I interrupt MIL selfish monologues with yes I know, you told me this before.

[TheRubyPoet]

MIL always interrupts every conversation into how it relates to her without letting anyone else finish. My son's graduation dinner yesterday turned into what she studied at school, how she was the oldest in her graduation year. I replied yes, you told me this before and she kept talking. So I said it louder, you told me this before.
She got visibly upset but kept talking.

After 22 years of her I have had enough of her boring monologues and inability to let someone else have a moment. When I was sick when I was pregnant she kept talking about how healthy she was and how long she breastfed for blabla.
Everything i say results in her relating it to her.
Plus hours of nonsense about train times, shop opening times, What's in Sainsbury's.
My husband is quiet and unbothered by her blathering, so she gets away with steamrolling us.
AIBU if I interrupt her and say you told me this before.

There's a whole thread about this just recently. Not unreasonable.

Just tune her out like your bloke does.

I agree with you OP. This was your son's special occasion. You're right not to let her dominate the conversation.

You sound like a right pair. Neither any time for the other. Both rude in your own way. They say men often pick partners who are similar to their mothers.

Limit your contact with her and if you do have to spend time with her, before you go, say to yourself Barbara is going to Barbara. Then when she starts, think to yourself, there she goes, Barbara is Barbaring. You won't change her, you can accept her and stay away from her as much as possible.

I say this with an ex FIL who used to diatribe so much I could be standing there cornered repeating BOB! BOB! with my palm held up in his face and he would not stop. I just used to walk away in the end and leave him there talking to thin air.

It's really really rude and she's got zero self awareness, and is a bit bonkers, but you won't change it unfortunately. Protect your energy, let your DH deal with her, sit up the other end of the table, just stay away.

I was at a social event this weekend where there was a woman like your MIL and sat wondering for most of the evening WHY everyone put up with her behaviour!

We were more friendly acquaintances and neighbours so it’s not even like we had a family connection or long history together. It’s mind-boggling how a group of 5 people just continued to feed into her constant, un-interesting monologues about herself. It was a constant disruption anytime there was an interesting conversation.

I have less tolerance than the others and would keep steering the conversation back or not respond to her inane comments but I felt like I was being really rude as everyone else was feeding her ego. Maybe some people don’t mind people like this??

YANBU.

YANBU to tell your Mil when she talks over everyone about something she has mentioned a few times before.
You shouldn’t have to put up with this behaviour, so at some point you need to ask her does she realise that she is interrupting conversations with things she has mentioned a few times before and making everyone uncomfortable.
So, would it help if you could gently interrupt her in future by saying something to stop her doing this and maybe she would be more relaxed at family meals if she could just listen to what others have been up to.
I appreciate this would be a difficult conversation but she does need to know.

My mum and MIL are both like this. Spending time with them is frustrating and boring.

But, I recognise they are lonely and craving attention so I leave them to it, I think of it as my good deed for the day.

My MIL is the same and my DD. I just realise it is their personality type and it doesn't bother me. We are all different.

The second time I would have been much more blunt and said straight out, 'stop talking over X it's his big day and we're celebrating his big achievement; you've had your turn.'

Cannot stand people like that and they get away with it because no one wants to 'be rude' to the person who's being horribly rude.

Older adults do this . Is she elderly ?

My mil is 89 , you could tell her your leg is hanging off but her stubbed toe is way more important / interesting .

But then no one else gets to talk. The dinner was to celebrate her son’s graduation, not listening to MIL blather on about her same old stories.

’Just tune her out’ is terrible advice and gives MIL what she wants.

How much time are you spending around her that this is a problem? Mostly I just make space for the flaws in family members if it isn't hurting anyone.

We are all different but that doesn’t mean one person gets to dominate all family meals and blathers on.

I did this too. When she continued talking I got up and left. Came back a few minutes later to a seething but chastened MIL. I know what I did was drastic but after time and time again doing this I just couldn't hack it any more . Why should one persons needs override everyone else's. And if I was rude , well she was rude first. Again and again.

OP is not the one blathering on. She is right to stop MIL taking over her son’s graduation dinner.

Inside it annoys me but saying I have heard it before achieves nothing other than some territorial tug of war thing seems to be popular on here with MIL and DIL

I don't mind it so much when people are just gathered and it's just another conversation. Boring, tedious and extremely trying but I'll put up with it.

But in OP's situation I'd've said something too - it's not the time for the usual suspects to drone on and on about themselves yet again.

You’re being rude, especially when you saw it upset her.

Maybe nobody cares about your kids graduation. See how that upsets you.

I really really struggle with my mum doing this.

it’s very difficult because if you make her aware she is doing it she becomes very upset, but it doesn’t seem to stop her.

she is 80.

my kids avoid spending time with her also as it’s often the same stories over and over again and they’ve heard them hundreds if not thousands of times now.

i feel obliged to go and see her/have her to stay but I do find it hard. If we do get a proper conversation going it doesn’t tend to last long before it lapses into a monologue again.

if anyone has advice I’d be interested.

YANBU - people like your MIL are infuriating. There have been so many threads on this subject recently so you’re not alone.

A relative of mine does this all the time. Most recently, I told her some news about something that’s significant to us as a family. She responded “that’s nice, did I tell you I lost 3lbs?” then proceeded to rattle off everything she’d eaten in the past week.

I’d advise you to have minimal contact from now on.

It was the son’s graduation dinner, the reason people were there.

MIL was the rude one.

i agree with this BUT if it causes a scene then that's what the son will remember.
So I would leave the confrontation for another time.
Humour might be a better way to deal with it.

Could you stand up and say, right, I'm going to nip to the loo and when I get back I would love to hear more from the kids about what they want to do this summer hols! Anyone want a cuppa while I'm up?

I think you've got to just cut it off and change up the energy, leave the room, create a distraction, otherwise just stay away from it as much as possible, I used to feel like I'd been energetically mugged after spending time with FIL, and it was few and far between by design.