Adult children didn’t come down to meet their cousins baby

[AdEmRoJaAn]

Hi all, I have 5 children, DS are 25 and 22, DDs are 24, 19 and 17.

This weekend all 5 of them are staying at home as Friday night was my husbands birthday party.

Today my niece brought her 5 day old baby girl to come and meet us. My youngest 3 came downstairs and chatted, held baby etc. but my eldest 2 didn’t. DD is going through a break up and claims she was too tired as she didn’t really sleep last night and she doesn’t really like holding babies. DS said he just doesn’t get the hype but apologised. They were here for 3 hours so hardly like they didn’t have plenty of time to pop in.

AIBU to be absolutely raging that they were so bloody rude?

How rude
Were they not brought up to always come and say hello and goodbye to visitors x

DH went up and asked them down. Apparently DD was in bed crying and said she wouldn’t come down and he couldn’t make her and DS said he was going to sit with her and wasn’t interested in the baby or his cousin.

Maybe DD didn’t think she’d be able to hold it together for even a short time. She’s clearly struggling and coming and saying hello and then bursting into tears wouldn’t have exactly suited the celebratory atmosphere.

That said did they have a normal upbringing? My own upbringing was extremely insular and yet my parents were baffled as to why I lacked social skills and didn't have a clue how to respond on the rare occasions we had a guest.

Cross post with OP but seems like I was correct …..

OP I don’t understand why you didn’t go to their rooms and tell them to get their arses downstairs for 5 mins and then they could get back to whatever they were doing.

Not coming down isn’t the same as hiding away though. Maybe they just didn’t feel the need. Not everyone likes or gets on with their family.

It’s always suggested on here that women slope off to their bedroom when the MIL comes around. That’s ruder than just not showing your face at all.

So, your daughter was crying and your son was comforting her? How can you be raging about that?

On the surface yes this is rude but if your daughter has gone through a horrible break up why would she want someone parading their 'perfect little family' in front of her eyes. It's a bit insensitive to have the cousin to the house - could you not have met her in a cafe?

I think it’s deeply weird that you’re annoyed enough to post on the internet about this, when three of your five children came down to meet the baby and the two thst didn’t didn’t do so because one of them is grieving the end of a relationship and possibly feeling sad about her termination, and her sibling was sitting with her. That sounds like an entirely understandable decision for both.

Wow you sound very uncaring and hard hearted. You should put your daughter’s feeling before any perceived rudeness on your part.

This is one of many reasons i fizzled out and fizzled a way from my family.
It was like being forced to be happy around people i had no interest in.
I felt like a visitor in my own family home in the end iyswim.
Even as a child being told to hug and kiss family members yuk.
Go play with your cousins etc.
Just felt all forced to me.
You may like it op but your kids may not.
Huge fuss made over the simpler things i just didnt get it.
Jans hurt her head let make a fuss for a week go make a get well card for uncle tom.
Give nanny a kiss come say hi to your cousin dont be rude.
The list goes on.
I couldn't stand it i left home early and never went back.

What the hell!! Why on earth didn’t you get rid of said cousin and comfort your own children?’ I just don’t understand why you prioritised the way you did! And allowed it to drag on for 3 hours. It is spectacularly poor parenting op, shocking. I am sorry but your dd sounds like she is devastated and you thought I know I’ll bring a newborn baby over for the afternoon. Jesus Christ.

YABU. Not everyone likes or cares about babies.

Well, you gave birth to them, nurtured them, brought them up………..what happened to the lessons in good manners??

They don't even live there! They were just staying there for their father's birthday. OP was making a huge drama out of nothing.

Good manner would be not expecting the sobbing daughter and the brother comforting her to come down to see a baby they can see any time when they’re feeling better.

yup but you actually wanted one.

I cannot imagine this happening in my family. We'd have been queuing up for a cuddle with the newborn.

Notwithstanding, not everyone is too fussed about babies but in my family it would be completely unacceptable for someone to stay in their bedroom for three hours while a relative visited. My mother would have dragged you out kicking and screaming but she never needed to. We'd been raised to behave.

sounds fair enough to me.

Hear hear!

Huge overreaction. You sound utterly smothering and pretty unbearable. Be very careful you don’t drive them away with your histrionics

Agree with pp, a 5 minute hello is required to be polite. They can leave after that. Never mind whether they like babies, what about saying hi to their cousin?

Have you read the ops update? Her daughter was upstairs crying her heart out and her brother was comforting her!

Urgh, rude as fuck and immature.