Feeling wounded by DP's comment about a fitness video I sent him.

[ExplosiveDiorEar]

Today I achieved a big personal fitness goal I've been working towards for about a year - squatting 1.5x my body weight for five reps.

A woman I train with videoed me doing it. In the video, the gym instructor is stood a step or two behind me, has his hands level with my armpits and is squatting along with me. All very standard practice for spotting someone when they're lifting.

I sent the video to DP.

At the end of the session, the gym instructor gave me a creme egg and was really effusive in his praise. The woman I train with was also full of hearty congratulations. I came away feeling completely pumped and proud.

When I got home, I did a muscle man pose for DP as soon I was through the front door and said "Well, what did you think?" I hoped expected some kind words or congratulations. He knows how hard I've worked for this and has been supportive.

But he just said "Tom's a bit handsy isn't he?"

It completely took the wind out of my sails. I know I'm probably overreacting but I just felt so gutted that's the first thing DP said. No "well done" or "great work", just a comment about the instructor. Even if DP had legitimate concerns about the gym instructor being handsy (which he's not at all), surely he could've saved them until later or tomorrow.

Sorry, I just feel deflated. I'm probably overreacting.

Under His eye 🙄

Because she was proud of herself and hoped her husband would be too! Some of you are such arses!

He was probably just jealous of your creme egg.

Some people can't abide not scoring sweets when others get them.

YABU for eating a creme egg when you've worked so hard to get fit.

Joking 😉 well done OP

Thankfully no other woman on here can "understand" his or your position, @didntlikeanyofthesuggestions . I wonder what else you have given up to appease a jealous and controlling man. You're in an abusive relationship. No woman should have to give up a hobby because her jealous and controlling man has a problem with it. That's truly pitiful. I feel sorry for you. This is 2025 and women are still so desperate for a man that they give up part of themselves and their interest for it. Please get some self respect.

Exactly! Plus it’s standard practice to film yourself when going for a pb or checking your form. She wasn’t posting it on slcksl
media (although perfectly fine if she did). She wanted to show her husband that she has done something pretty damm awesome. Squatting 1.5 times your body weight is no mean feat. We’re likely talking something in the region of 90-100kg or even more.

Jesus Christ what a bleak little take. Is this what your relationship is like? Do you not expect even a little bit of warmth or enthusiasm or pride from your partner when you achieve something?

Agreed. I also spat my water out laughing at the woman who informed us she can't see why running a marathon is a feat of any sort. I can't run to the bus stop. That's exactly why running for 3-4hr is so impressive to me. Maybe she does an 100m ultra before breakfast every day though, who knows.

It's a shame when people turn indifference to their fellow human beings and their doings into a sort of virtue, though.

Can everyone posting bloody realise that it's not hot in the whole of the UK. Just because it's hot for you doesn't mean people are acting different because of the heat FFS. There are other places from where you are.

I definitely think he's jealous OP, I had a look at a video of squat spotting and I think it's the proximity + squatting + plus arms close, I appreciate this is standard but it does look very cosy/intimate.

However he could have congratulated you and then brought it up later and explained that he was feeling some type of way about how cosy it looks to an outsider.

Well done, OP

Thanks for all your support. And thanks for the "well dones" - I wasn't fishing for compliments but I am proud of what I achieved!

I decided not to bring it up again today. I decided not to open old wounds and/or let DP know that his comment got to me.

Instead, I went to the gym and started thinking with the instructor about my next fitness goal 🤪

So you let him off the hook and decided not to call his behaviour out. So he got away with it. And, didn't know he offended you so he could apologise/make reparations. Not a good decision imo. To me, it's a wimp out. Sorry but that's how I see it. I would have read him the riot act. I would not have let him get away with it.

@Feistycat Your username checks out

But I agree. I couldn't live with a joysuck who refused to share in my happiness and instead decided to say another man had got a bit too close to me, as though his personal possession were somehow under threat. He may as well piss on OP to mark her as his property. He's foul.

Holy shit what is wrong with people here?

Doesn’t sound healthy for a marriage to just let things slide that hurt you.

Be an adult and just tell him how you felt. It’s not a big deal.

Ok, hadn't really thought about it like that.

I knew I'd get upset if I brought it up today. So I started planning my next fitness goal which made me very happy.

I might bring it up in a couple of days when I can be calm about it. Thanks for giving my head a wobble about that 😂

This is a very reasonable decision but, longterm, you need to think about what a shitty comment he made and why you were so reluctant to call him on it. He should be ablevto hear your disappointment and apologize..

what makes you think she wants to be celebrated “by everyone”?

I will never understand this , you are still you your husband doesnt own you .
I wouldn't be giving up no hobbies if partner was uncomfortable he would either need to trust me or bye bye !!

How to answer comments like that in the moment is always tricky.

I might have gone hard on the 'do you really think I'd work with a gym person who puts his hands where I don't want them?' line because it's a wholly inappropriate questioning of your judgement.

Otherwise 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all's springs to mind. Would be good if he could stretch to 'well done' but if he can't he could not make it worse with stupid communication.

Hmm, just wondering if you could lift your DP over your head to demonstrate why your achievement was so impressive. He might be very eager to show you lots of appreciation then!

Nailed it.

Some really fucking weird posts on this thread.. sounding very bitter and miserable.
Congrats OP, you should be very proud! Hope I can do that one day..

And I love the creme egg treat! 🤣 Why on earth would hot weather stop someone eating one.

Amazing OP! I’ve been weight training for over a year and not even up to body weight squats yet so I know what an amazing achievement this is! 👏

Oh bugger off.

This