To just want to go to one event where the step mother isn’t there too

[Skibbidy]

I don’t dislike her. She’s been in their lives since they were very small (me and exDH divorced over 10 years ago). We share them 50/50 - she’s a good step mum and the kids like her a lot. All good

But - they both have a tendency to take over anytime we have to attend anything. My particular bugbear is parents evenings where the teachers will often to talk to ex and step mum and just ignore me. I’m not exactly a wallflower but it happens constantly.

When one of the D.C. was in hospital this year I had to keep reminding the doctors that actually I was “mum” and they could address their questions to me.

We went to the sixth form for DS and same thing, teachers just addressing those two, and not me.

I introduce myself as their mother so I’m not sure why this is happening ? Probably because the are a pair so easier to look at them and discuss

I’d just like one parents evening which isn’t the ex DH and step mum show tbh

I think she’s over stepping and it’s annoying op. And I don’t think the other threads are relevant. Most of the time the poster gets told the H is a lazy toad and it’s his issue to sort - which I normally agree with.

orher than separate appointments in not sure what you can do. I assume the ex finds out about this stuff himself rather than you providing the info as if so I’d be included to be much less communicative about it.

my prep friend had this when their DS had an important medical information session as he’d just been diagnosed with a life long condition. Dad sent step mum as apparently she was better at taking info in than he was! That was the last time he got any info about any appointments for his kids.

As a step mom, I’ve had to fill in for parents’ evening when both biological parents have been busy working. And I have been the main one helping them with hw etc. There have been occasions when me and my DH’s ex wife have gone to school things together without DH. We sort it between us. I also have a v busy job- and the kids can be a total pita- but I ❤️ them. I take a back step where appropriate. OP- Don’t you think it’s nice your DC has another adult who cares? (Although I get it)