Would you be friends with your MIL if you weren’t related?

[ThisPlumZebra]

Serious question. Mine means well (I think?), but if I met her randomly at a school event or in a coffee shop… I don’t think we’d even make it past small talk 😬
Too many “little comments,” too many surprise visits, and definitely too many parenting opinions.
Anyone actually likes their MIL here? Enlighten me.

No !

although maybe is I wasn’t her DIL. She is awful to me but so kind and bends over backwards for other people. Including her friends daughters who are around my age.

it seems she just disliked me from the moment she met me. The typical ‘ she’s stealing my baby boy away’ 🙄

I actually quite like the person she is to other people which is sad.

Mine's no longer alive, but no we wouldn't have been friends. She was a pleasant enough woman but we had nothing in common and, despite usually being kind to me, she did have certain 'little comments' she'd come out with.

Ah yeah, I love mine. She's fab!

No, definitely not!

Good grief no. Awful.

Would your MIL give you the time of day if you weren't related?

My MiL is a difficult person to like. I feel sorry for her because she lives in a state of anxiety, and that must be a horrible way to live. But it also has a big impact on those around her.

I minimise the time I spend with her, so if there was no DH connection I wouldn't see her at all.

I can’t see how we would ever have crossed paths, but I’m glad that we did. My MIL is interesting, sensible and kind.

Probably not… but you could say that for a lot of relatives, it’s not only true for MILs.
I wouldn’t have anything to do with my sister if we weren’t related - we are world’s apart in personality, lifestyle choices, etc. Once a year at Christmas is more than enough.

Not a chance. She’s middle England, a bit racist, snobby and obsessed with social status. I’m very fond of her as the mother of my husband and she adores the DC. But other than that, hard no.

I like my MIL very much. But we have very different backgrounds. So no I don't think our paths would cross in a social sense. She's sensible, kind and funny though.

No way ! X

Absolutely NOT. !

She was a control freak

No, setting aside the classic, stealing my baby boy crap, she's petty, mean nasty and negative constantly

No! She's a fucking idiot.

Any particular reason for the MIL bashing OP?
Lots of us wouldn't be friends with relatives, even blood relatives, but she did (presumably) birth and bring up the man you love.
My future MIL didn't get to become my MIL because she passed away before our wedding. There's always other perspectives.

Definitely. Mine was one of the nicest people I've ever known like my own mum is and I'm sure why it's my dh is so kind too. She was pure goodness, didn't judge people and extremely positive.
We came from different backgrounds but I didn't feel it.

My MIL is an alcoholic narcissist who is oblivious to the effect she has on other people and continuously screams “woe is me.” She’s belittling, tries to be smart about things she has no idea, tells me how to parent even though her children had a horrible upbringing..

I’m not “friends” with her as her DIL (I put up and shut up for my DP’s sake) but I don’t think we’d be friends outside of that automatic relationship.

I love her, and she loves us. But God she's such a bore - drones on about her particular interests and views and interrupts if you aren't talking about her, to talk about herself....sadly she's like this with everyone, it's definitely not personal.

So unfortunately, no.

But as per a pp, not sure I'd have been friends with my dad either, even though I loved him very much indeed. He was often fun, but also a difficult man, I probably wouldn't have bothered for long.

My first MIL was lovely and I had all my kids with first DH so the relationship was super important.
I remarried at 40 to someone who had their own kids and the IL relationship we both have with each others respective DP’s is not something either of us give a lot of thought to at all.
I tend to see mine and he his. I almost feel that at the age I remarried I can’t really be arsed to start over with new IL’s esp as they are- miserable as sin, very very old before their time, toe curlingly ‘frugal’ and very judgemental.
I almost feel as we don’t share kids and it’s a second marriage I’m under no obligation to see my MIL Or FIL from one month to the next. DH goes over weekly and does his bit. He has a DSIS also who visits. Funnily enough I’m quite ambivalent about her too and when someone says ‘MIL or SIL’ the people that pop into my head are from my first marriage.

My DM is good fun, so DH is luckier tbh and they get on well.

Definitely yes. Mine is a genuinely wonderful lady and we have a lot in common when it comes to taste in books, and also are both teachers. I could easily see us becoming friends, even with quite an age gap, without DH involved. I could imagine we’d meet through work and it would go from there.

No - I have nothing in common with my in laws, and my MIL was downright weird when I had my first baby (made comments about how the baby was "hers" and preferred her to me, she even said she was it's mum, etc). It upset me at the time and our relationship has never really recovered, but thankfully we only see them once or twice a year.

Yes. She's like a female version of her son. So what's not to like?

My MiL is lovely and I find her very easy to chat too. She is kind and isn't outspoken (rude) as my DM was.
I think the generational age gap would probably reduce chances of us being friends but if we met at a hobby etc I would be happy to be her friend.