So fed up with live-in landlords

[EternalLodga]

I live in a city where rent is so high many of my friends and I are forced to be lodgers. There are SO MANY live-in landlords who are so unsuited to this gig.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot, as they basically take hefty rent off you and do whatever the hell they like.

My landlord just announced his daughter is going to spend 3 months in the spare room. Okay?

A friend of mine, on the day they moved into the house, the landlady had a party (the move in day was established weeks in advance).

They make a load off your back while also trying to rope you into doing deep cleans of their house while monopolising the communal areas.

In my experience and much to my surprise, the worst ones have been the most vocally left wing. Ive been trying to put my finger on why that is (im left wing myself) and I think its because they actually feel embarrassed about what they're doing, so their boundaries are completely fucked. Whereas the less "bleeding heart" ones see it as a simple transaction where you uphold your end, they uphold theirs.

One landlady actually told me when I could shower "to save on electricity bills". Honey, I pay you 800 quid a month: ill shower when I like??!

Sorry for the rant but im so sick of totally inappropriate people stepping into this role.

I might be naive, but if this is common for you and many of your friends can you not rent a place together? Share with people you know, rather than random landlords?

You sound bizarrely entitled... like your landlord said his DAUGHTER is moving in and you have a problem with it? Or they want you to clean common areas where you a presumably allowed to live??

Aren't lodgers generally just renting a room? I don't see the issue with the owners daughter being in the spare room

Yes I do have a problem with it? Im not a guest, its my home too.
Rent is supposed to reflect how much space you have and who you are sharing with.

The shower schedule thing is ridiculous but you are renting a room, she can have whoever else she likes in other rooms, surely?

If im only renting a room, what's the logic for cleaning the communal areas then?

I’ve never heard of a live in landlord but what you’re describing sound like being a lodger, is that what you are?
I've been a lodger and in my experience it’s a very different arrangement and expectation level than renting a place. It’s their home, you are just living in it. You abide by house rules (such as showering times) as part of the agreement and to be a civil human being who is staying in someone else’s home.

Presumably she signed an agreement on the premise that there would be one other person in the house, not two. It would completely change the dynamics, the noise level, the comfort etc, plus the bills would be higher.

I disagree. Its their HOUSE. But its our home.

Otherwise, they should just do Airbnb.

The only thing I think is unreasonable from what you have said is the shower one.

The trade off for lodging being cheaper than a house share is that you're not an equal partner in the house.

'Live in landlord' is a weird way to turn it around.

It's their house.

You're the one who's come to live in it.

A lodger has exclusive use of a room plus shared use of kitchen and bathroom and, in some cases but not always, the living room.

Who else lives in the house is not something you get a say in.

If you dont like it then find another room to rent. If you've got several friends who are in the same situation then suggest you all rent together, that way its a proper house share rather than you being a lodger.
Its more secure and you've got a say in who else lives there.

You are a lodger, not a sharer.

It’s her home and you are basically a paying guest.

it’s up to you whether you accept her house rules or not - you are free to move elsewhere.

I'm sorry, but you have no rights really as a paying guest in somebody else's home. You benefit from communal areas so should help to keep these clean. It's not a hotel.

Cleaning up after yourself is one thing - deep cleaning a common area is an entirely different beast. Live in landlords who expect that are clearly wanting a free cleaning service

Wow that’s quite an attitude. You rent a room in their home. Unless they are breaking the terms you agreed they can do what they like.,

Yes it's usual for both of you to clean communal areas like the kitchen and bathroom after use.

It is their property and they can do what they want with the rooms that you don't rent including having people to stay or family move in.

If so many of your friends and yourself are lodgers in this same city why don't you all get together and rent a place together?

But that's exactly my point.
They might not be technically breaking any terms, but thats like me saying I should feel free to jump a queue of frail old ladies, because there are no laws against it.

Don't be so ridiculous.

Why is that ridiculous? Its a direct analogy

I'm a leftie. I've had the same experience with vocal lefties (well anyone vocal tbh) so dont speak about it aside from on mn 😭

Yanbu, what a bellend youre having to deal with x

Are you very new to being a lodger, OP? Because what you’re saying sounds pretty standard. You’re not an equal partner in house decisions, and it’s often not a lot of fun. That’s why it’s comparatively cheap.

But, as a pp said, why not get together with your other lodger friends and rent a house or flat together?

Why is it your home but not theirs? They are not live-in landlords, they are homeowners who are letting out a room to a lodger. The rules are quite different and you have far fewer rights than you would as a tenant. Why don't you choose an HMO if you don't like the dynamics of living with the homeowner?

If you use an area, you help keep it clean.

You live in someone else's house, so you act sensitively and thoughtfully about when you do certain things.

I shared a house with an older lady for a while. I made sure I was upstairs and QUIET in my room at 9ish-pm. I didn't shower or bath after about 8pm at night. I regularly cleaned the kitchen and living room, including washing the floor, hoovering, wiping down counters, doing windows etc. When I cooked, I did all my dishes and also hers too sometimes, trying to be thoughtful. Sometimes I cooked for her too (and she for me). I never had my partner over to stay, although she had hers. It was her house, not mine.

I DID get up and leave for work a lot earlier than her, so I WOULD shower in the mornings. But other than that, I made a concerted effort not to be noisy in the house in the morning. Would creep downstairs. Carefully close the front door without banging it etc.

I'm sorry if you think the system is unfair. But it is what it is. A lodger has very few rights.

I think it’s a measure of how shit the housing market & renting landscape is really - where being a lodger is never the same as renting your own place but increasingly the only way to be able to afford to. It’s not great OP but you need to reframe that your landlord is not live in but the homeowner & that you lodge in one of their spare rooms. Maybe think what the benefits of the arrangement are for you - there must be some? Presumably a nicer environment? No antisocial stuff? Considerably cheaper rent enabling you to save or have a better QOL overall?