Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

Trust your gut op.
id have run too and so many others would too based on the replies! It just goes to show that so many of us still live in the edge of fear and being alert all the time. It’s an insane truth in 2025. Xx

You did the right thing imo

Can you go back to the woods with a friend or partner?

I agree with everyone else. You followed your instincts and were right to do so. His behaviour was very suspicious. Well done for trusting your gut snd getting out of there. I’m quite sure I would have frozen in fear in that situation.

Hi @Woodwalk this sounds really scary. I’d be tempted to report him to police. Just so they have an awareness.
certainly men not wanting to cause fear or harm would keep well away from a loan woman in woods. his approach was off.
he was up to no good and you did well to trust your instincts.
really glad you’re ok x

Always trust your gut, personally I think you did the right thing.

I’ve had similar experience when I was with the dog (my old boy) my husband had gone back to the car and I was walking the trail slowly waiting for him to catch me back up, I suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable and like I was being watched, I spotted a man following me, luckily the trail split and I could loop back or carry on, I rather rapidly looped back and met my husband funnily enough he disappeared as soon as I met back up with my husband.

This is exactly another reason (not the only reason we love the breed, and live rurally and secluded) why our next dogs are full working dogs who are protection trained no one and I mean no one is going to get near me or the kids if they are walking the dogs with/for me if I tell my dog to guard me, our female dog is extremely protective over the kids and me not so much my husband.

I do a lot of walks on my own and I hate feeling vulnerable.

The murders of Lyn and Megan Russell (and attempted murder of Josie) have always really played on my mind for this reason. All just walking innocently in idyllic countryside on the way back from swimming. I remember that terrible incident popping into my head when I was walking with my then baby daughter in her buggy, along a low footfall tow path towards a country park a number of years ago and suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable and panicky. At the start of my walk I'd thought nothing of it. I turned around, went back to my car and went somewhere much more populated. I'm not prone to fear, and am generally quite laid back. But there have been too many stories in the news over the years for it not to have an impact: the Russells, Abigail Witcham, Rachel Nickell, the list seems endless. 😔

Think of a man you know, who is a nice, decent, sound man. A good person.
Ask him if he would conduct himself like this towards a lone woman in the woods.
I can guarantee you he will say no.
My DH would never, ever follow a woman through woods and follow her into a clearing and then approach her if he was lost. He'd rather stay lost and work his way through what to do than follow a woman like this. And even if he did start talking to her and she physically ran away, he'd shit himself and think "OMG I've frightened her, shit..." and upon registering her fear, as demonstrated by her RUNNING AWAY, he would NEVER shout after her to come back. Never.
And no honorable man would.
Bollocks was he lost.
Don't go back there.
Tough that it's your favourite spot.
But your safety wins over a walk in the woods.

@LancashireButterPie

The Gift of Fear has sold millions of copies and is always one of the most mentioned books in online conversations about how to handle risk as a woman.

It’s really odd you’re getting so worked up about people recommending it, just because you didn’t personally enjoy it. If a book has sold millions then many people enjoyed it and will recommend it.

There are lots of books I think were shit but sold well and will be recommended widely. I can’t imagine responding to every post recommending them on a thread demanding to know what exactly people liked about it / accusing them of being the author or associated with the author somehow. Bizarre. Chill!

It's always better to be rude than dead.

No you did the right thing. 100%

Poor you, that's a horrible thing to have happened and you 100% did the right thing. It is not your responsibility to "be kind" to strange men behaving oddly in the woods.

As for the way he spoke to you, it gave me chills. A long time ago, in a different but similarly isolated setting, a man targeted me and attempted to sexually assault me. As I tried to get away from him, the language he used was almost identical to the way you were spoken to. Almost lost and lonely. But his intentions were clear - and made clearer by subsequent actions.

Ugh. It makes me so furious.

Totally. The brutal reality is that 99% of women feel only truly safe in these circumstances with some sort of chaperone, or, at very least, some sort of 'weapon.' It's is horrifying and heart breaking that we are absolutely justified in feeling this way.

Sorry, I quoted someone but it glitched and then posted without the quote. I was replying to someone talking about a man who sat next to her in an empty carriage and wouldn't move until another man got on the carriage.

Not laying any blame at your door, just a tip. I always sit on the outside seat of any seat of two, it prevents them being able to sit without making a fuss, and gives you a fighting chance of just fleeing.

Did some twerpy mumsnetter actually think he or his fans were on these forums pushing his world famous book?! JFC I have officially heard it all.

For those who don't know, Gavin de Becker is multi millionaire who's written several best selling books.

Was this comment about The Gift of Fear? If so, I WISH he would pay me to plug it?! It is a fantastic book, I highly recommend it to EVERY young woman. It was published in 19 languages and since then he's received several presidential awards, amongst other things.

Like most of the world, he doesn't know this site exists, and would be far too busy to care if he did. 😅

It is a sad thing to admit, but I'd never walk in the woods/a very secluded area alone without a man or a large dog.

I've told dd and ds the same.

But the area we live in isn't very safe, so I'm not sure if I'd feel the same if it was.

I live in a really safe neighbourhood, and don't go anywhere off the track without my dh, my dog, or both. There's a nice walk past a golf course, but it's quiet, cuts past and through a lot of trees, and so I just don't go that way on my own. The sad reality is there are men who murder and rape women everywhere.

Sadly yes. I find it massively dispiriting that we seem to have moved to a place where it is positively demanded that our instincts, preferences and common sense are overridden by the constant mantra of 'Be Kind'. It feels like everything that's been won for women has been dragged back 60 years. It's not as if the epidemic of violence against women and children has been halted or anything, so why are we being asked to blinker ourselves from our gut instincts?

I'm always very suspicious of the motives of posters on here who tell us to pander, and 'what about the menz'. However, I know someone who robustly told me that I was potentially being discriminatory because I said that I didn't think male radiographers/sonographers should be put in roles where they performed routine (not emergency) mammograms, ever. That it put women off booking one if they knew they'd be alone in the little cabin in the carpark with a man who was ironing their breasts. Apparently I was standing in the way of 'fair career advancement'. Fuck that, frankly. Anyway, that person is most definitely female. I just don't get her.

even if he did just want to chat so what - you don't have to chat to him if you don't want to

He sounds like a weird guy and you did the right thing

After reading this thread, and having been assaulted and harassed myself several times in the past, I suspect I would still have to struggle with the urge to be polite if a man approached me.

Crazy but true. I was so conditioned to be kind. I realise I’m going to have to work on this.

Maybe this man was just inept, lacking social skills, or had learning difficulties. But that doesn’t outweigh OP’s need to protect herself.

I would report this on the non-emergency number.

I would have run too! No idea if he was dodgy or not but you are so right not to hang around to find out. You owe him nothing. If you feel unsafe you get the hell out of dodge. I would rather offend 100 misguided safe men than meet 1 predator.

I enjoy walking on my own in woods and country places but I have a great big barky dog to take with me. Before I had him I never had the confidence to go on my own because of stuff like this.

There’s a story I’ve been reading on BBC news this morning about a lady around my age and in my part of the world who was murdered whilst out on an early morning dog walk by a homeless offender who had been lost by probation after leaving prison following his previous conviction for a similar serious assault. I know it’s not common and it won’t stop me walking on my own but I will 100% listen to my instincts and run away if anything feels wrong.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ce3nzvplz2zo?app-referrer=search

I'd suggest reporting it online instead. I tried to report a man masturbating by a riverside walk, close to a family festival when I was walking with my children (thankfully we didn't see him because we were warned by a jogger). Called 101 and when I was still on hold 10 mins later, dh marched down the track and over to him and told him to fuck off. He did, but I've often wondered whether this was a serial offender whose behaviour was escalating. I feel guilty because I gave up on reporting it to the police via phone. I should have still reported the incident online, but didn't because at the time I thought "what's the point? He's gone now."

I work for the police.

Yep. You see it all on here!

This book has been around for nearly thirty years. Its bestseller status means it's about the last book requiring a 'plug'. As for its being awful, it's three decades old. Of course its content is dated, which is why some readers now interpret it as victim-blaming. But this by no means disproves its usefulness.

Stalking and VAWG is rife to the point of epidemic levels. Women are choosing to self-inform about any strategies they can use to protect themselves. Because, despite a new recognition of stalking as a criminal offence, police consistently fail to take it as seriously as they should. Cf. my mention upthread of the flasher/masturbator terrorising my own and the neighbouring village, who has twice been arrested, yet the police have done nothing.

These are the reasons so many women have read this book. It shouldn't have to be that way - and wouldn't, if men would do us the courtesy of leaving us alone to go about our business in peace.

And we all know that will never happen.