Was I unreasonable to post this picture (privacy)

[midlifesharp]

DD competes in a sport. She’s ok but has never won anything. She enjoys it though. She’s trained a lot recently and had a competition I was able to attend - and she won!!! I managed to snap a once in a lifetime action shot of her doing so as well.

I have a very small private Facebook - fewer than 100 people. Family, friends and a few school parents. I wanted to post the picture, mainly for the older relatives. Now, also visible in shot was DDs friend, coming in behind her. Friend is lovely, mum is a little difficult. She’s super crunchy and quick to share her views. I checked with her before posting the picture as her child was also in it, not expecting any problems as she regularly posts her own pictures of her children. However she said that she didn’t want her daughter on anyone else’s social media -so I posted the picture with her daughter cropped out as much as possible and with the remaining half of her face blurred.
She’s now messaged me asking me to remove the whole picture as people who know the girls compete in the same team could guess that it’s her daughter. You cannot tell it’s her daughter at all! It’s half a blurred face, an arm and a leg.

Am I right to be a bit cross or have I misjudged a parenting/ privacy issue?

Just scribble over the other child

You're missing the point, She said no and you should have listened , not fudged it to your 'acceptable' standards.

It's not for you to pick and choose what you like about someone's decision regarding their child just because you can't be bothered to do the job properly

@midlifesharp chat gpt will unfortunately do this. You could use a website called “sora” (ran by chat gpt but allows for more complex editing). You just need to make a sora account (it’s free) upload the image and hit “remix” it will then let you highlight the portion of the image you want to remove, tell it to remove that portion, and it will leave the rest of the image exactly as it is.

There are many reasons for not wanting teenagers pictures to be on social media. I would suggest you give this some thought. I hope you have apologised and dealt with the situation.

Yes - fewer than 100 could easily comprise some deviants

The OP has done plenty. I wouldn’t be dancing around this mother’s neuroses. Her child is very much not in the picture anymore.

I remember a local toddler group apologising to me that my son has appeared in their promotional materials online when I had ticked the box not to consent.

He was a tiny speck. In the distance. From behind. With a sun hat on.

I told her not to worry at all and genuinely felt sorry for the woman. Her panic when she phoned me told me all I needed to know about how some parents approach this sort of thing.

But her child is completely blurred out so op isnt posting a pictute of her child.

As you cropped her daughter out I don't think you're being unreasonable. However, a race my son competed in was posted on a parents SM (my son won the other child came 2nd so I'm not jealous!) and I was very annoyed. The mum also posted a podium pic so it was very identifiable. I don't have SM for privacy reasons, another parent let me know, and I thought it was very rude of her to post it.

At the end of the day you can’t control what other people do. You can ask them to remove pictures of your kids, but you can’t make them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some posters here should probably bear in mind that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If someone messaged me and asked politely that I take a picture down, I wouldn’t hesitate. All guns blazing and ranting and raving? I would not be so inclined.

You’ve been given multiple suggestions and ideas about how to COMPLETELY remove her from the background so that you can post just a picture of your own DD without a blurred image behind but you don’t seem to be listening?

Why should she? Fuck does it matter? The kid is an unidentifiable blur.

Some people must think really highly of their kids if they can’t even bear so much as their shadow appearing online in a photo.

I used the eraser in Photoshop to erase another runner coming in close behind my niece in a major race, it was simple to do ( must be if I could do it😅), it printed well and looked like she was out on her own

Ignore her. People like this who think they can interfere in everything need to learn they cannot.

Just download an editing app and remove her.

This exactly. OP has dealt with it and this woman is still unhappy. Ridiculous.

Leave it up and let her have conniptions about it, the daft woman.

Sounds like she's more bitter that it shows her daughter didn't win!

If you have access to an iPhone 16 you can remove items from pictures. It doesn’t affect other other items in the picture.

I would remove it.

This. The editing function is great!

She posts pictures of her daughter on social media, what a hypocrite!

I would respond with “If your DD is only recognisable to people who already know they’re in the same team then no privacy has been breached so I can’t see the issue?”

I think you have been reasonable. I would block her on social media and just grey rock her if you meet in person. My friend does not allow people to see images of her young children. However just covers thier faces.

WhatsApp the photo to a friend whose phone can completely remove your daughter' s friend. Lots of Samsung phones can do that easily, I do it all the time, it just matches in the background. I think it's a Galaxy S23 and above that has got this facility.

If you have an iphone you can remove whole people without blurring or cropping

If she is blurred then it should be fine. You could also have put a sticker on it.

If you are asking then you are going to be told…

Just take her completely out…it is just a bit of edit and then she can’t say nothing except that her daughter is now NOT part of the pic which if she comes second might still come as a sting.

You can also edit whom can see this pic…or any future posts…just saying…

Hi 👋
If you are on face book, there are free editing pages. Perhaps pop it on there and ask someone to remove everyone but your daughter. Once done, thank the person who did it and remove photo of edit page then update that picture. They honestly do an amazing job all free.

Well done to your daughter for winning.