Over familiar shop assistant

[StinkyCheeseMoose]

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

Incredibly rude to blatantly ignore someone. She’s only trying to be pleasant.

Hmmm. Consider yourself lucky.

A quite gossipy cashier in my local tesco, who i don't know from Adam, once asked me how my kids are (she's seen them at different times, i've got 4, they weren't with me) and then asked me straight out if they've all got the same dad ! 😳

I was so gob smacked at the nosiness i opened and closed my mouth a few times like a gold fish and then just told her.

I couldn't think of anything else to say! I've avoided her since.

I feel a bit sad for you, tbh. I can't imagine getting so wound up about normal social interaction.

I worked on a checkout until l retired last year, and honestly, you can't win.
If you make small talk, some people don't like it. If you don't, you're being rude and miserable.
As someone commented earlier, it's the only bit of human contact some people get. I had 'regulars' who would come to my checkout even if l had a queue, so we could have a bit of a chat while l scanned their shopping.
I live alone, and l don't know anyone where l live besides my immediate neighbours, so it was nice to have someone to chat to, even if it was just about the weather or, in the case of my regulars, about their pets or their kids.
Of course we don't know what the other person has going on in their life, but that works both ways, but you can be polite even if you don't want to chat.
It doesn't hurt to say good morning, goodbye and thank you. Some ignore you completely, or behave like you're so far below them they barely acknowledge your existence.
I always make a point of saying hello to the person on the till, and even if we don't have a conversation, l say thank you, and something like 'I hope the rest of your day goes well.' I've never had a bad reaction to that.

Throw her off and buy a twirl

Poor retail workers can't fucking win. They're either too friendly or not friendly enough.

@katseyes7 That's treating fellow humans with respect.
My Dw work's at ASDA and we go to same checkout person as she's friendly and efficient.she also has her regulars and I appreciate she might be the only person they speak to in a week so if it takes a wee bit longer to get through so be it👍😁

The alternative is answering a question that you don’t want to and IMO is therefore not rude. I imagine that the OP said hello etc but chose to ignore a question. We’ll have to agree to disagree ✌🏼

It does work both ways though. I had someone from Royal Mail collect a parcel today, answered the door promptly, handed the parcel over. As I was handing it over he glared at me and said ‘Come to pick a parcel up’, and I thought he was asking me for a fight. I swear! He was all bunched up, aggressive. Weird bloke.

I kinda get rude and people not wanting to chat but I’m not partial to aggression.

She's hardly asking anything personal 🤣

You're just a rude, miserable cow tbh to point blank refuse to acknowledge her

Comes off as "how dare you speak to me? You are the HELP, do not dare think you are worthy of speaking to a better."

I find it odd you have a flake every day to be honest. It would probably be cheaper to buy a multipack or buy in bulk online and then you don't have to buy one.

Yeah I was thinking this

😂😂

I imagine with a face like thunder and a rigid set to the shoulders.

She won't get the pleasure of being rude to a friendly shop assistant, give her something to bang down on the counter with the paper.

Yanbu! I’d hate this. I don’t mind small talk at all, but ooh you love flakes feels patronising and judgmental.

Shall we guess what the paper is? I say The Daily Telegraph.

She's probably on a mission to get you to engage with her now. I know I would be 😂

You sound fun.

But she hasn't asked any personal questions...

😂😂😂

I work on a supermarket checkout and you would absolutely hate me.

I wouldn’t want to tell a stranger what I was having for lunch 🙈

Yeah, she's not asking her what she thinks about Gaza, it's a 2 minute chit chat.

Why? Is it something really weird?