AIBU to be angry at my 19 year old daughter

[JustSamantha]

So my daughter finished college last month
she never tried at college always skipped lessons failed most her units and she was on her last warning or else she would get kicked off the course she did her last unit and they said if she doesn’t get the highest points in this unit she’s failed the whole 2 year course. She’s yet to receive the results

so she doesn’t have a job, she’s not enrolled on the apprenticeship she so badly wanted to do after college saying she can’t get into one and even if she did it won’t start until February next year

she does NOTHING all day, lies on bed all day and comes down and demands from me ‘what’s for dinner ‘ ‘ what’s for tea’
the only time she leaves the house is to see her boyfriend or friends

she leaves her cutlery bowls plates cups in her and her sisters room leaves rottten food bags of rubbish and I’ve asked her to move this stuff and wash her plates and she’s completely disregards me and I end up moving and washing it

I resent her massively and it’s all her own fault. I thought when they get older you can relax on parenting them but she’s 19 and I still hav to baby her

she has no income so I said she needs to apply for UC but she wants me to do it for her

I don’t work at the moment due to having young children plus being a carer for my mum and I’m struggling massively financially might have to visit food banks this week but I’m still getting out of bed and being constructive, she isn’t she sits in bed ALL DAY

i know ppl will say oh she’s probably depressed well so Is a lot of people and they still live life as best they can she can’t be that depressed if she goes out with her boyfriend and friends

shes just announced that she wants to go for a drive as her boyfriend is driving his brothers car and the drive is at 1.30 am in the morning !! And she said she will come back early hours I told her you’re not disturbing me and your siblings ( me and my 2 youngest sleep in the dining room as a bedroom as the upstairs rooms are occupied by my other kids. She said oh I’ll take the spare key that’s not the point !!!
so coz I said she’s not doing that under my door she started throwing stuff trashing the hall
way

I’ve had enough

am I being unreasonable ??

And how does she do that with no money ? She’s entitled to claim UC while she looks for work and there will be some compulsion to find work

Do not ever let anyone put ypu down. You deserve to have children and you clearly care about her welfare. There is never a right time to have a child... I will not put certain details here but you are not alone and nor is ypur daughter. At that age we just give advice, don't do too much for her if she doesn't have specific needs, let her learn to do more fore herself. I have a teen that has been in and out of college since 2022. It's hard but you just keep going and trying to help her see what SHE has to do to sort her life out. It's ok not to know and it's fine to make mistakes but let her know you need her to tell you when she needs support. (She can make her own dinner/Tea!) This is the wrong place to seek support as allsorts of characters will give their unsolicited opinions. There are many programmes in the summer and a company called ingeus they help young people find training and or employment. Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself. I am have chronic pain issues life is already tough so you need to look after yourself 1st don't stress too much about your daughter and you have your mother to care for. Take care!