To go on holiday with DD’s, but not DS?

[Suncloudstars]

DS(14) is from a previous relationship and spends approximately 1/3rd of his time with his dad. I also have 2 DD’s (9 and 4) with DP.

The 5 of us went on an amazing long haul holiday for 3 weeks over the Easter holidays.

I would love to book a week away over the school summer holidays - but a cheaper, last minute sort of thing as the other holiday was an expensive one (and the main holiday of the year). however the price for all 5 of us is too much; but we could afford the cost for 2 adults and 2 DD’s.

As well as his usual days each week, DS is spending a full week with his dad over one of the school holiday weeks. His dad had previously told me that he was looking to take him abroad, but I don’t think that is now materialising. There’s still the possibility that they may have a UK break instead.

Would I be unreasonable to book a holiday abroad for myself, DP and 2 DD’s for the same week that DS is going to spend the week with his dad?

It feels slightly wrong to go without him, but I also think that he is with his dad for the week who will be taking him places/potentially going away so he’s still going to be having a good time/having experiences etc.

We can’t afford to go away a different week and take him with us. So it’s the difference between going without him whilst he’s with his dad, and not going at all.

Aibu to think that whilst he’s with his dad, it’s his dads responsibility to take him away/plan things to do with him for the week and to not feel guilty if we take DD’s away?

🤣😘

So why not answer the question if you are so reasonable?

Wow. The fact you are mocking and laughing at posters that are messaging in good faith says everything about you.

Given your posts op I imagine the holiday is the least of your son’s problems, and I really hope he has a loving and committed father that does not let him down, and an extended family that protects him and looks after him - as it’s clear from your posts that you really don’t give much of a shit. So why dress it up?

I feel deeply sorry for your son.

I am out.

That’s a pot calling the kettle black

Because I am bored of it. I’ve been slated non stop by people who don’t have a clue, are judgmental, rude and have made personal attacks that couldn’t be further from the truth. They’re over invested, over dramatic, I’ve given up caring what anyone on this post thinks anymore.

As I’ve previously said, thank you to those who have been polite. Those that have been the opposite; it says more about you than it does me.

I doubt very much they will be going to Dubai

And Dubai is an inferno so good luck with that. Ofc you would choose Dubai..

Good God, Dubai is shit. If you're going there, leaving your kids behind is an act of mercy. I don't want to go there again even on a free ticket that lives permanently in your head. Still, it's all about ME!

and also, why do I need to prove to a bunch of strangers on the internet what a loving, caring parent I am? I don’t. And I’m that confident in my own ability to provide those things for my children that I don’t have to explain myself to any of you! Yet you seem to think that I absolutely owe you an explanation and proof that I am the perfect parent. that’s why I now find it laughable. Concentrate on your own lives rather than slating another mum that you don’t even know.

🤣 okay. Can send proof if you’d like 🤣

Ah well if it’s so shit he won’t be missing out on anything will he. Win win!

Nah you won’t be going

Sounds like a lot of jealous bitter people to me!

Not like I haven’t been 5 times in the past 2 years already…but of course I won’t be going next week. You seem to know me so well 🤣

You must have gone to the shit part.

It’s not that difficult to read you to be honest.

Op the issue here just so I can say it clearly is that your son does not appear to be a priority for you at all.

The holiday is just one example. The fact you didn’t know that leaving him out of a family holiday would be so hurtful to a child is really displaying a lack of moral compass and emotional intelligence.

So you have already booked, and either people in your life have already said it’s not on or your conscience is needling you, and you posted here for approval and validation and received the opposite. Now you are angry and pissed off because you feel like a bad parent and person. But thar IS what you have done…. No doubt you are uncomfortable.

I have no wish to upset you or judge you harshly, but you don’t appear to care about your son very much, and that is why you are getting such a strong reaction on here.

This

@Suncloudstars you never answered my question, would you do a weekend or short break with just your son?

i haven’t booked anything; this is a holiday booked for my partner and I that has been booked since last year - separate from what I’m talking about. so all feel free to slate me for going on a “child free holiday”…

love how the judgments are still strong - I don’t appear to care for my son; all because I asked if it would be a bad thing to do whilst he was with his loving dad. I haven’t said anything else to suggest that I don’t love or care for him or that he is not a priority in my life.

All that money and no taste. What a waste of so many holidays. If that's a sizable portion of the holidays he's been on, YAB massive U to deprive him of a trip to Europe.

Absolutely.

As I said previously it has nothing to do with the mother where that dad takes his son. This is about not being able to afford to take all the family away. The op said this in her opening comment. I suggest you go and read it.

Absolutely not, he’s travelled south east asia on two occasions, been to multiple parts of the USA, Malaysia, a trip to Disney world Florida, Greek islands, other European destinations, amongst others; in addition to Dubai.

Definitely a deprived kid.
And clearly such bad holiday taste too…

one holiday destination doesn’t define a person you know.