So fed up with live-in landlords

[EternalLodga]

I live in a city where rent is so high many of my friends and I are forced to be lodgers. There are SO MANY live-in landlords who are so unsuited to this gig.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot, as they basically take hefty rent off you and do whatever the hell they like.

My landlord just announced his daughter is going to spend 3 months in the spare room. Okay?

A friend of mine, on the day they moved into the house, the landlady had a party (the move in day was established weeks in advance).

They make a load off your back while also trying to rope you into doing deep cleans of their house while monopolising the communal areas.

In my experience and much to my surprise, the worst ones have been the most vocally left wing. Ive been trying to put my finger on why that is (im left wing myself) and I think its because they actually feel embarrassed about what they're doing, so their boundaries are completely fucked. Whereas the less "bleeding heart" ones see it as a simple transaction where you uphold your end, they uphold theirs.

One landlady actually told me when I could shower "to save on electricity bills". Honey, I pay you 800 quid a month: ill shower when I like??!

Sorry for the rant but im so sick of totally inappropriate people stepping into this role.

Don't you use the bathroom and kitchen then? Are they supposed to clean up after you if you do?
As PPs have said they're not a live in landlord, you are a lodger. Don't like it rent a place on your own.

You rent a room in a house and you’re mad that the empty room might also have someone in it. I mean it’s a house share of course empty rooms will be used. Again of course communal rooms you use you should help clean that’s basic manners. You wouldn’t leave the bathroom a mess would you? So why would you leave the shared living room a mess or not run a hoover once every.

More like you are not suited to renting a room your landlord/lady is not your mummy or daddy letting you rent your bedroom.

Being a lodger is shit. I think a lot of it is because UK homes are very small so you're all on top of each other - it would be different if each of you had a floor to yourselves. Plus lodging is neither Arthur nor Martha - yes it's your home, but someone else owns it, and that someone else shares it with you, and they're not a flatmate, and both of you are only in the situation because you have to be (owner needs the money, you can't afford a place of your own) so you end up doing this uneasy dance and nobody can really relax. In your own home!

I'm sorry; it's stressful and I hope you get a house share soon.

I dont know why people are getting triggered by the term live-in landlord. That's the term 😅

My friend was a landlord with a lodger and she was awful. She complained about them using the shower, what time they ate, they ate too loudly, they touched her cups, what food they stored in the fridge, what time they used the washing machine, that she could hear them. Everything. They were just living. But kept doing it for years because she liked the cash.

Lodging is very different from a house share / renting. I’ve been a lodger a couple of times, when I’ve moved jobs. One land lady gave me times I could use the kitchen and timings for showering, it wasn’t an easy living arrangement, but it gave me enough breathing space to find a house share.
second time I was a lodger the guy was my age, and totally chill with when I used the kitchen / bathroom. He was also cool with me using the living room or having friends round (always asked first)…. Ended up marrying him😆.

Now that's a plot twist 😍

Haha thats amazing! 🥰

I have real issues with landlords as a class, but lodging always seemed worse somehow. I went to see a few places and almost without exception they were posh women with insane rules about what you could and couldn’t do, and where you could and couldn’t go, but who were charging wild prices to live with them. I came to conclude that it’s people who basically can’t afford their houses and only want you there to pay the mortgage so you end up feeling like the little princess up in the attic waiting for her dad to come and get her. I’m sure there are exceptions who are great fun to live with but sadly I never got to meet them.

You're a lodger

You're taking up a space they had going free in their house

Most people don't consider the place they lodge to be their home, more a temporary stop gap before getting their own place or house share

I definitely clean the kitchen and bathroom, actually more than him. And im very quiet, out most of the time, tiptoe in and out, dont invite friends over. Don't use the living room because he is literally ALWAYS in there.
Which is why it pisses me off that he just randomly announces his daughter is staying: thats not the living situation I signed up for.
What if I had a boyfriend sleep over in my room 5 times a week because I pay for the room after all?

There are advantages too, as someone who has done it

You don't have to worry about bills - it is all inclusive

You don't have to worry about any of the house/bill admin

Usually much better maintained than a typical rental

Cheaper

Shorter notice period/more flexible than a standard tenancy.

Now these may not be important to you but if it's what you want, it can be beneficial to both.

Well. This thread has just cemented my view that I would never, ever have a lodger. The entitlement is unbelievable.

Yes, live-in lodgers are entitled as hell.

They are basically living off people's basic need to house themselves.

I am luckily in the process of buying a place and its a one bed.

You are completely right OP you’re paying to share those communal spaces/queue up for the bathroom and kitchen facilities based on you and the landlord, not another person being there permanently. You are 100% considered a second class citizen, not only by the landlord, but by everyone on here who cannot fathom what you are saying. Being a lodger is the absolute worst, get yourself out of it as soon as you possibly can.!

I was just going to ask this, why can't they just live with some friends?

No it isn't a direct analogy.

You are living in a person's house as a layjbg guest. You have no rights over how they treat the rest of THEIR house and they are entitled to do what they want as long as it doesn't prevent you using your room and facilities.

Skipping a queue of frail old ladies is just the queue skipper being a twat and impolite.

Absolutely. I had one a few years back who would witter on at me about "the housing crisis" and "the nasty party". Didn't stop her charging inflated market rates though

I came to conclude that it’s people who basically can’t afford their houses and only want you there to pay the mortgage

Well yeah?

Why else would someone take in a lodger if they didn't need the money?

You shouldn't be expected to clean communal areas as a lodger!

Communal tends to mean used by everyone. In other words, everyone cleans it.

Amen! Yes I'm buying my own place :)
And as for the people on here... Irrespective of the comments, 60% voted YANBU!

Exactly. So I'm not just renting a room, am I?

You need a house share, not to be a lodger, which you are if the landlord lives there.

Presumably you share kitchen/bathroom even if you don't use the lounge. Many years ago when I rented a room I understood that I was expected to clean the bathroom & kitchen & hallway which I did once a week. I also used to use my LL lounge & would run the vacuum over & dust once a week. I figured if I did it once a week & she did it once a week that was fair do's.

We also had a deal on things like washing up liquid, loo roll etc. I bought pink loo roll, she bought white, I bought red washing up liquid, she bought green so it was easy to see when the other person's turn was.