To dump dog in one of my husbands offices he works from

[Fatfoot]

I will preface this with he is a lovely dog, well trained and behaved.
but I never wanted a dog, and said it, but got overruled.

Fast forward 8 years.

Husband has left me, children have left home , and I am tied to him.

I love him, but want the freedom that the rest of family have

Haven’t been on holiday for 3 years - husband was away just for example for 79 days last year.

And me..........almost! Ive been on MN since September 2004. Many different names since then though. <waves>

Gosh, there is a lot going on in your OP. Mainly, your ex is a bit of an arsehole.

That said, I think you need to separate the dog from the arsehole (as it were). You might not have wanted the dog and feel the people who really wanted it have now all buggered off. BUT you also say you love the dog and don't want it to leave. So I think you have to forget its origin story, for your own sanity.

(But if you want to drop it at the ex's office with a breezy, 'here's the lead and food for a week, see you next Monday!' I say go for it.)

Dumping was wrong word to use, I should have said put him maybe?
he
would be safe and happy and doesn’t understand the word dump anyway.

he can spin, do high fives down up, heel wait sit etc, so is a much loved and well trained dog and that’s why he is popular - it’s like therapy day for staff on rare occasions he goes into offices now

If you think your ex will look after the dog properly, or find someone else to do it, then I'd absolutely do this.

Different kettle of fish, if you think doggo will end up neglected or distressed. If you love them though, I can't imagine you think this is very likely.

Honestly, I'd hate to have to run my life around a pet to that degree, you have my sympathies.

Sometimes I wonder whether there's actually just six of us, but it seems like more because of the name changes...

I get that your dog is happy in your h's office.

However, you do not want h to take the dog home with him and then never give him back - because you love him and want him. And you also do not want h to have the dog over a weekend for example and leave him all day.

so i would really, really not take the dog to the office.

try to find some alternative care for your dog. I know that is exceptionally difficult.

It's clear you care about the dog. But it sounds like Ex should step up and help out. After all its not like you are always going on holiday is it. If he helped out with dog sitting payments or agreed to take the dog for a week or so say twice a year.. It would be little effort for him, but huge difference to you. I think you need to say that to him... And get family to back you up too... so that he feels the public pressure.

Is there a lovely person from his work, a family member or friend who could dog sit?
You have my sympathy re kennels, my woof was very anxious the first couple of times he went. It's a fab place too, they get playtime, cuddles, toys, walks etc and the place has a high staff to kennel ratio. He needed to go and come home four times I think it was before he fully went crazy happy when the kennels bag was packed and we went in the car. He was happy enough the other times but still anxious, and anxious at kennels too.
Could you take your dog to a kennels that also does daycare, and put him in for the day? Get him used to kennels being a fun place where you get to play and explore new sniffs etc?
If that doesn't appeal/doesn't work, look out for a home boarder who will either have your dog to their house or will come stay in yours while you're away.
Be persistent about making your holiday happen. You deserve it!

This.

yes dogs are a tie but there are people you can pay to take care of the dog while you go on holiday.

@Fatfoot There is a hot corner in hell for people who scream and stamp their feet to get a dog, but then fuck off after getting one.

I wouldn't dream of taking the dog to his office and leaving it there with a cheery "See you in a week"! Especially if he's as much of an arsehole as you say he is! What's to say when he leaves work at the end of that day, he doesn't dump the dog at a shelter or somewhere? Especially if he doesn't seem to want it now. I wouldn't take that risk to be honest. Especially as you're now so attached to him. I'd be heartbroken to come back to find the ex had dumped him off somewhere.
There are plenty of good suggestions for home sitters/drop in services, I'd go down that route and send a bill to your ex for his half!

Try Julie Naismith separation anxiety training, helped me I can now leave her for an hour!
you need to pay for the dog to be looked after in your home. Which is what I have done for a night. been on holiday once in last 4 years took her with me plus another 2 family dogs.

Also why do you keep on referring to him as your current husband, as if he hasn’t left you and you’re still together? You’d handle this differently if it was a normal married relationship vs a breakup.

Since he got the dog but won’t take any responsibility for him, your ex can pay dog maintenance and you can hire a pet sitter to stay at the house with him. If you use the same one each time he will be just fine.

Tell your ex he needs to match his own time away, so 79 days worth of pet sitting.

“Dumping” a dog who had nothing to do with all this sounds cruel just on its face.

Why not put the dog with a friend/in a doggy day care when you go on vacation? Or have your ex look after the dog?

Do you not have any friends who will take dog ?

I do this for friends /family’s dogs - dd 8 loves it and would love a dog

I won’t ever get one as a tie and like to go away on holiday and even just days out I can be out 4/6hrs a day and that’s unfair on a dog

but having one for 1-2weeks means get the best of both worlds

dd has a dog

dog is well cared for and has a holiday at mine

everyone happy

have a relatives dog at the moment. He is lovely but I will be glad when goes as he barks a lot and my shadow and follows me everywhere

or boarding kennels

Why is your husband visiting the dog at your home if he has, supposedly, left? Do you really want his continued presence in your life?

Your family all sound like shit. Your ex and kids can step up, make a roster

That sounds like one of Blackadder's cunning plans, OP.

Just leave the heartless ex out of the equation entirely. The two of you are divorced. He is gone from your life and from the dog's life too.

Contact a local dog sitter. Have the sitter come around a few times to get to know the dog and vice versa.

Book your holiday. Book the dog sitter. Dog will believe the sitter is family. Everyone wins.

OP surely you don’t need a friend or relative to take the dog, you could stick it in a kennel or boarding for a week

Ex either pays for the dogs care for a week and you choose a responsible person to care for the dog or he does it for once. I would be pointing out the years you have cared for him. Selfish arsehole.

Why should she pay for it? Just because her ex is a disgusting piece of skin that walks out on all of his responsibilities. There are too many doormats on here.

Rather than kennels would you use a service like Rover so your dog can stay with a family?

OP can you find a dog sitter that you can use. I am a dog minder and advertise on the website Rover although most of my business is from regulars now. I charge £30 a night and only have dogs from one home so they get all the attention. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of lovely dog minders by you.
I have lovely relationships with the dogs I mind and their owners.

I use a dog sitter who stays in my home, I also have an anxious dog and she is fine. Your post is a bit confusing as you ask about dumping the dog with your ex but do not want to rehome.