To not know how school mum does it?

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Mum of 3, works full time (I think) but always looks absolutely FABULOUS and so friendly and outgoing.

i am unorganised and I would love to be more like this.

not sure what I want from this post but just wanted to vent!

My friend who is like this is really disciplined. That’s what I notice. She sticks to tasks, has regular appointments for hair and facials, if she’s cleaning her stairs and bannisters that evening, that’s what she’s doing.
Her and her dh are a proper team and both their families are warm, friendly and open minded.
And she is genuinely one of the nicest people I know.
So I guess, it’s upbringing, personality and circumstance for those who naturally have it.

You don't mention a job?

My kids are lovely but have SEN so are fun, charming but extremely chaotic, loud and hard work. This is genetics not bad parenting

I’ll be honest - I’m the young(ish) full time working mum who turns up looking well.

The key is money, a great husband, being boring and going to bed at 9pm.

I have a cleaner, I adhere to a strict self care/hair wash routine and I go to bed early to ensure I’m up and at it first thing. For example: I get a full body wax so I never have to worry about wearing a dress, nor wasting time shaving my legs.

Every single thing is timetabled. It’s both easy and exhausting.

Ha. People have said that about me. I'm a mum of two (both SEN), work full time in a busy job, always look nicely made up and wear nice clothes to the school run etc, volunteer for stuff, recently finished PhD in my spare time etc, always arranging playdates, compete in sport in my spare time. People have asked me how I do it.

BUT

I'm an utter mess. Really. It's all a facade and I'm terrified of everything crumbling. The slightest hiccup in my daily routine... one of my kids has a day off ill... and it's a disaster. What they don't see is the frantic running around the house to get ready, the search for clean clothes, the arguing, the staying up past midnight most nights working, the exhaustion. They just see a snapshot but not what's beneath. This is likely the case with many people.

This is so perfectly put.

You're amazing regardless.

I had 2 children and worked FT as did DH who also travelled overseas a lot for a decade as part of his job with no pattern to it whatsoever. I was always turned out well enough and until about 52 a size 8, my Mother an ex dancer taught us all how to walk property and stand correctly and went on about ‘good underwear’ I just had very high energy levels. Have poker straight hair and as I’m mixed race I could just dodge make up totally, thanks Dad. The only help I had was a cleaner, all family live hundreds of miles away. We did make a babysitting swap with another family so got out about every 2 months. I also did voluntary committee work through this for 2 different charities. I used to walk briskly round campus for a hour every day where I worked. My children never had a stomach bug, DS vomited once in spectacular fashion brought on by a migraine when his puberty started, they both caught chicken pox but were almost never ill, not even with colds.

@surreygirl1987 is there a reason you try and fit so much in, if you are a mess and exhausted?

You mean looking after my two SEN boys? They're my kids. My full time job? I love it, find my career hugely satisfying and it pays the mortgage (not to mention the private school fees!). The competitive sport? Massively positive impact on my mental health, and doesn't take up much time.

Obviously, as I mentioned, my kids are both SEN, which is the biggest challenge for me (both emotionally, mentally and time-wise). One has an autism and ADHD diagnosis and the other is being assessed now. This is not something I am trying to 'fit in' but simply a part of our lives. Having autistic kids is exhausting.

Thanks - that's so kind.

I always think the secret to this is sleep!!!! I know that sounds ridiculous but all the people I know who are spritely and gorgeous looking and work and are amazing at all the school runs etc talk about getting organised the night before, going to bed at 9 and don’t seem to spend time on social media etc. Not all have fantastic support networks as I know a few that do talk about the craziness of childcare and juggling (thinking of two in particular, two of the nicest people, one a single mum other dh regularly away but ft busy jobs)

@surreygirl1987 I was thinking more of the having to work past midnight, which surely adds to your exhaustion. What happens if you burn yourself out? Who will pay for the school fees, who will look after your DC?

Lol thanks for your concern but I'm not burnt out. In fact, right now I'm enjoying a wonderful holiday away abroad ... on a sun bed on a beach sipping a cold drink ... and my laptop is at home! My life is a choice and I'm happy with it.

The point I'm making for the OP is that she might see 'supermum' but it's only a snapshot. The reality probably is very different. I'm not actually on here to complain about my life (which I love, despite how tough some aspects of it are) or to seek advice about changing it (to me, it's worth every late night and every bit of exhaustion) but thanks anyway 😊

I never had much money,or time really. I had one disabled son, Im.still his carer.. I can shower, hair, make up in 15 minutes. Most of my clothes are charity shops or vinted. A couple of weeks ago I parked the car, walking to the hairdresser's,very well spoken lady was walking towards me. She said "oh,my don't you look fabulous".had a little chat she was 80, certainly didn't look it. I had one a retro style white cotton lace top ,3/4 sleeves. Last time 2 months previously also going to the hairdresser's,a bloke probably in his 50s, said my hair looked fabulous. I had a consultant appointment in the winter, the consultant said I had fabulous hair!

Yeah she does.

I’ve had friends/other mums ask me how I ‘do it all’ - 3 young kids, work full time in a senior role etc.

The reality is I have a lot of help and outsource as much as I can. Full time nanny, a cleaner, gardener etc. All of our laundry gets sent out. I go to a salon every Sunday evening and have my nails done and a blow dry. And I have a couple of designated cupboards where I hide all the mess.

Hi I work full time in an office about 20 minutes commute mon to Fri

Ooh yes outsourcing! We have a cleaner now.

Can I please ask, how long does your weekly blow dry last? I presume you do your hair yourself mid week?

Whatever works for you, but you could not pay me to get a full body wax!
That's not remotely related to being organised imho.

I will skip the full body wax too sounds painful.

I have an organised schedule but I also have lots of energy and a good memory so I appear more together than i actual am.

You don’t know anything about her. Primary mums always said how easy I made single parenting and a demanding job look. I was depressed, really struggling.

Why does me looking nice make you feel sad?

You look your idea of nice, and that's fine, but we don't all have to follow those standards to be doing well and be happy.

Would love to hear your timetable, if you would share.