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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH not changed bedding for 4 weeks

499 replies

peachescariad · 01/07/2025 12:36

He's in a separate bedroom. Flithy f**ker not changed his bed for 4 weeks, so this morning I asked him if he was thinking of changing his sheets as he's been in them for 4 weeks.....he doesn't have a clue how long they've been on....If I had not mentioned it, I wonder how long he'd have kept them on.
He's in our son's room and he's coming back end of July so have ordered some nice new bedding for him 😄

OP posts:
Blueytwo · 02/07/2025 20:42

You only wash hand towels as well monthly? Really? There are eco programmes on machines if you really think youre saving the planet . There is nothing lovelier for me than a clean fresh bed and a sweet smelling towel. Heaven knows there are a limited number of simple pleasures in life: sweet smelling kind people and fresh linen come high on my list. (Does the cynic in me just think youre not that keen on washing. . . whoops. . .perhaps I hadnt better say that as we all make personal choices .).

Mikey87 · 02/07/2025 20:47

You must not like him very much. It must feel good to get reassurance that he is a filth bag. However on this occasion not everyone appears to agree with you.

smilingontheinside · 02/07/2025 20:51

Soonenough I always said if I won the lottery bigtime my indulgence would be to have my bedding changed everyday by someone else (hate fighting with the duvet cover) and taken away and laundered. High thread count cotton as well, bliss 😊

Tiredbut · 02/07/2025 20:57

london111 · 01/07/2025 14:46

You are being ridiculous. We are heading towards a country wide water shortage, not to mention damage to planet with overuse of detergents. I think people who push an agenda to constantly wash things (washing towels every week!) are utterly selfish with the planet’s limited resources. But worse they then start to try and make the rest of us feel ‘unclean’. Ridiculous.

It’s not an agenda 😂 I wash pyjamas, cardigans, jeans and anything else that has touched my skin or clothing after each use. If I tried a pair of knickers on and changed my mind I’d put them in the wash! What the hell?!

using a towel more than a week is musty crusty and dusty

JCS1000 · 02/07/2025 21:15

I’m with you, I think four weeks is grim. Also it would lead me to question what his general hygiene is like.

beforetherain20 · 02/07/2025 21:21

2to5 · 02/07/2025 20:09

I was brought up to always have a bath Sunday evening, ears cleaned toenails trimmed and a clean bed. A clean bed is one of life's simple pleasures. I do shower every evening and wash the bedding on a weekend, ours and the three children. My eldest daughter 15 now strip's her bed and puts it in the wash before she does her weekend job i wash it and if i have time remake it for her because she loves coming home to a clean bed after a hard day's work. All my kids love it they often say ooh clean bed get in and have a good sniff before they snuggle down!

Same, it sounds sad but I love Sundays

I get up to be first in Aldi, come home and do some batch cooking. Clean the kitchen, hoover, tidy, change my bedding and everything is done before I have a soak in the bath

Foodoverload · 02/07/2025 21:51

ExDP wouldn’t do housework. His only chore was changing the bedding every fortnight. He decided he didn’t want to do it. As I was apparently his maid, cook and general slave I refused to change them as I was moving out. We went 7 weeks without a bed change. It was battle of the wills. I didn’t die, they were smelly and I feel I won.

OneTidyLilacRaven · 02/07/2025 22:00

4 weeks is fine for me. I sleep alone and wash.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/07/2025 22:30

Gudgollymissmolly · 02/07/2025 20:01

Instead of berating him, you should be guiding him cause he clearly doesn't know how often he should be changing the bed linen

Is he 3? 😂

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/07/2025 22:36

Taytayslayslay · 02/07/2025 18:27

My DP has a painful skin condition (can't remember it's name) where his skin sheds so badly, it's like snow in the morning lol. Cause of this my bedding gets changed roughly every 5 days. If it's been a really bad flare up I change it as soon as we are up. My kids is every 1 to 2 weeks depending on how clean they are. This week my youngest has had hers changed 3 times because of a sickness bug 😭😭 fortunately the weather's been great for washing and drying quickly.

Sounds like psoriasis. You can get a steroid cream for it.

cupfinalchaos · 02/07/2025 22:38

Revolting. Ours changed twice a week that’s my limit.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/07/2025 22:39

Alltheyellowbirds · 02/07/2025 18:21

Hang on, clean pants AND clean pyjamas? Surely if you’re wearing pants under them and the pants are new every night you don’t also need to change your PJs.

This thread has been eye-opening. I wash sheets, towels and nightwear weekly. Might switch up the nightwear more often if it’s hot and I’m sweating.

have also never worn pants under PJs.

Edited
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Get ready then:
i wear clean pj's and pants every night. 🤯

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/07/2025 22:48

Dweetfidilove · 02/07/2025 17:57

Yes I did - no idea why my post ws deleted.

I was in the queue at the airport yesterday and you could tell the people who are averse to daily showers, freshly washed clothes and bedding. The have that stale / funky smell that mumsnetters insist doesn't exist.

Why is that unbelievable?

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Could it be long-haul flights? Cancelled flights?
There are showers at the airports, though...

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/07/2025 22:50

Azandme · 01/07/2025 21:02

Why on earth were you making your children sleep there at all?! That desperate for a man you opted for a "filthy animal" and, knowing how filthy it was you actually brought towels from HOME to put your children to bed in his filthy?!

That is waaaaay worse than him being filthy. Poor kids.

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And she slept with him. 🤮

Dweetfidilove · 02/07/2025 23:00

I'm surprised people maintain successful relationships with people who have such wildly different standards of hygiene.
I'm not kissing, bedding or even holding hands with some of the filthy fuckers described here. Just yuck ☹️.

Iloveanicegarden · 02/07/2025 23:03

I've only read the first page of this thread and I'm of the opinion that the more 'germ phobic' we become the more we will suffer/develop allergies. Our immune system needs to be activated by low level exposure . Most people don't work hard enough on an average day to raise any kind of sweat, Daily showering and hair washing removes the very oils that we then spend shed loads of money on items to replace them.
Washing clothes etc after one wearing is sheer madness. Fabrics wear out faster when washed frequently, not to mention the use of water (a finite resource), detergents (pollutants), energy, the planned obsolescence involved in washing machine design. (and just for the record Fairy dishwashing liquid might be good for hands that do dishes, but it's not so good for fish -harmful to the aquatic environment is what it says on the back of the bottles!

WitchOfSomorrostro · 02/07/2025 23:07

So? Don't see the problem. I always change them about 4-weekly. Sometimes more if needed, sometimes less in winter. Don't care about the planet, simply can't be arsed. I'm fine, don't have any skin conditions/allergies/whatever. And if someone thinks I stink - they're welcome to pass me by, I won't lose any sleep over it.

And what heatwave? Well ok, in the South it was maybe. It was 28 here, that's barely just warm in summer, in my book.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/07/2025 23:26

Crikeyalmighty · 02/07/2025 16:57

@SleeplessInWherever I can only conclude poster is a SAHM, very part time or on maternity leave - OR seriously rich with a housekeeper - if anyone is working full time and hoovering and steam cleaning mattresses personally they will more than likely burn out at some point -

Always have been able to keep my home clean. And everyone does their share. It really doesn't take long either. ie strip beds throw into washer. Vacuum floors and quickly vacuum around/under on top of beds. Steam mop floors, change attachment and steam tops of beds. Done. Maybe 20 mins.

Serrina · 02/07/2025 23:48

Blueytwo · 02/07/2025 20:42

You only wash hand towels as well monthly? Really? There are eco programmes on machines if you really think youre saving the planet . There is nothing lovelier for me than a clean fresh bed and a sweet smelling towel. Heaven knows there are a limited number of simple pleasures in life: sweet smelling kind people and fresh linen come high on my list. (Does the cynic in me just think youre not that keen on washing. . . whoops. . .perhaps I hadnt better say that as we all make personal choices .).

People just like to make excuses for their scuzziness

dcthatsme · 02/07/2025 23:51

🤣😂 Sounds pretty standard to me

Tourmalines · 03/07/2025 00:54

london111 · 01/07/2025 14:46

You are being ridiculous. We are heading towards a country wide water shortage, not to mention damage to planet with overuse of detergents. I think people who push an agenda to constantly wash things (washing towels every week!) are utterly selfish with the planet’s limited resources. But worse they then start to try and make the rest of us feel ‘unclean’. Ridiculous.

Agree . Such a drama queen .

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/07/2025 01:08

Tourmalines · 03/07/2025 00:54

Agree . Such a drama queen .

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That hardly makes anyone dramatic. Maybe if OP was complaining it's been a week it would BU, though.

Tourmalines · 03/07/2025 02:00

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/07/2025 01:08

That hardly makes anyone dramatic. Maybe if OP was complaining it's been a week it would BU, though.

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Calling him a filthy f…ker and skanky is over exaggerated when he seems to be okay in everything else . Yep . OTT .

SimplyAFolly · 03/07/2025 02:04

Most modern sheets will take 3 to 4 months with a push but would not go any further as they will start smelling after that.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/07/2025 02:35

Tourmalines · 03/07/2025 02:00

Calling him a filthy f…ker and skanky is over exaggerated when he seems to be okay in everything else . Yep . OTT .

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OP's assessment is only in one area that she finds filthy, so seems fair.