Went down husband’s phone

[PulpKitchen]

I’ve been down my husband’s phone and found messages between him and his male friend. It goes like this:

• My husband sends a picture of his female colleague who he is due to stay away with for work “This is her”
• His friend: Nice! She looks a bit like (your wife)
• Husband: She’s 22 years old (aubergine emoji)
• His friend: Are you going to try it on?
• Husband: No, a few years ago maybe, but I’m more senior than her at work now, so can’t overstep the line. She’s so sweet though (aubergine emoji)
• His friend: We’ll see after a few pints
• My husband: 😂

OK. What do I do here? This trip was in the past and has happened, and I don’t think the woman went anywhere near my husband, however this conversation has disturbed me. I don’t want to split or anything drastic. Should I let him know I’ve been down his phone? If I do, he’ll change his password? I’m so angry. Am I being unreasonable?

Agree! Presume it’s the husband under several alias’ sending the first few replies! 🤦🏻‍♀️

😂

And for what it's worth, every man I've known who was willing to banter like this (I'm male), was also willing to cheat.

What do u mean by the term 'down' his phone?

That’s up to you. If a woman posted about her partner regularly checking her phone to make sure she wasn’t cheating, the responses would be very different.

The sharing of the photo is proper shit and would be the thing that I would be most pissed off about. No its not fine, I am not condoning it, but the message itself, well it wasn't quite that crude was it? He said 'are you going to go for it?' or something like that, not 'are you going to try and fuck her then?' He said no. But lads being lads he probably isn't going to say he won't go for it because he is happily married, or he will look like a dick in front of his mate. So he says, its because he is too senior (or whatever it was) Doesn't mean he would or has done anything.

So yes, it seemed more like lad banter to me. Stupid immature lads banter, I agree, but banter all the same.

From what she discovered, there is no proof he did cheat, or would have. I am not defending him, but people are so quick to jump to conclusions on here and just claim the OP should LTB.

People say stupid stuff sometimes and make cheeky comments in jest, but it doesn't necessarily mean they want to do it.

Its up to the OP what she does with the info she has discovered and how much it bothers her. If she thinks he has cheated then she should confront him with the messages and see what his reaction is.

Completely up to you, obviously, but I could not be with someone who was so emotionally stunted or recklessly unprofessional (to be texting that), let alone someone who objectifies women as sex objects. How would that woman feel if she knew? What would his manager say? Let alone the admission that he could have possibly tried it on with others during your marriage.

Nope. He's a horrible creep.

Some.men behave like this, they are unreasonable creeps and too many women laugh it off. It's absolutely not funny.

Pretty obvious what this means

Grim. Really really grim. Of him.

I’m definitely female, and also think looking through someone’s phone is bang out of order.

If you have such mistrust, justified or otherwise, split up.

I would leave my partner if I even felt I had the need to look through his things, because it would be an obvious sign something is wrong.

Is your partner secretive with his phone? Keeps it very close, closes apps/chats if you are near by?

Can you really not figure that one out for yourself?

No she hasn't.

I'm always surprised at the outrage on here when women find out what their partners have been doing by looking at their phones when the disloyal behaviour that is revealed by the snooping is just swept under the carpet as irrelevant.

This. It’s normal male banter. Those who snoop always end up feeling worse off.

Of course it's self explanatory but how what when why is that phrase ever used? Lol Is it something said up north or something?

It's not normal male banter though, it's not ok.

You're definitely not worse than him! He gave you reason to suspect, and if he won't communicate then 🤷🏼‍♀️
He is vile and objectifies young women. Ew. At the least.
Be on the lookout!

That conversation reads like his friend knows your husband cheats on you. Its the casual way he asks if hes going to try it on. Nobody asks that question if they dont already know the person they're asking fucks around.

Normal banter for Andrew Tate!

Stop being obtuse. Engage with the point of the thread or click on something else. Nobody is impressed.

I'm impressed

I wouldn't trust him any longer and I would presume he had probably cheated at some point in the past . That's a horrible dialogue between him and his friend. Sorry OP 😞

Sorry I just never heard the phrase before, shoot me for asking!

Yes he's a twat and you should divorce him immediately.

Better?

OP I’d be heartbroken by this and I wouldn’t be able to trust DH again. I’d 100% say I’d been through his phone and see what BS he comes up with. Either way, he doesn’t seem opposed to cheating. I’m sorry you found that.

What?????!!! The responses so far are bat shit.

He literally said the only reason he wouldn't try something he is because he is more senior, not because he has a wife.

Sit him down tell him what you've seen and that you are disgusted.