So fed up with live-in landlords

[EternalLodga]

I live in a city where rent is so high many of my friends and I are forced to be lodgers. There are SO MANY live-in landlords who are so unsuited to this gig.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot, as they basically take hefty rent off you and do whatever the hell they like.

My landlord just announced his daughter is going to spend 3 months in the spare room. Okay?

A friend of mine, on the day they moved into the house, the landlady had a party (the move in day was established weeks in advance).

They make a load off your back while also trying to rope you into doing deep cleans of their house while monopolising the communal areas.

In my experience and much to my surprise, the worst ones have been the most vocally left wing. Ive been trying to put my finger on why that is (im left wing myself) and I think its because they actually feel embarrassed about what they're doing, so their boundaries are completely fucked. Whereas the less "bleeding heart" ones see it as a simple transaction where you uphold your end, they uphold theirs.

One landlady actually told me when I could shower "to save on electricity bills". Honey, I pay you 800 quid a month: ill shower when I like??!

Sorry for the rant but im so sick of totally inappropriate people stepping into this role.

If it's an inflated market rate, why did you take it. Presumably there were others cheaper places, node reflective of the market rate?

I meant the market is inflated

Sigh. OP, you're spectacularly missing the point of a lot of the responses here.

A houseshare is when several people come together to rent a house together from a landlord. There may be internal negotiations between tenants about rent and housework, but fundamentally the landlord doesn't have an interest in how these are split.

An HMO involves individuals renting rooms, or bedsits, from a landlord. They are charged direct rent by the landlord with no negotiation. There may be some communal areas, in which case there may be internal negotiations between tenants about housework and cleaning, to meet expectations set in advance by the landlord or agency. HMOs over a certain size sometimes need to be licensed by the council.

A live-in landlord is usually when you have an HMO in which one room or floor is occupied by the landlord. The house is otherwise run like an HMO; that is, the assumption is that tenants rent directly from the landlord, and general expectations about cleaning are set by them.

A lodger is someone who rents a room in someone else's home. The income from this isn't taxed, unlike if you're buying a property to let. That's because the assumption is that this is a much less formal arrangement and the house remains the landlord's home. If you get lucky, it works beautifully and you make a friend. But often it's awkward, as people don't always really want to have a stranger in their home, they just need the income; and it can be hard to set boundaries that aren't overbearing or leave the lodger feeling very limited. There will be an expectation that you pitch in to housework if you're using the shared areas. But it's unlikely that your landlord is going to remove themselves from those areas to give you space, as it's their home.

You're a lodger. Your landlord isn't a live-in landlord, because it's not an HMO. It's your landlord's home. I don't know how many times people can say this to you in different ways. You may have a desperately unhappy lodging, but nevertheless, it's not unreasonable for your landlord to have someone else stay in their home whenever they like for as long as they like, because it's their home and you're just the lodger. And yes, you still have to clean the loo from time to time. Soz.

Do you have house share expectations with lodger rent? Or are you being charged market rate for a house share?

A long time ago
I rented a room in a family home
I told them I worked long hours, which I did, 6 days a week, 3 different jobs.
I was in the kitchen eating breakfast & the LL said that his wife said that I made too much noise in the kitchen in the morning.(untrue)
From that point on, I ate my breakfast on the way to work.
I ate all my meals out of the house, due to working.
I only slept there & used bathroom.

I found somewhere else to live.

As I left, I remember saying to the wife "you want the money, but you don't want people in your home" !

I hoped that their next tenant was loud, cooked & lived like a normal lodger.

I was the perfect person, because I was never there !

I saved up to buy my own property eventually

OP You are very funny.

No, I think OP is a bloke

OP, if you were a live in landlord, what would your approach be to people like yourself? How would you ensure that your lodgers would feel good about the lodging situation?

I do get you, OP. I've also heard wild stories about insane rules such as showering only between very specific hours or only using one specific plate/cup/bowl.

We had 2 short-term lodgers in our spare room before dc was born. One lovely, one bat shit. But while I totally expected them to clean up the kitchen and bathroom, I wouldn't have expected thrm to clean the living room as they chose to not use it.

If we had visitors, we'd slways discuss it first because you are right, it's your home too and having an extra person/people means more traffic, mess and waiting around for communal area use.

I don’t think the OP understands what a lodger is.

Of course you are only there because they need the money.

It is not a house share, or a HMO. It is entirely possible that a landlord might be one of the residents in a HMO or a house share, but they are very different arrangements.

I think your expectations aren't right for the lodger set up but the other thing is that when you agreed to lodge with someone, it was totally open to you to set out your expectations and check how they felt about it.

You could have said:

What I expect is to be consulted about visitors/guests, no parties without agreement, I can use the communal areas but I don't want to clean them, etc.

I mean I think no one would have wanted you as a lodger but if you think these stipulations are reasonable, you could/should have made them

Like when I was a lodger it was because I was working shifts so I made clear to potential landlords that they would need to be ok with me coming in and out at strange hours.

YANBU - people here proving your point as if you have less rights because you aren’t a home owner.

people want the perks of the added income but don’t expect to have to compromise the way you would in shared accommodation normally. It’s awkward coz of the power dynamic that they own the place. Things can get awkward with heating as you are eating in to their profit margins but you deserve to be warm etc. awkward!

You don’t seem to understand what a lodger is OP.

You are renting a room in someone else’s house.

The homeowner you are lodging with is not your landlord and owes you nothing other then the room you rent on the terms you agreed.

You can use the communal areas and you’re expected to help clean the area that you use, but the home owner sets the rules because it’s their property and also their home.

What worries me is that you probably don’t realise you have absolutely no legal rights. You could be asked to leave tomorrow with no recourse.

As a PP said, rent a property with some of the friends who you say are in a similar position. Or go into a house share with housemates chosen by the landlord. DS did this and it worked well, he met his future partner through a house share.

I've had some terrible experiences with live-in landlords.

One set up cameras in the communal area without telling me or the other female lodger for 'security reasons'.

Another text me at midnight after I left clean plates to dry on the drying rack. This after letting out a mouldy room, with a 'weeping wall'.

A prospective male live-in landlord asked me on a date after I went to view his property 😱

OP, look for a houseshare with no live-in landlord - so much better.

I can tell you that the last time I wanted to let my spare room, I gave up because none of the people who came to view it seemed to be taking the conditions that I had put in the advert seriously. Two people who came to view tried to argue that they should be able to have their small children move in with them. The room is tiny and only takes a single bed.

Agree with you. You pay rent for 2adult accommodation and with no consultation your LL moves in their daughter. Introducing a new adult and difficult dynamic. Agree it’s crap

Once lived with a live in landlord who setup cctv in the communal areas and wouldn't allow a bin in the kitchen to discourage it's use.

Landlords are just lucky parasites.

You’ve got it all arseways.

You’re paying for a room, and use of the common parts, together with whoever else lives there. It’s totally up to them if they get someone else to live in another spare room in the house.

I don’t know what you mean by deep clean but it’s normal to expect you to join in cleaning those parts of the house you use.

The party is a little odd, but it’s their house. It’s not an equal relationship like housemates. It’s certainly not akin to landlord and tenants.

I just think having a live in landlord is a horrible dynamic.

I once went to rent a entire house, and they were really fussy about the whole place, got me to take my shoes off instantly because they were scared of the new carpets, talked about the house being their special project and went on and on about their connection with it and how much work they had put in and I just thought I don't want to live here because you are so attached to this house and you see it as your home, and if I live in it it will be my home, not yours. So anyway it put me right off and I didn't rent there.

It's the same sort of thing. The live in landlords see it as their home, not a shared space and you are living under someone else's rules. It's worse than living with your parents. At least with my parents I could have a go at them for being nobs every now and then.

I just such an unpeaceful way to live and I find it quite exploitative to be honest if someone doesn't allow you to contribute or negotiate with house rules because they're taking advantage of your difficult financial situation. They know you can't afford anything bigger, so you can't argue with their unreasonable house rules or you will be homeless.

Ordinary people, who work full time and are financially sensible are struggling to afford housing and no these people don't deserve to live under the thumb of exploitative landlords.

Hey was this in Slough, was this the same guy who cctved where I lived and told a female prospective tenant she was lucky to get cat called on the way over.

People are weird about lodgers & think they are doing you a favour. I would not be suited to having a lodger in my home so I don't.

@Giraffapuses No, this was in London. Can't believe there are more despicable landlords like this out there!

But she literally does have less rights, because she's neither a home owner nor a tenant. Lodgers have very few rights - and they certainly don't have the right to tell their landlord who can and can't stay in the house.

Seems I missed the memo on having to treat them as sub-human.

😆 It's weird how so many landlords resent their lodgers but desperately need the money.

people want the perks of the added income but don’t expect to have to compromise the way you would in shared accommodation normally.

this