So fed up with live-in landlords

[EternalLodga]

I live in a city where rent is so high many of my friends and I are forced to be lodgers. There are SO MANY live-in landlords who are so unsuited to this gig.

I actually wonder whether there's a generational factor at play here: maybe they have never had to co-live and be on the back foot, as they basically take hefty rent off you and do whatever the hell they like.

My landlord just announced his daughter is going to spend 3 months in the spare room. Okay?

A friend of mine, on the day they moved into the house, the landlady had a party (the move in day was established weeks in advance).

They make a load off your back while also trying to rope you into doing deep cleans of their house while monopolising the communal areas.

In my experience and much to my surprise, the worst ones have been the most vocally left wing. Ive been trying to put my finger on why that is (im left wing myself) and I think its because they actually feel embarrassed about what they're doing, so their boundaries are completely fucked. Whereas the less "bleeding heart" ones see it as a simple transaction where you uphold your end, they uphold theirs.

One landlady actually told me when I could shower "to save on electricity bills". Honey, I pay you 800 quid a month: ill shower when I like??!

Sorry for the rant but im so sick of totally inappropriate people stepping into this role.

Its a direct analogy.

if you say so 🤣

Your comprehension of the word analogy is as flawed as your comprehension as to how a licence arrangement works (lodger).

Communal means everyone uses it so everyone keeps it clean and tidy.

You are a lodger. You have sole use of your bedroom. They have said, if you are using communal area’s to clean. And £800 per month, bloody bargain. If you don’t like it, save up and move out

In the past there were these families who would rent rooms to individuals (usually single men) and they provided food as well. At least that's what I know from novels and films. If lodging is that sort of an arrangement , then there shouldn't be any expectation of cleaning. It's sort of a private hotel.

Whereas in modern times I think it is more of a houseshare arrangement whereby the lodger socializes with the landlord and uses the kitched and living rooms etc

In any case I think it's important to clarify the rights and responsibilities in the contract, since it looks like (based on this thread) that landlords think they are providing a handout and the lodger should be on their knees thanking them.

That's a great idea re the colour coding!

The point about sharing areas/communal areas was raised because people were saying i had no right to question his daughter staying for months on end because I "just rent a room".
So my point re communal cleaning expectations (which i dont begrudge at all) was to say: if those expectations are there, im clearly not "just" renting a room

I was a lodger in a house that worked well in my 20s. The landlady (in her 50s I think) lived on the ground floor. The living area was middle floor of the town house. Four of us lived on the top floor. She had a cleaner, so we only has to clean up after ourselves. She had the odd rule such as no leaving out toiletries in the bathroom or things in the kitchen, which I was fine with.

Lodger = not a hotel guest
man, you got a chip on shoulder about being a lodger -
it must be serving a function or u wouldn’t be lodging ?? It is what it is - no ?

Yes. It has evolved to mean sharing, so youre expected to do communal cleaning and chip in for household products like in a houseshare, but unlike in a houseshare, you have no say over who stays or anything. Its cheeky as fuck.

Its really not.

But nice try.

My MIL (when she was widowed with 3 sons aged from 10-3 in 1950's) had what she called 'paying guests' they were in effect lodgers.

She converted every available room with gas metres & additional bathrooms to accommodate them. But she was very middle class & was lucky enough to have a house large enough to accommodate them.

DH talks fondly about some of their 'guests' who would take him out for picnics, to the beach etc. Different times though.

I can't believe that you have an issue with your landlord having their own daughter to stay - that's hilarious! It's their house! They get to choose who stays there - which is fine by you when you benefit from a place to stay. I wonder if you'll care more about when electricity gets used when you pay it yourself...

I thought the issue was that the daughter was going to be in your room and you were being ousted - but no.

You are completely right OP you’re paying to share those communal spaces/queue up for the bathroom and kitchen facilities based on you and the landlord, not another person being there permanently.

this. An additional person matters. Unless OP has her own private bathroom and kitchen. Which would be highly unusual.

I do pay it myself. Presumably these poor, self-sacrificing landlords work bills into the monthly rent

Agreed. My cousin was renting a room for over £1k a month and the landlady made it obvious she didn’t like her tenants. She would huff and puff if they dared entered the kitchen or living room if she was in there. Moaned about hissing being out on the line, moaned about the heating being on. In the end he moved to better lodgings

I agree, I had a few lodgers before I started living with my partner (without the financial need and mainly to feed my cats as I travel a lot for work), and I actaully treated them as equals and they had full access to the common areas.

Seems I missed the memo on having to treat them as sub-human.

(and I am a conservative)

You are 'just' a lodger.
You live in this woman's home and you get a room for your exclusive use, plus use of kitchen and bathroom. And maybe living room.

You are not a tenant.
You have very few rights.
She's not your landlord in the same way as she would be if you rented a property from her that she didnt also live in. She's the home owner who rents a room to you with certain conditions.

Again, if so many of your friends in your area are also lodgers then club together and rent a house where you are all on the lease and it is actually your home where you get to be the one to make decisions.

I had friends as lodges (one at a time, small house) not because I needed the money (the costs charged covered additional bills and council tax and a bit of socialising money. But they needed somewhere inexpensive and flexible for a short time - and I enjoyed their company.

I've also been a lodger twice, with people who equally did not need the cash (never hurts) and who became good friends. Again, because I needed something flexible and short term/ mid-week only.

There are times lodging is ideal... But it needs to be the right dynamic and it is very different to renting or owning your own.place..

You need to talk to your LL about what their expectations are. And yes, the colour coding worked well as no-one needed to remind the other that it was their turn to buy basic HH essentials. Though, as I remember, she never asked me to buy cleaning stuff (bleach, Ciff etc) - possibly I just did anyway, but it was best part of 40 years ago so I forget.

From reading some of these replies, im beginning to think that the weird "vocal left wing" quirk ive noticed comes down to them genuinely believing that having lodgers to help them pay for the houses they cant afford is them doing some kind of act of social service

Do you? You share the electricity bill, do you? Or do you pay an amount that includes electricity?

I know some people that absolutely take the mickey with electricity use when someone else is paying for it. Of course you'll say that doesn't describe you, but you have the attitude of someone that would.

I feel like you might not know what analogy means.

Mate, its called a live in landlord or resident landlord. Im sorry if using that word has touched a nerve for you (do you not want to be seen as a landlord or something?) but that is the correct terminology

Curious where the line between lodger and house sharer is, for most people?

The majority of "live-in landlord" rooms I see for rent where I am, are priced the same as any other house share. And advertised as if they are just another house share. Sometimes you have to read the fine print to clock that all-important "owner occupied" detail 😆

In a regular house share, if you pay equal rent, you have equal rights to the other tenants and aren't considered to be a guest in 'their' home. My feeling is that if a landlord is charging house share rates, the tenant has the right not be treated like a lodger. Are you paying a lot less for this arrangement, OP?

Im sure your live in landlord will be relieved when you go too