So fed up with live-in landlords

[EternalLodga]

I live in a city where rent is so high many of my friends and I are forced to be lodgers. There are SO MANY live-in landlords who are so unsuited to this gig.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot, as they basically take hefty rent off you and do whatever the hell they like.

My landlord just announced his daughter is going to spend 3 months in the spare room. Okay?

A friend of mine, on the day they moved into the house, the landlady had a party (the move in day was established weeks in advance).

They make a load off your back while also trying to rope you into doing deep cleans of their house while monopolising the communal areas.

In my experience and much to my surprise, the worst ones have been the most vocally left wing. Ive been trying to put my finger on why that is (im left wing myself) and I think its because they actually feel embarrassed about what they're doing, so their boundaries are completely fucked. Whereas the less "bleeding heart" ones see it as a simple transaction where you uphold your end, they uphold theirs.

One landlady actually told me when I could shower "to save on electricity bills". Honey, I pay you 800 quid a month: ill shower when I like??!

Sorry for the rant but im so sick of totally inappropriate people stepping into this role.

This. Again, it’s why it’s cheap.

So you’re a lodger

If her daughter is moving in then your rent should be reduced. The home that was shared between two is being shared between 3 and your rent should reflect that.

They are not a live in landlord it is their home, you are a live in lodger. Also if you are using communal spaces then you should also share the cleaning. I agree the shower schedule is a bit much though.

OP you are Soooo entitled , it’s bonkers. You are a lodger not a tenant.

my spidey senses tell me that this landlord wouldn’t ask you to reconsider if you handed your notice in

You clearly know you’re just a lodger in this arrangement given you user name @EternalLodga

OP - are u a bloke ?

OP, you can't expect a veto over whether a homeowner has their daughter move in if there's a spare room for her. That's pretty plainly absurd- no parent on this earth is going to put a lodger's preferences over their child's need for a home.

But you should be able to discuss what it means for things like bathroom access and use of the communal areas, so that you can decide if the arrangement still works for you.

Similarly, they should let you know about parties and you should split the cleaning of communal areas fairly.

The truth of it, as others have said, is that it's a setup fraught with challenges and only works where both sides are getting what they need and can rub along without too much tension- and even then, perhaps only for a short time.

Reading the thread I don't get the sense you're very willing to see it from the homeowner's point of view (you're very unsympathetic to people who find they can't afford their homes without help any more, but I wonder if you'll feel differently when you've been in yours for some years, done work on it and built up memories etc).

But it's not really the point: the point is you want more of a say in the home you live in, so you're getting one of your own. That's as it should be, and a great thing for you; it just doesn't mean lodging is an inherently unreasonable deal.

I'm in the camp saying it isn't shared accomodation. It's not a house share. It's a paying guest.

😄😄 so many are just full of shit - never see them volunteering at a foodbank do you

The funniest ones are the ones who detest the tories but like their (tory) MP so had to vote for them (aka worried about increases in landlord costs)

That’s not how lodging works

we once rented an apartment (not a room, an apartment. We had exclusive rights to our rental unit btw and were not lodgers) with the wieners also living in the same house (just a different apartment).

They suddenly wanted to use „our“ cellar compartment/storage compartment (which we had exclusive rights to according to our rental contract). Then they said that we couldn’t use the garden (which was also included in our rental agreement) because they couldn’t use „our“ cellar compartment / the storage room we were paying rent for.

It was really uncomfortable and nasty. Ended up with one of the owners and his brother trying to intimidate us…

They didn’t manage to separate being home owners (with the power to use every room however they wished / whenever they wanted) and being landlords. They also expected us to be thankful. (Thankful? When we were simply renting an apartment?)

Based on that experience I would assume that being a lodger has the potential to be considerably worse.

yes, I’m aware that being a lodger / OP‘s situation isn’t quite the same. But being on uneven footing in your own home (edit: or in the same house but separate apartments) only works if both parties treat each other with decency and mutual respect.

I'm with you OP, the landlord is being unreasonable. You agreed to rent that room on the basis that you would be living in a house with X amount of people, and now the landlord is going back on that agreement and moving in one more person.

Always avoid a live-in landlord - they really do just see you as a guest in their place although they're very happy to take your money. I did it twice when I first moved to London and would never do it again.

Unless the rent you're paying is well below the market rate for a room in standard shared house, I'd move out asap. The good thing about being a lodger is that you don't normally have to give notice so you could leave as soon as you find a better place.

People also want to pay less than a houseshare by lodging, but then expect to have the same options as a houseshare.

Yep, and a guest, paying or not, should feel comfortable in the lodgings. So many are resented for their need, and asked to be silent amd invisible

people want the perks of the added income but don’t expect to have to compromise the way you would in shared accommodation normally.

Because it’s not shared accommodation. Having a lodger does require some compromise of space and privacy, people don’t do it for the company.

Owners. Not wieners 😅

It's not a houseshare. The lodge is for sole use of the room, and use of the communal areas - it's not equal to half of the house.

That's a houseshare - where all costs are divided equally amongst tenants.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot

Don't be daft @EternalLodga . Baby boomers invented house-shares. I lived in a share house until I was 35, then I bought a house (interest rates were 15% at the time ...) and because of far lower wages than nowadays & high interest rates, I had a lodger.

Your landlord is perfectly entitled to have his daughter live in his house. What's your problem with that?

No it’s isn’t the term, you do not have a tenancy so they are not a “landlord” you rent a room in their home under licence with limited access to communal areas and rules, that’s why it’s so much cheaper and flexible than a tenancy. Don’t get me wrong it’s my idea of hell, but if you don’t like it get together with some of the friends you mention in the same situation and rent a place together.

I don't think it is cheaper though? At least in London people expect the same rental income as a room in a houseshare... so you pay the price but have less rights.

Do you have a tenancy agreement which sets out whether either of you can have guests, use of common spaces, cleaning etc?

That’s a shame if true, but it doesn’t change the facts. A lodger is not a tenant and they don’t have the same rights and shouldn’t expect them.

Don’t mistake me, I feel sorry for anyone caught in this situation but it doesn’t mean homeowners who take lodgers are trying to fleece them. Many are just trying to manage their own living costs.

Honestly, I would treat it like a houseshare.
So for example if a family member wanted to stay for 3 months, I'd ask my lodger whether that was okay with them.
I would keep an eye on how much I'm hogging the living room and maybe make a point once or twice a week of watching TV in bed one evening, or going out, so the lodger also felt like they could actually relax on their own every now and then.
From the moment they moved in I would ask how they think we should split chores.
I would charge just below market rate, to take into account my personal belief (that the market is inflated) and to reflect the imbalance
Most importantly if I felt like I didn't want to share my space equally with a person I would probably downsize rather than live with someone