'Use your words' GET TO FUCK

[partyetiquette]

Directed at the twats on here who patronisingly say it to posters
"Why did you not use your words"
"Use your words"
Use my foot up your arse you patronising twat

Its Italian cousin is vaffanculo (literally "go to arse")

All before taking their fur baby to foggy day care

It's annoying, but honestly, so many posters on here seem incapable of having a conversation with the person they've decided to marry/cohabitate/have children with. It's baffling. No one is a mind reader.

OP, I love you!!! 🤟

I think a some posters learned the hard way when they were growing up that ‘speaking up’ meant getting a slap, whether it be from a parent, sibling, teacher or other adult (yes really, we’re not all Gen Xers from England).

Anyway the OP made me smile. So there’s that. I agree about the language being patronising and unhelpful.

But why not say “Talk to them” instead of “use your words”?! It’s so ridiculously twattish.

‘Go fuck yourself’ works as a loose paraphrase

this I understand and enjoy using 😀

Today year’s old gives me the red mist. No one ever said that year’s ago, who dreamt it up 😡

They’re not wrong though.

Too many MNers hate confrontation or are wet lettuces.

Agree. Very annoying.

Almost as annoying as: “Are you always this anxious?” Or “What did he say when you told him?”

So passive aggressive.

No one on MN knows who is ND and who isn’t, unless they say they are.

I swear there are phrases and words on MN I never hear in real life. And don’t even get me started on ‘vanishingly’ - that word cannot (and should not) exist outside MN. Never heard it said in real life.

The amount of wet lettuces on MN boggles my mind, how do they get through the day?

Can you not have a civil debate without leading to a confrontation?

I personally don’t like confrontation but some posters seem unable to ever voice their likes or dislikes or what they won’t tolerate even to their (non abusive) spouses or children.

Tbh in most cases posts go like:
"I am married to 20 years, helped my DH in every way, raised kids while working ft and catered for his every wish.
Also, he cannot remember my birthday so I feel a bit sad."
MN: "use your BIG GIRL words"

Like for what?
To tell capable adult to use his fucking brain?

You would expect people to get to know you in a relationship without you listing every single step they need to do.
Just imagine world where women wait for men to tell them every day a full list of detailed instructions in order lol

😆 YES. Exactly!

I think that there are helpful alternatives to the ghastly phrase ‘use your words’, which could be offered to the supposed ‘wet lettuces’ who presumably have some stuff going on.

‘Do you need some ideas about how to raise the subject with her?’

‘Is it hard for you to talk to him for a specific reason?’

‘Are there particular reasons why you haven’t spoken to them about it yet?’

I may have to remember that.

*doggy day care?

That's just as patronising, IMO, especially, ‘Are there particular reasons why you haven’t spoken to them about it yet?’

'Big girl words.' VOM.

Also, 'time to put your big girl pants on.'

Does anyone say this in real life?

More fool them. But only bullies and thick people use confrontation as their go to. Most civil people IRL don't do that. I suspect a lot hide behind it being anonymous. Cowardly I would say.

You have to set up the suggestion first. It’s about having a chat with the OP and working up to trying to help them out, not just bulldozing in with the fastest patronising insult, when they’ve got a problem and feel a bit miserable.