Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

[ExplosiveDiorEar]

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

TBH, there’s one in particular I’ve noticed from other threads too. Think they just like being an arse.

Congratulations on your achievement! I thought I did well to deadlift 10kg over my own body weight. Squatting 1.5x your body weight for multiple reps is amazing!

Spotting someone like your trainer did is standard practice. Your DP sounds like a jealous dick.

Congratulations!

Can you go out this weekend (without him) and celebrate your achievement with people who are supportive?

If there was a pattern of this behaviour, I’d be shouting RUN - I lived with it for years until it felt “normal” and now my spidey-senses start tingling when I read something like this.

BUT. If this is a one-off, and it sounds from what you’ve said that it is, then I’d raise it with him (tomorrow is a good idea or even in a few days’ time) and just gently say “by the way, I’ve been reflecting on […] and it actually made me feel really sad and deflated. You’re normally really supportive so it came as a bit of a shock. Can we talk about it?”.

No relationship is perfect but lovely to be in one where you can actually have grown up conversations about things! Good luck (let us know how it goes).

YANBU

I couldn’t imagine my loved one achieving something (getting a new job, losing 1lb, passing a test, finding something they’ve lost etc) and not congratulating them/acting happy for them.

Congratulations op 👏
Cream egg in July, lucky you😂
Must be looking good if dp is jealous, go girl xx

Is this sarcasm

🤣🤣

You can't be serious. This is your takeaway from this post!?

OP, YANBU. I would be very hurt by your partner's dismissive attitude. Does he have form for belittling your acheivments?

Massive congratulations! That’s an amazing feat. I am really impressed.

If your DP isn’t normally like this all I can think is that his own insecurities are getting in the way of sharing in your happiness over this accomplishment. Whether his insecurity is jealousy or fear that you’ve grown beyond him. It’s sad that he’s reacted like this but speaks to his character not yours.

I guess its like when my DH comes home and tells me about something he did at golf. He might as well be telling me he took the bins in 😂
The gym people will be proud of you, you really need people that are into the thing to get any sort of impressed reaction.
Like when people say they ran a marathon, it just means absolutely nothing to me as an acheivement.

At the same time, I wonder if part of what's hurting here is the contrast between the environment at the gym — where people are literally paid to notice your progress, encourage you, and celebrate every win

I'm guessing you don't go to the gym much. All the personal trainer's I've worked with have been hugely passionate about helping people reach their goals. Yes they get paid but being a personal trainer is less of a 'job' more of a lifestyle, at least with the one's I've worked with.

That’s an amazing achievement OP well done! (As a relative newbie to the gym I am in awe)
sorry your DP was an arse. Maybe he feels a bit inadequate as he couldn’t lift that much?

As much as I respect my husband and would never purposefully make him uncomfortable... this is batshit crazy. In a good relationship you wouldn't have to give up your hobbies.

Unless your hobby was sex work?

Though there can be instances where a pursuit needs to be scaled back a bit if it is taking too much time or finance away from the family, having to give up completely because of someone's insecurity is a very bad sign.

Well..I think its sad you gave up a hobby because of your husbands insecurities. I once dated a guy, who had issued with me doing strongman/woman training and wanted me to cover my arms up on hot days to hide the bruises incase someone thought he had inflicted the bruises on me (!?!?) I dumped that guy pretty quickly!

Well done OP, that's a huge win.. you should be proud! Your boyfriend sounds insecure... im guessing he doesn't weight train? So doesn't understand that you need someone to spot you when pushing yourself eith heavy weights!

I sort of get your point but squatting 1.5x your weight is incredible and all he could do was make a remark that not only took the wind out of her sails but accused her trainer of being inappropriate, I don't think it's the same

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions

more fool you.

OP, this is what abusive people do to bring you down. Sorry, but this is what I see here.

Well done!

@Ohtobemycat

Could YOU run a marathon??

Well I think that’s a brilliant feat . Congratulations from me ! People often get really jealous & weird when we improve physically or lose weight …

Omg! Can't believe you did that!

@SaturdayDream

well, lots of us are interested, so clearly you are wrong!

@ElCorazon

you really wanna get out more hun, if you genuinely find that so amusing.

I miss the laughing "react" choice! Bravo for almost making me choke on my ginger ale though!

This! Well done op.
bloody love crème eggs!!