Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

[ExplosiveDiorEar]

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

Well done OP!
You should be super proud of your achievement.

@ExplosiveDiorEar
GO QUADZILLA!
(mr puniverse is jealous of your massive wheels)

I feel sorry for you.

Well done, you!!

Won’t the creme egg have gone off?

Sounds like somebody is jealous and a bit toxic. Probably afraid other men are interested In you so instead of praising you as he should have his fragile ego had that response

Congrats! That's a massive achievement, well done @ExplosiveDiorEar

Your DP was being churlish - i take it he's normally supportive. If not it might be time to review your relationship. If he is, he saw red and couldn't get passed it. Raise it with him cos he should be in your corner first and foremost not worrying about his 'possession' being so close to another man!

Well done OP. There are some miserable scrotes on here. Take no notice. Video whatever you bloody well want to. It's a huge thing and your old man is a dick.

So, kind of like you then?

That is so incredibly sad!

You're not overreacting — it is deflating when you come home buzzing from something you’ve worked so hard for, and the person you want to share it with doesn't quite match your energy or enthusiasm. You should feel proud — squatting 1.5x your body weight is a massive achievement! You earned that crème egg and all the praise that came with it.

At the same time, I wonder if part of what's hurting here is the contrast between the environment at the gym — where people are literally paid to notice your progress, encourage you, and celebrate every win — and home, where the reactions are shaped by a different set of expectations. That doesn't mean your partner doesn't care or isn't proud of you, but people we live with aren't always going to perform their encouragement the way a PT or gym buddy might. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just a difference in context and communication styles.

That said, it's also completely reasonable to want to share your win and feel it reflected back. Wanting someone you love to be part of that celebration isn't needy or silly — it’s human. And I think this might be about more than the comment itself; it sounds like you were hoping he’d be in the moment with you, cheering alongside you, and instead, the focus shifted somewhere else.

You’re not overreacting. You're reacting like someone who did something amazing and wanted to feel seen.

Ah well that’s the thing, I haven’t seen the inside of a gym since about 1983 😁🫣

I'm afraid I agree with that.
My ex was talking about his (multiple and short-lived) hobbies all the time that was exhausting.
There's only so much one can stand hearing about nautical knots, tannery, fast rubik cube solving, or welding or, in this case, fitness.

@ExplosiveDiorEar well done! That's a massive lift.

God forbid anyone should talk about the many and wonderful things there are to learn about in this short life of ours, rather than vegetate on the couch watching Love Island or all the other crap my colleagues seem to watch (and drone endlessly about)

So he should have said something nicer but the way you posed in the doorway and demanded a compliment does sound potentially a bit irritating. It sounds like a combination of you being a bit braggadacious about it and him having an off moment and/or being jealous / insecure. I think you’re right to raise it later and see what he says.

Unless your hobby was dogging YABU to give it up.

My BIL is like this, although he is terribly jealous tbf, but he just can't bring himself to be supportive about anything, so he will deflect any sort of praise/congratulations with a snippy comment instead.

Some people don't like other people being successful in anything because it reflects their own inadequacies.. or something.

There's nothing bizarre about a creme egg!

More fool you. It’s not about him being comfortable, it’s about your right to freely enjoy a hobby. Why on earth would you pander to mistrust ?

That’s a fantastic achievement, a real milestone, congratulations!

Unfortunately unless someone lifts themselves, they have no idea how hard you will have worked for this. Your DH’s comment was sour and unnecessary. Spotting someone like that is common practice. He should be pleased for you, not a miserable git.

Well done OP, that's a brilliant achievement! I think it's a real shame that your partner didn't congratulate you and show how proud he is of you. He sounds like he's jealous and that's a very unattractive personality trait! If I were you, I'd tell him immediately how disappointed you are in his response. Then I'd go out and treat yourself to a lovely dinner, or a new dress or some fancy toiletries or whatever you love - you deserve it!

My husband is into F1, Aviation, cars and lately cruise ships as he realised there is an app like flight radar for nautical traffic when wee could see cruise ships from our balcony on holiday. I have no interest in the things but I listen when he talks about them and ask questions as I know what j like probably bored him rigid but he listens to me. When my DH managed to run his first 5k I was his biggest support telling him how proud I was of him. That’s what partners do I thought 🤷🏻‍♀️

That sounds ideal.

Congratulations on your impressive achievement!

I’m desperate to know what this hobby was. Unless it was deep-throating I just cannot imagine him having a leg to stand on.