So fed up with live-in landlords

[EternalLodga]

I live in a city where rent is so high many of my friends and I are forced to be lodgers. There are SO MANY live-in landlords who are so unsuited to this gig.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot, as they basically take hefty rent off you and do whatever the hell they like.

My landlord just announced his daughter is going to spend 3 months in the spare room. Okay?

A friend of mine, on the day they moved into the house, the landlady had a party (the move in day was established weeks in advance).

They make a load off your back while also trying to rope you into doing deep cleans of their house while monopolising the communal areas.

In my experience and much to my surprise, the worst ones have been the most vocally left wing. Ive been trying to put my finger on why that is (im left wing myself) and I think its because they actually feel embarrassed about what they're doing, so their boundaries are completely fucked. Whereas the less "bleeding heart" ones see it as a simple transaction where you uphold your end, they uphold theirs.

One landlady actually told me when I could shower "to save on electricity bills". Honey, I pay you 800 quid a month: ill shower when I like??!

Sorry for the rant but im so sick of totally inappropriate people stepping into this role.

YABU.

I can remember my sister making similar complaints when she was a lodger in a flat in the late 1980s. How dare the homeowner move his girlfriend into his room without DS's permission? How dare the GF then reorganise the fridge? How dare her landlord dictate required levels of hygiene in the loo and kitchen he owned? DS must have been an absolute nightmare to live with.

Needless to say she was given notice to quit pretty soon. And equally needless to say once she was able to rent and later own her own place she absolutely required things were done her way!

Errrrrr... Yes. I am a lodger.

Living off people’s basic need to house themselves - do you expect them to do it for free?

The home isn’t being shared between two, OP is a lodger with zero responsibilities for maintaining the property, likely don’t own any of the furniture or appliances, name not on the utilises or council tax so they can skip off if they want.

There should be.an agreement so everyone knows where they stand but it’s plainly not the case that this is a home shared between two people.

You are making it sound as if it’s a flat or house share, being a lodger is not this.

erm it’s most definitely not your home you just rent a room. Where has this made up term come from live in landlords? They are just living in their house and you choose to rent their spare room?

Why don’t you rent with friends so you have proper rights rather than being a glorified other persons mortgage payer with no rights?

Yeah I was a lodger. I hoped to stay till I could afford to buy but decided piece of mind is priceless.

It cost me £800 more to live alone and for me it is worth every penny.

But I know I am lucky in that regard. A lot of live-in-landlords / sublets just do it because they need the money and it shows. Mine needed everything to be his way with no allowance whatsoever.

Im still not understanding people's hangups with the word "landlord" in this scenario.

Is it a selfperception issue? Like, if you call yourself a "homeowner" you get to feel like you're just running a kind of cosy inoffensive operation, and if you use the word "landlord", you feel evil or something? The government literally calls it being a landlord:

https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home

I rent out a room in my house. I charge £650.
I rent it out as my mortgage went up by £400 and my son needs some additional help at school, which I am paying privately for.

I have a really lovely lady who has lived in my house since August. She cleans her own room and she cleans up after herself in the kitchen. She doesn’t clean the communal areas apart from her own mess in the kitchen and I have never asked her to. I do it on my days off.

I normally do the general jobs but she put the bins out for me when I was on holiday.

None of us really sit in the lounge so it’s empty most of the time. The kitchen/ dining room is open to everyone but we always seem to end up in there at different times anyway due to work/ shifts/ life.

I dont think I’m taking advantage of her in any way and I don’t think she is taking advantage. It’s a way for me to make money and it’s cheaper for her than renting on her own plus paying bills. To rent a 3 bed house where I live would be about £1500 - £1600. I’m not suggesting she would need that but that is an indication of cost in the area.

So I don’t think I am a rogue landlord or anything because if I was presumably she would move out.

I don’t think we are best friends but we have become friendly acquaintances and I will miss her when she eventually moves out.

But this is her point. She is paying to live there - maybe she would not live there had she known he would do that. No notice, nothing just accept it and keep paying the same rent but now a living space she had access to is out of bounds.

Sorry, you are being unreasonable. You are a lodger not a tenant. I understand why you are fed up with it but it as not really their fault. You are just renting a room in their house but you want to be treated as though it were a flatshare, you’ll never get that as a lodger.

No, the spare room is not a room she has access to, as a lodger.

You sound great.

And your division of chores sounds good too.

This is what I'm talking about with these pisstake live-in landlords! They don't take the same approach as you. With mine, I:

• Clean my room
• Clean up after myself in bathroom and kitchen

But also:

• Do a "proper clean" of the bathroom and kitchen once a fortnight
• Handle the bins every other time
• Hoover once a fortnight (including the living room which I never go in because he's always in there)
• Buy cleaning supplies, washing up liquid, TP etc every other time

And thats not uncommon. Like they want you to pay their mortgage but they also want you to clean their house and keep it stocked "because its yoir home too" - except when it comes to when you can put a fucking load of laundry on or who comes to crash for months on end in the spare room, when suddenly youre "just a lodger" and "its not your home".

It drives me insane.

If it wasn’t cheaper or had other advantages (e.g. flexibility, not being responsible for bills etc) people wouldn’t do it, so it must be.

When you factor in the bills being included, it usually is cheaper. Otherwise people would just house share

I guess what im wondering is why you wouldn't just treat your lodger like its a houseshare. I know there is a difference in legal status, and that's reflected in eg notice that can be given. Im not talking about the legal requirements here. Im just talking on a human level. I don't understand why you would choose to share your home with someone and not treat them like an equal. Its why to me at least, these kinds of live-in landlords are baffling. I find it so weird you wouldn't feel incredibly awkward about it all, the only way you would be able to make it acceptable to yourself is if you somehow dehumanise your lodgers in your minds eye. And I think that must be what's going on in this thread, with people's weird refusal of the term "landlord".

This mansplaining what a landlord should do, by the person renting a room, is why I think this entitled egocentric perspective is coming from a bloke !
’yeah, I’m renting a room, but I need space to spread these legs … in this here house !’

OP I can see why you feel aggrieved, some of those requirements sound over and above what a lodger should have to do, especially buying cleaning supplies.

My DC have both had lodgers and they were much more accommodating. They were also careful to pick people they thought they would get on with, which makes sharing a whole lot easier.

You’re kind of contradicting yourself here - on the one hand, you scoff at landlords thinking they’re doing some kind of social service renting out a room, but on the other you suggest that if you did it you’d charge “just below market rate”, so you do see it as some kind of charity.

That's true, it is a bit of a contradiction!

YABU there is no such thing as a live in landlord. You are a lodger in their home! If you don’t like it, get your own place. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Having read my way through the thread, I'm still at a total loss as to why OP objects so strongly to the home owner letting his daughter move in for a few months. . Unless, of course, she sells class A drugs outside primary school, but I rather think that little detail would have appeared on the first page.

Feels like OP is a lodger with tenant aspirations.

OP you could ask for a rent decrease given that there's now an extra person in the house. If the landlord has any sense, he'll accept it, as he'll find it a lot harder to rent your room for the same price if there's an extra person living in the house.

Are there such things as 'live-out lodgers'? That sounds great!

But yeah, I think you are absolutely right. Some live-in lodgers are entitled as hell.

If anyone wants to pay me to not live here, let me know!