if I'm totally fed up of people assuming SAHMs are rich and idle?

[bohemianbint]

I am one, because I CAN'T AFFORD TO PUT TWO CHILDREN INTO CHILDCARE.

I did initially go back to work, but got shafted by my boss and am about to take him to court. We are not minted and I don't spend my time watching tv, eating bicuits and buying handbags. More's the pity. I will go back to work my my children are older, for definite, but for now, I'm stuck, whether I like it or not.

I find it hard to believe I'm the only person who can't actually afford to work?

Pruforck - do come and join us on this thread

I think Perkin summed it up:

"the thing that riles me most about constant SAHM/WOHM battles is the implication from some posters that we all have a choice. In reality, many of us are doing the only thing we can afford to do, be it WOHM or SAHM. "

Simply, I prefer to look after my OWN children rather than earning a wage to pay someone else to do it. It is my responsibility and not one I'm prepared to delegate.

I did go back to work for a while after dd was born but lasted 6 months before thinking WTF!

When ds was little I did a back to work class, then went to college PT, then went to college FT and then went to work full time once he started school. And I worked FT till dd was born.

Now I work full time within the home (not very well I have to say ) looking after my children, learning online, have become a Doula and am trying to raise my profile. I do voluntary work at local hospital as a BF peer support and attend my local MSLC meetings.

I do not think the world owes me a living and will earn a wage once my children do not need me to teach/clean/play/taxi/cook/nurse them.

I am totally skint! And yes I'm a bit lazy round the house but I do not watch day time telly, eating chocolates with my feet up all day.

If anyone has a problem with that, then that's just it, THEIR problem, not mine!

Bohemian, I'm in the same boat. I only have two children but I get really confused when people ask me how I can 'afford' not to work.

Emmmmmmmm because childcare for two costs more than I would take home if I worked.

Not that hard to believe, I would have thought

Oh FGS can we please get rid of this emotive language suggesting that only SAHPs 'look after' their own children.
Parenting isnt my 'job' to delegate. It is a shared responsibility between my dh and I. No one else parents my children. They have at various times had supplementary care/education/interaction from nursery. Which was fantastic for them - they are confident well rounded children.
Anyone who is truly happy as a SAHP should not need to resort to this kind of ridiculous language to try to defend their position.

true - ridiculous!

go get a job why doncha?

LOl custy - straight to the point eh!

when I did my sums about 3-4 years ago I worked out that you have to earn about £25-27k gross to pay for childcare for 2 pre-school children. (and by the time you paid to commute you were therefore in the red...)there must be are huge numbers of people in this boat. agree with OP that it's very frustrating that people don't get this! it's not rocket science.

riven - your circumstances are pretty unusual though. The demands of a child with a disability may well mean that paid work is impossible for one parent.
I think Connie was making the point that there are possibilities out there, and to some extent it's whether you are a 'cup half empty' or 'half full' type person.
Some people make every excuse in the book not to get a job, while other people evaluate their circumstances, think creatively and make opportunities.

riven, I am not suggesting you or anybody else works from home. But the claim that people cannot afford to work is simply not true. There are obviously other factors involved - such as yours caring for your child with disabilties.

Well said Prufrock

so very true Riven, so very true...one is at the mercy of hospitals etc constantly.

Is it happens I don't think there is anything wrong with being a rich and idle SAHM

Hi Bohemianbint, YANBU, because not all SAHMs are rich/ idle/or both. BUT there are lots of SAHMs who are. That's a fact. So it pisses off those of us who work bloomin hard and still don't live their lives of luxury AND still find time to do e.g. fundraising for the school which some of them don't. But I wouldn't ever say all SAHMs are the same, most aren't. It's just the minority of
who wind me up, usually those who are smug and lazy. FWIW, I'd happily be a SAHM but keep working cos DH's income/pension not great and it's added security.

Or a smug, rich and idle SAHM for that matter!

I know people like that. One woman is a SAHM & has a cleaner & doesn't seem to do very much.

Mind you if I was a SAHM I'd have a cleaner & a Nanny (or so I threaten OH!!)

Blondilocks - do I know you?

Missed off the

lilolil - why should you be pissed of at another's good fortune? there are always many people better off than you are - unless you are Bill Gates of course

Exactly Iota!

Sorry Iota, that wasn't quite what I meant. I meant I get pissed off at the smug ones - not ALL SAHMs. Like "we're off on our 5th holiday abroad this year, even tho I don't work for it and can't be arsed to help out at PTA events etc, too busy shopping and getting my nails/hair done. Where are you going? Oh sorry, forgot you're one of the saddos who has to work for a living." They are the ones I get pissed off at, not all of them. I'd be a SAHM at the drop of a hat, and would quite happily be rich and idle. I just don't think I'd be as insensitive as some of them. And I am really not saying that they all are. Sorry if it came across like that.

In that case - fair point lilolil