To not know how school mum does it?

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Mum of 3, works full time (I think) but always looks absolutely FABULOUS and so friendly and outgoing.

i am unorganised and I would love to be more like this.

not sure what I want from this post but just wanted to vent!

Annoys me when people say this. I have 3DC, I’m a single parent, I work, I have hobbies, I cook every meal from scratch. I am also very well ‘put together’, with nice clothes and make up. I don’t find it particularly difficult.

I don’t have a big support network at all. In fact, almost none.

Edited to add: I also don’t get up ridiculously early. I exercise during the day (I wfh) and just keep generally active. I have a low maintenance make up regime.

Any pearls of wisdom for the rest of us?

Is this a thing ? Washing skirting boards ?
I usually just hoover mine. If I remember......!

I generally make an effort if I know I'm seeing the other school mums (I don't do most of the school runs) and I'm relatively organised when it comes to school stuff. However, my house looks like a bomb has hit it at all times and I know from playdates at my DD's friends that we are considerably worse off than her friends! It's swings and roundabouts.

I only know two people like this.
One of them wears lovely clothes, make-up always glam, hair always washed and styled, her kids look like they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards and look scruffy.

The other one is so terrified her husband will leave her if she doesn’t look perfect, house is perfect, dinner is perfect etc. that she functions solely around keeping him happy. Every aspect of her life looks enviable unless you’re me and know the real reason behind it. Poor gal.

I’m not saying it’s the case here at all but, I was friends with someone similar-I was so envious of them for so long as thought they had the perfect life. They were so lovely and it all looked absolutely amazing.

Turned out 15 years later that they were in a horribly abusive marriage. They were getting about 4hrs sleep a night trying to keep up the image which was controlled by their partner. The whole time I’d known them they were desperately unhappy and I had no idea.

They finally left when their youngest turned 18.

I say it just to illustrate that you never know what is behind the scenes. There was absolutely no clue at all

This 👆I was always the scruffy Mum🤦‍♀️The Mum who had the big house and pool looking immaculate wasn’t aware that her husband had another family in NY !!.
I felt absolutely awful for her when it became common knowledge.

Yes, very important. That is bedbugs favourite hideouts

Not... beds? Haha!

Some people just try harder than others.

And some people are just nastier than others, as proven by the women on this thread desperate to assume other parts of her life must be rubbish.

And humble with it!

Everyone has a different 'screw this' level, it's not just energy. Its at what point do you just collapse on the sofa, scroll your phone or go to bed when there is still 'stuff' to be done. Mine is quite low! I find it hard to motivate myself when I'm tired and would rather be doing something else.

Some people seem to never say 'screw this'. Maybe they were guilted for not being 'busy' or 'good enough' as a child. Some have husbands who expect the world. Sometimes it's for more positive reasons. But everyone is different.

Im very low anxiety/neuroticism, so looking scruffy or having a long 'to do' list doesn't really stress me out. I find it much easier to do things because I see the benefit of it, rather than because of what others might think.

Put an apron over what?

Are hair extensions an indication that you have it together? I don’t have hair extensions, not my thing at all but I don’t think it has any semblance on how organised I am.

Exactly - some of these comments are horrible.

I don't like all the "yeah but I bet she..." comments on this thread. Firstly, we can't know each others' lives inside out. So assuming that people who have it together must be incompetent in some sphere of their life that isn't publicly visible just speaks of jealousy.

More generally: some people are just "I don't know how she does it". I have my act together. I wear a limited number of put-together outfits, I drive a newish clean car, I have three well-behaved kids, I hold down a job with a bit of a profile. I really hope no one's looking at me and considering my skirting boards or whether DH is off bonking his secretary.

Work clothes in the morning.

Oh well I think I'm fine not doing mine then - the spiders live behind the skirting boards and they'd have them (my ground floor is these horrible lumpy concrete tiles, so the skirting boards have lots of gaps at the bottom, and I often see little legs venturing out to grab things (even cat food once! I have very well-fed spiders). The cats largely keep them behind the skirting boards by 'playing' with any that venture out in their sight.

I'm not well dressed (I dress for comfort - jeans/t-shirt/hoodie, my hair doesn't co-operate, and only wear limited makeup if I'm feeling like it), but I'm always on time, my kids have the right kits and have done their homework, and I'm there for any event they need me for. I also have a full-time job, and generally cheerful.

I do it because it's easier/less stressful to be organised than not to be.

mind you, I'm very easy going about how tidy the house is, although that's improving now I know that the secret is to just have less stuff.

Her clothes I imagine…

Well if she works full time she must have full time childcare / family help for her children so it's not that odd she manages to dress herself nicely

This.

I am most definitely not capable, I'm chaotic, scatty and have a habit of leaving a trail of devastation behind me.

I rarely look fabulous either and I'm also anti social so unless you are already my friend I'm not likely to start talking to you!

Stands to reason that if I'm like this then there will be others who are the total opposite and for general put togetherness comes naturally whereas for people like me we have to try really hard and it never lasts!

I sometimes wash my skirting boards though..

Agree, especially the ones suggesting that it’s all because her DH has high standards and she is terrified that he will leave her, like women only ever do anything with the view of pleasing a man. Regressive bullshit.

Maybe she has support - family, friends, cleaner etc, maybe her house is a tip, maybe she cries herself to sleep, maybe she has OCD and everything has to be perfect, maybe beauty/looks are her hobby, maybe she looks at you and wishes she was more like you.
Comparison never brings you joy. Be you! Find ways to improve things you need to improve. 😁

My SIL is like this. Really high level job, does pilates 3/4 times a week, house is always immaculate etc. I’ve met her mum and dad who are the same, really lovely people and always on the go. So I do think she’s naturally followed what she’s been brought up with. I value time to relax more then she does and will let things slide such as putting that last pile of washing away etc where as she literally won’t sit down till it’s bedtime.

Each to their own but I don't think hair extensions tell us anything about a person, and they often look quite fake anyway.