Friends’ ‘night time’ noises in holiday cottage!

[Slimlampshady]

We’re on holiday with another family. We’ve been on a couple of holidays with them before - long weekends in a cottage etc. All very lovely and this is no different, except…

…on both of the nights I have heard them at it, and last night my DD(8) did too!

Their family have the two bedrooms upstairs. My family have the two downstairs. They have kids in one room and adults in the other which is directly above the room I am sharing with DD (DH and DS are in the other room next door).

Our friends aren’t being unreasonably loud. It is completely silent in the cottage at night. You can almost hear the spiders breathing, it’s so quiet. If they were screaming the house down it would be different. But I have heard them briefly at the, er, crucial moments both last night (just her) and the first night we were here (both of them). Last night DD asked ‘Did Katie just shout?’ when actually she’d just heard Katie do something very different!

Would it be unreasonable to say something? I have known them a long time and we are very close friends so I can make a joke out of it. I just wouldn’t want to embarrass or upset them.

Why shouldn't children be hearing this?

If they don't know what it is, it doesn't matter in the least.

Don't say anything. They're not showing off.

Why shouldn't children hear sex noises? Really?

I’m with you on this one. You’re on holiday for a few days, cross your legs till you get home. Same goes for if I am a guest at someone else’s home. Rest assured I won’t be getting it on in your spare room 🤣

I'm quite tempted to change my username to AudibleOrgasmNoises.

@Slimlampshady how was last night? You'd be better off telling your daughterit Katie myst have had a dream and tell Katie today "well, someome had fun last night" with a wink.

Would you want to spend your holiday awkwardly trying to convince DD that there's a noisy owl and not Katie shouting upstairs every night?

OP deserves to relax and enjoy her holiday too.

🤣🤣🤣

Happy to report that I heard nothing last night!

Everyone I’ve spoken to says they’d never go on holiday with friends again.
it is unreasonable of them to do this with a child in earshot whether they understand or not.
Very inappropriate.
it might start a row but I think it’s over stepping the mark and very rude. It’s embarrassing for everyone

They need to know, just privately tell one of them in a light hearted way.

Well, I didn’t. And it’s done now. We’re home. We’ve been on holiday with them about 10 times and it’s always great. Never heard anything like that before, and I know they’re very much a ‘physical’ couple having been very tipsy with K on multiple occasions over very many years! So no need to rock any boats and let’s hope it never happens again to cause me to change my mind!

Well exactly.
There's no harm in it, is there?

Hmmm well I woudl personally keep it lighthearted if OP feels she MUST say something like “fun night?”
but sounds like OP is home now. If and when they go away again, would just suggest they don’t sleep in the bedroom underneath.
Just don’t think sex is a massive taboo and really sounds like the couple didn’t know they’d be heard

It isn't a massive taboo but I wouldn't want my child hearing it every night either.

im going to disagree there

”sex noises “ in the same sentence as children ?

really ?

It's not 'rude' but I personally couldn't enjoy having sex if I thought that someone could hear. I would tense up and be unable to relax. For that reason, though, I don't think that OP should mention it to them, as it would probably really mortify them.

so cringe.

Are you asking if it's harmful for children to hear people having sex?
Yes, yes it is. It's a form of subtle erosion of boundaries within the adult child relationship that can erode trust, create harmful associations around sex in the developing mind and in the worst case scenario actually negatively impact the child's sexual development into adolescence and adulthood. There is a fair bit of research on the subject. I honestly find it hard to understand why other people don't instinctively grasp that children shouldn't hear adults having sex. It seems so self evident that the question shouldn't need to be asked.

Alright Mary Whitehouse.

Tell your DD that she must have had a nightmare or she talks in her sleep, if it happens again

Exactly their kids probably have to listen to that all the time for all anyone knows.

There is no way on earth I would report noisy sex in a hotel. On a cruise once the cabin opposite ours was very loud, heard the moaning noises way before we got near the room, you could hear it all down the corridor.

Did you have your kids with you? I must have different boundaries I think, as there is no way I would let my kids hear “sex” on the go. If they’re young adults that’s different, but not youngsters. It’s all about morality and respect IMHO.

I totally agree with you. Anything seems to go with some adults now. Social media has a lot to do with that of course, but morality and respect seems to be unheard of in young adults now. You only have to look at Kanye West and his wife. Ok it’s done for shock value, and because she “can”, but it shows girls that they can show whatever they want of their bodies, and it’s deemed “normal” in some way. The world’s gone mad.

Not quite sure a single gasp constitutes the world going mad.

If she’d been screaming ‘Give it to me big boy!’ and loudly moaning for ages then that’s different. It was literally one noise (and one from her husband as well the previous night). That’s pretty much the noise we make having sex at home when the kids are in bed next door. The only difference was that in my house I know they’re asleep and I also know nobody else can hear.

I don’t think hearing a sound that could be an owl but was actually, unknown to them, an orgasm, will give them PTSD.