for help ! That’s scary as fuck !! I would have reacted the same way .
Make sure u make a report to police though x

Agree with this, a few years ago I reported a man who said some dodgy stuff to me in the street, he was a stranger and I was just going about my day and then I encountered this sleazy weirdo. The police said that they log it as "intelligence" and it can help build a picture if there are more or escalating incidents

I've done exactly that with my girls - walk away, refuse to engage, look around for other people or escape route (shop, pub etc) and crucially make a noise - say loudly 'leave me alone', shout if necessary, do not co-operate. They rely on silent compliance and may threaten 'if you scream i'll hurt you' but often they'll leg it if you do. And if you're at risk of getting hurt anyway then risk it because making a noise might just save you.

I don’t even run for a bus. But in this case I would have made an exception! Sounds scary.

You definitely should report this. At the least he was an idiot or worse something else.

Sounds terrifying. Of course you did the right thing.

I was just about to post something similar. If posters and lurkers have daughters please don’t raise them with the burden of politeness. We can model civilised communication but always teach them that when it comes to interactions with random men, they don’t owe smiles, they don’t owe politeness, they don’t owe anything and their well-being and safety comes first.

Are the men of the village doing anything about this? If they all went out in force every day for a couple of weeks to weed the pervert out, it might make the nasty little twerp think twice about loitering. I don't condone violence, or those vigilante videos, but men should be doing their bit to make people like him uncomfortable in public, instead of all the women having to be scared for our safety.

I listen to a true crime podcast hosted by two women and one of their phrases is fuck politeness. Women are often restricted by wanting to leave situations but stay because it would be seen as impolite to leave. Trust your gut, always trust your gut.

I have taught my two 6ft sons to consider how their behaviour might come across to women. They would never do what this man did. They would never corner a woman, they have learned to cross the road if they are walking faster than a woman ahead of them. That women owe them nothing, no hello, not even eye contact. They are really lovely boys too.

It's not rude or impolite. We as women are not here to please or appease men.

Any man who doesn't understand your kind of reaction is an idiot, and any man who gets offended by this type of reaction is someone to run from anyway.

My DH is in his 50s and would not be offended by this situation because he knows what it's like for women.

My ds has been crossing the road at night so he's not directly behind a woman since he was 15. If he can't cross the road he apologises as he over takes her and quickly walks on his way.

Indeed. Having taught DDs to be polite, as soon as they reached the age when they were out on their own any time I also taught them when it's important to be assertive, and downright rude if you need to be.

Download Holly Guard onto your phone

This, but the former seems more likely. If nothing else, I think he enjoyed upsetting and disturbing OP.

I hope you're okay, OP, that sounds terrifying.

I would suggest reporting this. Quite a few years ago my mum was walking her dog when a man approached her asking if she was having a nice day. Her german shepherd (normally calm and cuddly) started barking at him and chased him off. It turned out he was just walking away from murdering a nurse and the newspaper under his arm contained the knife used. She ended up being a witness in court

All of that.