Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

What's awful about The Gift of Fear? I only read some of it but I thought it was very interesting. "Trust your gut" is no superstition.

I remember during one of rhe lockdowns going to my local wood. It was so peaceful . The birds were singing in a way I'd never heard before because there were so few people around..I was with someone but I remember thinking how very much I would have loved to walk off on my own because it was so beautiful and duch a magical atmosphere.. And then I remember thinking how I'd never dare to walk in the wood alone and how utterly depressing that was. It really isn't fair but sadly there are too many screwed up.men around to ever take the chance.

Agree with this.

What?? You really think Gavin de Becker is on MN plugging his book? Get real.

I read the book and thought it had some useful information. You didn't. Great. There is no big conspiracy. Just some people liked the book. Some people didn't.

You definitely did the right thing, you don't have to smile and chat to a stranger. Keep your guard up. I go walking a lot on my own, my motto is, if in doubt get out, but I always try to choose open spaces where there are more than one exit and other people milling around, even when someone's passed me, I quickly look to check they are still walking the same way

Please do report it @Woodwalk. You just don't know this man's background, if he's had victims there or elsewhere that might provide a bigger picture.

Whilst sad, I do think it is time to give up the route. You just don't know if he got to know anything about you from seeing you previously or would try to this again.

No decent man would behave in this way. I'd report it to the police in case he has form for following women.

"How's your day going?" is a rather unimaginative chat up line....If he was genuinely lost, he'd have started the covering a totally different way and would have called out to you rather than direclty approaching you.

I completely agree with this post ..
OP he is as creepy as fuck !
Firstly aswel , if he was lost he would have said it straight away . He would have said “ I’m really sorry to bother you , but I’m not quite sure where I am “ , not enquire how your day is going !
No ,definitely report meeting this guy ..
I’m very glad you’re safe ,& got away from him ..
You must have been frightened, I would have been ..
Stay out of wooded area walks , seriously OP , unless you are with someone…x

Oh well done. Listening to your instincts and not your socialisation. You were absolutely right to get out of there. Really glad you're safe.

That's a good observation. When I've needed help in public quiet areas (only twice), I've always started with, "Excuse me," or "Sorry to bother you but we ...". My being a woman probably helps, but, "How is your day going?" is not a natural opening for that kind of situation.

Don’t feel silly. That’s well dodgy.

Most men wouldn’t approach a lone woman in woods in that way. They’d have the awareness to appear non-threatening.

Have you googled whether it’s a dogging site?

@shuggles I truly hope you aren’t woman's partner or father.

100%. Trust your intuition.

Always trust your gut. So sorry this happened. Very off behaviour.

You absolutely did the right thing. Glad you're safe. This detective gives great advice to women regarding predators and it's well worth a watch:

I think you always know when something isn’t right. In situations like that it’s so important to trust your instincts. The whole thing is very strange.

It’s interesting to see how differently men and women react, and how oblivious men are to women’s experiences.

I was startled by the man saying he too would be annoyed by a stranger talking to him, when OP had made it clear she was not annoyed but feared for her safety — as would most women on this thread. Also saying the man’s weight was irrelevant, whereas any woman would, in a split second, assess her chances of out-running him and note that his obesity would slow him down.

I’m quite amazed that men don’t seem to grasp this.

Women are prey, not predators. We have to be aware of subtle clues that might save our lives. We can’t afford to be oblivious.

OP, you did everything right. His behaviour was odd and suspicious, and you reacted accordingly. Safety first!

Always trust your Instinct

It is almost certainly nothing, but we don’t have the luxury of just hoping it is, we have to trust our gut and recognise the potential dangers.

To this day I am sure I avoided a mugging when an old lady tried to get me to help her walk home, taking an unusual route out of the town centre. I politely excused myself before going down the quiet back road…was I in danger, most would say not, but I felt it so I avoided it just in case I was being set up.

better to be safe than sorry

Always trust your instincts. I was at the park a few months ago and just felt like I was being watched by someone. It was a busy park so I thought I was being ridiculous. I kept catching a glimpse of someone at the corner of my eye. After half an hour or so, I saw this creep hanging around the bushes filming women with his phone. Reported him.

Great that you listened to your instincts.

This has been a very interesting thread, with lots of very good (and thoroughly depressing) insights.

Trusting my gut is an absolute rule with me. I agree that men rarely approach women strangers for advice/ help. When I think back to my assaults ( unfortunately several) some did begin with a man approaching with an ‘innocent’ question. You did the right thing.

In my State you can carry pepper spray if you are a vulnerable person and have a specific need for it.

When my baby was young I used to take him for a walk in his pram. One day it got dark really quickly and a group pf teenagers and young men tried to intimidate me when I was walking. I just kept my head down - but I remember I had to stop as they were surrounding me and I protectively covered my babies pram with my hand. One of the men got his basketball and slammed it to the ground next to me to intimidate me. They lost interest after that but I was scared and I stopped taking my baby for a walk after that.

I don’t live in a bad area but there is social housing in almost every suburb and certain groups of people are very problematic.

A few years ago (in my city) a mother was violently assaulted while she took her baby for a walk in its pram. It was recorded by a nearby security camera. It was unprovoked and just awful to watch.

I’m thinking of buying a pepper spray so I can start going for walks again.

After reading about that poor lady killed walking her dog, i’d say better safe than sorry and you did the right thing.

Always trust your gut. Your body make me picking up on all sort of subconscious cues that unsettled you about him.
I ran away from a man once - I just knew there was something very off about him - and he tried to follow me afterwards