For refusing to change a 6 year old?

[Bernie6678]

So I’m 20 years old, at uni and working as a TA. I want to be a KS2 teacher. This is my first year working with children, I have no past experience, no children of my own etc. Posting here to get opinions from mums.

Anyway I’ve recently been moved from the year 5 classroom (which I loved) to year 1 and there’s multiple children who wet themselves and one of them actually poos himself quite regularly. No SEN. I understand the odd accident but this is happening a few times a week…
I’ve said I don’t feel comfortable changing children as this isn’t in my contract or job description and I’ve had no intimate care training. (Personally for minimum wage I’d rather not be dealing with poo and changing children).
I also think when a child wets themselves at this age they should be capable of going and changing themselves. We have lots of spare clothes and baby wipes here.

I’ve refused so the teacher or another TA changes the children.

Apparently the teacher has now complained about me because she’s having to do it when her previous TA would do it no questions asked. Previous TA has now had to go off on sick leave.

AIBU? They’re 6 years old?!

lol okay :)

Well, that's a decision only you can make. Best of luck to you doing something else.

Yes, that would be best.

If a child in your care needs changing and you refuse to do it, you'll be leaving anyway. Might as well get a jump on it.

Came back to find yet more loonies trying to tell a minimum wage worker to clean up shit and pee covered 6 year old children because "feelies".

Never mind the fact that it's NOT her job role any more than the cleaner or the head teacher's. Never mind the fact that intimate care for a 6 year old child requires a safety plan in place. Never mind that she has no training and could herself get sick from parasites, bacteria and that cleaning shit and pee is actually a health hazard which REQUIRES training and PPE.

Anyone who would try to strip the OP of her rights and dignity in this way is an unhinged bully.

What's more you would simply not screech this at anyone in real life. Your loony entitlement is only ever shouted anonymously online, because you know that in real life everyone would look at you as though you were barking mad and avoid you for eternity if you tried to force a minimum wage worker to wipe the arses of shit and pee covered 6 year old children without training and safety measures and most of all WITHOUT HER AGREEING TO DO IT.

Stop pretending that wiping up shit and pee covered 6 year old and up children is a normal job, a standard job or in any way something most TAs are expected to do without SPECIFIC TRAINING AND THE EMPLOYEE'S CONSENT. You do not believe it and nobody else does either.

So glad the OP is not going to do it, cannot be forced to do it and will almost certainly leave the job she loves if nutters like you keep this nonsense up.

So who's job is it?

I'm a teacher and I wouldn't bat an eyelid about helping one of my pupils like this.

I've been a TA - I have a team of TAs and they wouldn't think twice about it either

Because we all care about our pupils and their safety and comfort. It's why we chose to do the job.

If you don't like little kids who have accidents, teach secondary!

Do you genuinely not care that there is an increasing number of parents who are not interested in teaching their children the most basic skills that toddlers have? They are allowing their children to be embarrassed by being well behind their peers as well as not having basic dignity by being changed in an intimate manner by other staff members? Does this genuinely not bother and concern you? What is going on at home with these children?

@Loafbeginsat60 Oh you're not going down this nonsensical road again, surely?

As you know it is a job for someone who agrees to the job and has had the training for the job.

What an absolutely pointless waste of time it was you typing this rubbish.

"So who's job is it?"

Parents.

This entire thread is just me and other posters pointing out reality and the basic dignity and rights of the OP and a whole bunch of unhinged over entitled nutbags shrieking "But oh won't something think of the children?!" while steadfastly ignoring the basic and very simple realities.

Christ, what a waste of time for everyone, including me. Glad the OP pissed off, and if you're reading this love, for God's sake get out while you still can. This is why teachers are running away from the job in droves - unhinged over entitled unempathetic bullies of parents.

"What is going on at home with these children?"

They're being raised by neglectful parents. No desire to toilet train or teach children how to read a book or brush their teeth. I feel sad for the children, but teachers job is to educate - not change nappies.

Trying to shame women into uncaring cold hearted stone who want children to suffer. Clearly why we got into education.

All I ever wanted to do was help children, educate them and have a rewarding career. I didn't for one minute imagine that would involve changing nappies everyday. Or teach how to brush their teeth. I thought I was being employed to teach.

Yes I agree, did you not read my comment? I think you've also misunderstood @Boddica2000

No sorry, I was being rhetorical/sarcastic! It didn't come across well. I'm with you both.

Sorry I mean this about the loonies, not you! I agree with you.

Back when I was a TA 2006-2012 I was certainly never ever expected to perform intimate care on piss or shit covered 6 year old children as that has never been a standard TA expectation in a mainstream school - for so many good reasons.

Back then I had a friend, Mandy, who was a teacher and often lamented to me about how when she started back in the 90s, they were just expected to teach.

Slowly but surely that load was added to, they were expected to be a cross between a nurse, mother and mental health support worker while behaving always like a perfect angel from above with no human irritation and still somehow teach a class full of children, some of whom who were now, increasingly, behaving unpredictably and sometimes dangerously in class.

She said "I used to just be expected to teach. Now I am expected to teach them how to behave first."

At the time I thought she was exaggerating. But now entitled parents up and down this thread are demanding TAs and teachers clean up shit and piss covered 6 year olds, without consent or training, clearly she was was not exaggerating at all.

Yeah, I agree. The entitlement is insane. Teachers aren’t even paid that well compared to other sectors yet so much expected of them.

Exactly.

How about they parent their own children, and they find arrangements so at least one parent or support person is at short driving distance from the school for emergencies, including toileting accidents? You know, like it has been done for ever.

How about they drive to the school quickly and change their child, so their child does not have to suffer "the humiliation" of not being changed for an hour? After all it's their child, and the only person responsible for their suffering will be themselves. The fucking outrageousness of trying to make a TA feel guilty because their 6-year-old child has pooed themselves and their parents haven't even taught them how to wipe their own bottom, and the TA is not falling over herself and going "above and beyond her duties" to deal with the mess (since when is "going above and beyond" an expectation and not a personal choice the parents should be fucking grateful for??).

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

I 100% agree with you, I am a teacher and I wouldn’t expect my TA to do this. I would back her. I wouldn’t do it myself. It’s ultimately not my responsibility.

She said "I used to just be expected to teach. Now I am expected to teach them how to behave first."

That's a really interesting point, it makes it so concise.

Ha ha, all good. Loonies is about right!! 😁 I said earlier, this is honestly one of the most eye opening (and depressing!) threads I have ever read. I hope something changes soon, although I suspect it will get much worse before it gets better 😔

Unfortunately, it will get a lot of worse I believe. Government don’t care because their kids are in rich private schools and the general public seems to blame the teachers. When government won’t fund sen education or education at all for that matter.

Neither did my son's headteacher! (School for physically disabled children, many of whom had continence issues - personal care was part of their EHCP)

I was just saying this to my DH the other day re large class sizes, politicians don't care because their kids go to private school so it's not an issue for them. This is why everything is getting so much worse in state school, it's actually a wonder kids learn anything at all. I'm expecting to be putting in a lot of extra hours for homework when mine starts school.