To dump dog in one of my husbands offices he works from

[Fatfoot]

I will preface this with he is a lovely dog, well trained and behaved.
but I never wanted a dog, and said it, but got overruled.

Fast forward 8 years.

Husband has left me, children have left home , and I am tied to him.

I love him, but want the freedom that the rest of family have

Haven’t been on holiday for 3 years - husband was away just for example for 79 days last year.

No, I meant with your ex who presumably hasn't seen your dog for some time. So unfair to your dog to put him to your ex.

In a similar situation except i’m on own with dog as DH passed away recently.

my local villages have fb groups and often people ask about dog sitters and minders etc so I’ve been thinking about finding someone to have DDog occasionally. Id love to go shopping to seaside town an hour away and not worry about DDog being on his own.

The fact you didn't want him 8 years ago is now irrelevant as you do not wish to rehome home, thus do want him.

The point at which 'I didn't want the dog' was relevant was when the husband became ex and left, that should have been with his dog. That ship has also sailed.

Book a sitter who takes care of dog in your own home or one that takes care of dog in their home - so you don't have him struggling in kennels getting more anxious.

Petition useless ex to contribute to dog costs - that is who you should be playing the 'I didn't want the dog' tune to!

Kennels are awful. There are websites now where you can find suitable dog sitters where they look after them at their home. You can bill the husband for this. Or if you don't want that bother, then yes, absolutely book your holiday and drop him at the office. Don't see why this gobshite should shirk his responsibilities. But if he just kennels him then you'll have to go with the dog-sitter option and insist on (dog) maintenance from ex.

Yes to be fair kennels can be traumatic for dogs unless they go to a place that really cares for them. Otherwise they think they’ve been dumped in a cage alone. Sad really

Definitely take him to your ex’s office en route to going away. No arguing with you. Block his number as you leave so he can’t guilt you into picking him up.

Surely, it begins and ends with this?

I completely agree — it’s not the dog’s fault he ended up in this situation. He didn’t ask for this, bless him.

You’re absolutely right: if rehoming is the best option, it needs to be done responsibly, not just leaving him somewhere like an old box of books. Dogs aren’t temporary commitments — they’re family. There’s someone out there who can give him the time, attention, and freedom that the OP understandably wants back in her life.

OP, you’ve already given him 8 years of care, and that’s no small thing. Your love for him is so clear in your post. If you’re ready to pass the baton, do it with the same care you’ve shown him so far. It doesn’t make you heartless — it makes you human. And kind, for doing it the right way.

he does see him about once a week but never walks him.

Well to be fair a high proportion of men don’t want their kids when they leave, so no surprise he didn’t want the burden of a dog 🤷🏻‍♀️

We’ve recently had a holiday where a lovely pet sitter came and stayed at our house to look after our dog as she’s 15 and best in her home environment rather than going to the dog boarder we used to use.
Would this be an option maybe?
It’s definitely very tying having a dog but if you managed to get a bit of a support network in place that could help?

I’d suggest a couple of thjngs

1. borrow my doggy or similar / you could meet people who love your dog and can take fir a few hours at weekend /walks etc

2. look for a pet sitter in your home when you go away or use a sitter who keep them in their own home ( not outside /kennels etc)

3. do you have friends who could have it overnight occasionally?

Find a nice sitter who cares about dogs & ask your ex for money to pay so you can go on holiday. If you can afford you could suggest 50/50. Or see if he’s open to paying for a sitter while you’re away. He doesn’t sound like sort of person who should have a dog tbh since he abandoned him

At 8, the dog is now getting older and may not be with you for many more years, depending on size/breed. This will not be forever.

I would try to find a local dog walker who does home boarding. Get them to start taking him out at least semi-regularly so that he gets used to them. My lady used to take our old girl home with her in between walks so she got used to her house. And then she was happy to stay there overnight. Do it as a phased thing, preferably with someone who has flexibility to have him at relatively short notice, so if you fancy a quick weekend away, you can.

This!

Thank you, exactly - he went to a friend of my husbands when young who was a vet and owned kennels,
he never barked much before and his temperament changed and now is anxious.

Well that info does change things.

I would be asking for him to take the dog while you go on holiday. But he's said he's too busy so not much you can do...again you can't make him. He does sound uncaring tho.

Poor thing, possibly the vet probably ignored him most of the time

Use trusted housesitters. Very good, vetted and free. Dog can stay in his own house, you can go away.

Great idea! ☺️

My dd used these loads and did some work for them then herself.
Book Dog Boarding, Dog Walking and More
Fab service

I would get a home boarder to take him whilst you go away. We have multiple dogs, one is definitely my husbands and goes to work etc with him.
If for any reason he decided to leave and not take his dog I wouldn’t part with him myself but make pragmatic decisions that meant it didn’t adversely affect my own life.
If you don’t want someone staying in your house there are fully licensed and insured home boarders that also do dog walking, I would see if anyone has availability to start taking him out a couple of time a week with a view to boarding with them when you go away.
Our dogs go most places with us when we go away but sometimes it’s just not possible and when that happens the eldest one stays with family and the 2 younger ones go to a boarder.
It is frustrating when you’ve been left with an animal that you didn’t wish to have in the first place, but as you don’t wish to rehome him you need to put a plan in place to suit both you and your dog.
Ours love the person who looks after them when they can’t come with us and it does them good to stay elsewhere incase we ever have a family emergency which meant they couldn’t stay at home.

People with dogs do go on holiday you know ? We have plenty of amazing holidays in the UK with our dog and take him everywhere we can, but when we go abroad or somewhere we can’t take him he stays with a family member - appreciate we are lucky to have this option but if we didn’t then he’d 100% be going to our dog walker who also boards. I would never put him in kennels.
Find a decent local dog boarder who ideally does dog walking as well & get him used to being with them by having dog walks once a week or fortnight. He’ll be much more settled being with someone he knows.

This is a weird thread.

Firstly the dog is property in the eyes of the law, not a person. Unlike a shared child, your ex has no legal responsibility for this dog. Dumping the dog at his office unexpectedly would look unhinged.

If you never wanted the dog and always felt lumbered by it, why didn’t you raise responsibility of the dog as an issue sooner? During the breakup you presumably discussed what you were doing with finances, assets etc. I don’t know what stage of the divorce that you’re in - but you can’t maintain possession of the dog and simultaneously expect your ex to care for it. A dog can only have 1 legal owner - you would have full responsibility for it and there would be no expectation for him to share care. If your divorce is ongoing and the dog care is an issue, you need to make the relevant arguments now.

Take your ex out of the equation. I think you might be better with a dog sitter at home rather than kennels. Or get him a passport and go on an adventure with him