Over familiar shop assistant

[StinkyCheeseMoose]

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

Whatever you do, never visit Ireland, you’ll hate it. 😉

What I came to say too.

Also, Op, I enjoyed your writing style. Hopefully, you won’t think it patronising of me to say you should be a writer.

🤣🤣🤣

I am an introvert at heart, but kindness costs nothing. Thank god , not everyone is like you. What a miserable world it would be(!)

🤣🤣🤣

Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful

I honestly think she added that last bit to deliberately wind you up since she had you marked as a grump 😅

People who work with the general public can never win "They ignored me how rude" "They spoke to me how dare they".
Op do you ignore other people in your life when they speak to you or just people you think you're better then, if your manager asked you what you're having for lunch would you blank them?

A Greigs sausage roll and a flake!? I assume the newspaper was The Daily Mail.

I would hate this too.

Aren’t you freezing? You’ve caught the sun! Aren’t you hot in that? All seem friendly but in my mind are just ways of calling you a dickhead.

I think it’s rude to comment on something someone is buying.

I am fun and I’m not rude but I think it’s actually her that’s rude, not you.

She doesn't sound over familiar - it's just friendly chit chat! Unless she starts telling you about her ailments or probing you about yours then I'd just let it go.

She sounds harmless enough and there will be many people who appreciate a bit of a chat when they buy their paper and snacks. She doesn't know that you're a boring old bugger does she? (though she might now!)

Exactly! Nice customer service that isn’t it? I’m sure the owner of the shop would love that attitude!

You buy a flake every day? 😮And sausage rolls from Greggs? 😮
What on earth has happened to Mumsnet? 😥

It’s not rude to not want to answer a personal question from a stranger!

Everything’s gone to shit. I blame the drought.

You old misery guts. Why don’t take in a packed lunch in and buy family pack of Flakes in your weekly shop and go for a walk at lunch time then, you wouldn’t have to interact with anyone.

Im thinking you have probably have never had to work for a minimum wage ?

She is just being friendly and making conversation. I don't see the problem.

I hate small talk and chit chat with shop assistants, but this wouldn’t have even registered as something to be angry about. She’s just making normal, mildly annoying conversation. I know I’m the unreasonable one for hating the small talk so I just get on with it, and talk back for the 15 seconds of my day it takes up.

I don’t think it’s normal for you to feel this much rage for something so banal and benign.

Where is this High Street? 1989?

Why don’t you just buy your flake in bulk at the supermarket and read your newspaper online?

Totally normal in my local shop, its just being friendly. Its her job

It’s become obese.

Can't say I've ever considered my lunch to be a private affair. I had leftover pizza today and I don't care who knows about it!

YANBU.

I am an extremely social person, always end up talking to people wherever I go and worked in a shop for years. You pick up pretty quickly who the customers that want/need to chat and those who don't are.

You tell grown adults they must be cold because...they're grown adults who know how to dress themselves comfortably.

You don't comment on what people are buying.

If a customer has made it quite clear they're not interested in your small talk, you stop pushing it on them. You're being paid to do a job so do it and stop pestering customers or they'll go elsewhere.

Who knew I was a secret grump 😂

Yabvu 😭😭

Completely ignoring someone speaking to you while you buy something is rude. It's treating them like a bloody vending machine. You don't have to want to answer their question, you don't even have to answer it you can say any vaguely polite thing you want to, but yes, ignoring them is rude.