if I'm totally fed up of people assuming SAHMs are rich and idle?

[bohemianbint]

I am one, because I CAN'T AFFORD TO PUT TWO CHILDREN INTO CHILDCARE.

I did initially go back to work, but got shafted by my boss and am about to take him to court. We are not minted and I don't spend my time watching tv, eating bicuits and buying handbags. More's the pity. I will go back to work my my children are older, for definite, but for now, I'm stuck, whether I like it or not.

I find it hard to believe I'm the only person who can't actually afford to work?

all right I'll let you off as well

and honestly, that is not an exaggeration at our (state) school

'ridiculous language'

I'm sorry, I really don't see the point in earning a wage to then hand it over to someone else who has had the pleasure of looking after my dd!! I enjoy 'looking after' (ridiculous language?) my dc, I'd much rather I had the pleasure of seeing her grow and flourish until she's at school. THEN I can do more, as I did with ds.

NOT my problem that you can't see that

that's really big of you both, thank you for being prepared to "discuss". I thought I was being supportive of SAHMs in general, need to learn to express myself more clearly in future.

Funnily enough i used to say the same thing, but i now don't buy it either.

I work when my dh is home, i work weekends and bank holidays, so whenever he is at home i work, ok we don't see each other that much, but we need the money and it means that we don't have to find/pay out for child care.

There is ALWAYS a job to do, and i found it really easy to get a weekend job (house keeper in local hotel) as most people don't want to do weekend work.

It all depends on how fussy you are, and how desperately you need extra cash.

actually it was 'emotive language' wasn't it? And considering dp works full time it would be MY job to delegate dd's care to someone else if I wanted to work, to pay somene else to 'look after' her. Seems totally pointless to me but maybe I'm missing something

What is ridiculous to me is going out to work, not getting to be with my kids and earning just enough to pay childcare costs. That makes no sense whatsoever to me.

Agree with you whole heartedly Klaw.

I am idle and have three children, one at home, two at school and another on the way. i have a cleaner twice a week and I have a lady who does all of my ironing.
However I understand that many women cannot work and think it's quite ridiculous to suggest call centre work, walking the dog etc as a source of income. Call centre work requires childcare as most evening jobs start before anyone's partner would get home, who the bloody hell wants to walk someone's dog, ironing (yuk!).
To be fair, why not enjoy your children and not feel like you have to justify it!!!

she told you to give your dd up for adoption!?!

• riven, your MIL is insane

Well said findtheriver. I find it totally pathetic that SAHMs make out they are the only ones looking after their children.

Why do SAHMs project this over bearing need to be with their child constantly? I think it is an insecurity on their part.

A lot of parents go to work when their earnings just cover the cost of childcare to keep their skills alive in the workplace.

My God how do you keep from not punching her in the gob - MIL or not?

Dreadful woman

'keep from punching her in the gob' (sorry didn't need the 'not' - must preview)

what an utter cow she is riven!

"are sahm's with their children constantly?"

Bloody hell, 'no', not if I can help it!

I just don't understand why one option is considered 'better' than another. we all make our own choices and I know both SAHM & WOHMs who do what they do for selfish reasons and others who genuinely have chosen whats best for their family. we should perhaps respect individuals on the basis of their actual lives not jump prejudically upon them because they belong to one (wide non-homogenous) group or other.

BTW i have just returned from a one year break from MN. Can't believe we are still arguing about the same things

think the OP - can't remember her name now -in that other thread might have an issue with the OTHER WOMAN (evil sounding music). That's my female intuition speaking, carefully cultivated during my hours of daily idleness.

Actually I think I'm finally getting the hang of writing vague, confusing references to things that have happened elsewhere on MN. I was worried I would never be able to master that skill

So we now don't want to be with our kids all the time!

No insecurity here Journey. Just really enjoy being with my kids and wanted to be their main carer while they are small. Why when SAHM's say that are they accused of being "insecure" and "pathetic" and looked down upon for it. I see it time and time again in these threads. I like to be with my kids, I want to bring them up, I don t want to work to pay someone else to do so. Thats it. Why is that so hard for someone to accept without becoming insulting about it?

Well I was a SAHM, but I wasn't insecure thanks Journey . Loved every minute of it and always planned to go back to work when the boys were full time in Education. Now I'm a working Single Mum and that's ten times harder have to say. But it was a huge leap from SAHM with H to now working full-time and doing everything else as well. I miss being a SAHM, I hate being tired and worrying about money. I just hope that one day there's light at the end of the tunnel. We all do the best we can with the situations that we find ourselves in. Good luck to us all that's what I say.